SureFire

Fallen football icon O.J. Simpson loves golf, but not at 4 a.m.

It's come to my attention that the hot topic of discussion in the west Miami suburb that Simpson has called home for the past three years is that a smart aleck in a helicopter has been dropping golf balls by the bucketful onto his roof in the middle of the night!

Those who don't like the accused double murderer will be happy to know that golf balls dropped on a rooftop from several hundred feet high sound like machine-gun fire -- not pleasant at 4 a.m.

Suspects in the golf-ball caper abound, but one of Simpson's neighbors -- a retired cop who has found mysterious balls on his roof less than 500 feet away from Simpson's -- says some of his ex-colleagues at the Miami-Dade Police Department are the most likely perpetrators.

"Sounds like some guys on the force are playing a little joke on Mr. Simpson," the neighbor says. "The cops keep getting called to his house for one thing or the other, and they just don't like him.

"And having worked with some of the helicopter guys, I can tell you that golf balls on the roof is a well-known trick. It wakes up the heaviest sleeper."

In January, Simpson's 17-year-old daughter Sydney dialed 911 and had police come to their house after she and her dad got into a heated argument. Since 2000, local cops also investigated a road-rage incident involving Simpson, alleged drug trafficking out of his house, and domestic arguments with girlfriend Christie Prody.

Said Simpson when reached at home: "I'm having dinner. I don't want to talk to no Star magazine."

His lawyer, meanwhile, said cops have treated The Juice with the utmost respect. "Police officers here have watched out for O.J.," says Yale Galanter. "I'm not saying there isn't one rogue cop playing tricks on him. But most have been professional."

The cops, meanwhile, swear to God they didn't do it. "It doesn't sound like something we'd do," says Miami-Dade PD Spokesman Juan Del Castillo. "We treat everyone with courtesy, even Mr. Simpson."

Of course, the golf ball irony hasn't escaped his neighbors. Simpson promised to look for his wife's murderer when he was acquitted of killing her and a companion in 1994, but since then has spent more time playing golf than sleuthing.

And now, after living next to Simpson for nearly three years, the neighbor finally has a reason to knock on his door. "I'm thinking of going over one day to ask him if he's got any extra golf balls," he says.



Published on: May 15, 2003
http://www.starmagazine.com/stories/...stanceid=58011

Thought is was kind of funny

kmanrox

if i ever get a terminal illness, he's going to be the first person i go and kill....

Gutterboy

Used golfballs $1.50 per dozen:

http://www.onlygolfballs.com/

Ship them here:

Attn: OJ Simpson c/o Helicopter Patrol
Miami Dade Police Department
400 N.W. 2nd Ave, Miami, FL 33128

theking

A WMD would be better.

__________________
When you're running down my country hoss...you're walking on the fighting side of me!

FOR THE LYING LOWLIFE POSTING AS PATHFINDER...https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-pr...athfinder.html

Daen

Once you have your bucket'o'balls give these guys a call.

http://www.biscaynehelicopters.com/