I use Charmin extra soft (makes my tushy happy!) but I'm sure that the hemmy problem is also due to the huge amount of "sittin' on my ass" that's required for this job.
Sitting on my ass... I do that all day long and I gotta tell you it sucks. That brings up another topic -- chairs. What do you guys prefer other than Aeron?
Originally posted by brocklanders: ... but I'm sure that the hemmy problem is also due to the huge amount of "sittin' on my ass" that's required for this job.
--Brock
The Helmy problem??? What?
My solution: Use the "crumple" method (much easier) and put a dab of lotion on it....it'll make your winky-hole clean as a whistle, it'll smell like heaven, and you'll never have the "helmy" problem ever again
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Originally posted by CDSmith: The Helmy problem??? What?
My solution: Use the "crumple" method (much easier) and put a dab of lotion on it....it'll make your winky-hole clean as a whistle, it'll smell like heaven, and you'll never have the "helmy" problem ever again
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CDSmith. . . OMG
Tam OMG you gave me a memory of one of my friends who had a really fat cat and he color clean himself so he would scoot around the floor =o) bwhahahaaha
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Peace will come, just kill them all...
The main thing about toilet paper is that there are two sorts of people in the world: cretins who let the paper roll off the back of the roll and normal people who let it roll off the front.
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Originally posted by UnseenWorld: The main thing about toilet paper is that there are two sorts of people in the world: cretins who let the paper roll off the back of the roll and normal people who let it roll off the front.
Lord, amen. Backrollers are all just stupid people that should be set outside at the next blizzard.
Moose, you are truly a god.
A bear and a rabbit are having a shit in the woods,
they both finish at the same time, and the bear says
to the rabbit "do you have a problem with shit
sticking to your fur?"
whereupon the rabbit says "no, I surely don't"
......so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit
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HOLY SHIT Tam! ROFLMFAO I just remember my moms dog. She used to scoot her ass all over the floor, and it had NOTHING to do with shitting! LOL Guess it must be the hemoroid problem that brock is having
Balljoints
My Time is 3hrs different from
what this board shows
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Balljoints:
[B]HOLY SHIT Tam! ROFLMFAO I just remember my moms dog. She used to scoot her ass all over the floor, and it had NOTHING to do with shitting! LOL Guess it must be the hemoroid problem that brock is having
Oh, and back to the question. I am a folder. And yes CD, I do have the butt paper come off the front of the roll...(damn, did I really go that far in depth about my shitting habits?)
Balljoints
My Time is 3hrs different from
what this board shows
Who uses toilet paper? I take old corncobs to wipe my dirty ass. Its hurts at first, but after the first week you get use to it when the scabs have healed up.
Originally posted by Balljoints: HOLY SHIT Tam! ROFLMFAO I just remember my moms dog. She used to scoot her ass all over the floor, and it had NOTHING to do with shitting! LOL Guess it must be the hemoroid problem that brock is having
Balljoints
As a German Shepherd breeder for 8 years, I can tell you that when a dog scoots its ass all over the floor ... it is because it has WORMS !!!
Tam ... you'd better see a vet ... Er ... Ummm ... I mean doctor, as soon as possible Hun ... LOL
Originally posted by smutcash: Ummm, I've never heard of anyone folding their toilet paper before...
Sure, it's like a parachute: If you don't fold your own, you could be taking your life in your hands.
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crumpled for years til someone yelled at me for using too much of their house toilet paper. Used to over-flow the toilet all the time. I started folding and never had a problem after that.
Originally posted by carnalpassion: I've tired BOTH ways, and you know either way sooner or later, your finger rips through and you get shit under your nails!!!
Let me guess.... as a day job you're the guy that rips the lettuce for salad at the busiest restaurant in town, right?
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What I do is print out hard copies of this message board, crumple, then wipe. It hurts, but the satisfaction is WELL worth it!
Hey board, you ever get done going #2, only to find out there's like one sheet of tp left on the dispenser. You reach over to the cupboard under the sink (where you keep reserves) and realize that's gone to? I have done plenty of runs (no pun intended) accross the house, pants around the ankles, in search of any viable paper product... heheh. What about you?
Originally posted by brocklanders:
Hey board, you ever get done going #2, only to find out there's like one sheet of tp left on the dispenser. You reach over to the cupboard under the sink (where you keep reserves) and realize that's gone to? I have done plenty of runs (no pun intended) accross the house, pants around the ankles, in search of any viable paper product... heheh. What about you?
Originally posted by Brian: crumpled for years til someone yelled at me for using too much of their house toilet paper. Used to over-flow the toilet all the time. I started folding and never had a problem after that.
As someone who has never (in 54 years) plugged up a toilet with toilet paper, and yet has run into that situation on many occasions, I have always wondered how shitty one'd behind could possibly be that they really needed that much paper.
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Originally posted by dank: ok, how many squares do you use on average?
I use about 4.
4 squares? What the hell?! You must go through lots of soap then!!!
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And speaking of TP. In 1991 (way before the the Gorby fiasco), I went to Russia and from the east to the west and in EVERY semi-major city, EVEN Moscow (outside of the tourist area) one of the most VALUABLE and PRECIOUS items was toilet paper! (and toilet seats!)
OMG.
If it wasn't for our crew planning for this ahead of time, we would have suffered. I'm too used to the good 'ol soft, supple, fuzzy tp. They use what reminded me of "brown writing paper" from grade school cut in 4x4" squares. Next time, try wiping your ass with writing paper.
And that's if you could even find those paper squares. About 80% of the public facilities had none. So thank god we brought rolls and rolls.
EVERY mother fuckin public bathroom was deplorable. You never had to ask the locals where a restroom was 'cause you could smell them 500 feet away! And NONE of the toilets had toilet seats. I think it's a precious commodity there cause all the seats were stolen/missing. Sooooo...as you can imagine..doing the "2" was quite a task....
If you ever go, stay in the heart of Moscow and don't go anywhere else. You're ass will suffer.
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lol, my ass is way hairy and collects many dingle-berries so I gotta keep wipin.
Sometimes it's like a fuckin soft serve machine gone mad. Ya keep wiping and more shit comes out. It's a viscious cycle!
I'm in counceling for it now.
Originally posted by UnseenWorld: As someone who has never (in 54 years) plugged up a toilet with toilet paper, and yet has run into that situation on many occasions, I have always wondered how shitty one'd behind could possibly be that they really needed that much paper.
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