Think Im actually getting my leaky roof fixed soon!!!

What made you think anybody cares about this and that it warranted a thread?

Is that code for finally addressing your legendary diarrhea issue?
Hope the proctologist was gentle. :D

What kind of roof you got? How old is it? Time for a new one?

Dunno really. Guess you felt it warranted your reply though, so fair play

Actually I'm just kinda deeply excited about it. I've been waiting ages for someone to come and do it - Hopefully my wait wont be for much longer...

I just think its gonna be fantastic, that when I awake bolt upright in the middle of the night, screaming at the top of my lungs and crying uncontrollably like a baby, I'll be able to go back to bed, safe in the knowledge that my wet bed is from my own piss and poo, and not from the fucking roof!

It's a leaky one. Yeah, total new roof needed. Still have not heard back from this most recent bloke yet though...

People just don't understand that when they come to house to measure up, I cant help it that I get protective and kinda end up screaming at them... They need to stop being so delicate with their little bitty girly feelings, man up, and do the job that someone else is paying them to do for me !

Well, just had an update from the people that run my building, saying that they will be doing it on Friday, provided I agree to few conditions. They have basically said that due to my previous behaviours with other work people they have sent round, that they want me to agree that as the people doing my roof will not be entering my living space, that I have to leave them alone to get on with it, and not go outside the property and be verbally abusive to them.

I've agreed, in order to get it done, and I WON'T go outside and be verbally abusive to them. I won't need to. They will be directly above my head with most of the ceiling missing, so I plan to lay in my bed and be verbally abusive to them from there instead... I'll update again on Friday

You could always leave some "surprises" up there for them.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/hoodlin...t-on-this-roof

i never fix leaky roofs

Scaffolder was around earlier. I didnt shout at him. TBF I was half asleep and he was gone before I got the chance...

Nah, Im not allowed up there anymore. It was me going up there last summer to sunbathe naked that did it I think...

So fat I broke my own roof...

Right on maaan!

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Scaffoldings up ! Roll on tommorow

Well its all over and done with now, so I wont need to update you all again, but kinda a non event really.

I was awoken early this morning, not by the builder, but by one of my nurses who gave me a xanax to help me relax. I bargained her up to two and was feeling pretty spacey when she revealed that the builder who was coming was actually deaf, so I was welcome to shout at him as much as I wanted as he couldn't hear me...

Challenge accepted, so I went to my laptop and looked up how to sign C.U.N.T. in British sign language, and while the cunt was up on the roof I practised doing the symbols in quick succession... It was pretty easy really, quite a lot like the TikTok dances I do on a daily basis...

So, when he finally got to the bit above my head, he was greeted with me calling him a cunt in sign language, and the look on his face amused me no end. He finished the bit above my head and when he took the next bit up, he was near my ass, so I shat the bed and made him enjoy my aroma. Cunt might be deaf, but his nose still works I though. Then the xanax REALLY kicked in, I fell asleep and when I woke up it was all done...

So, another day of fun and games. I think tomorrow I'm gonna hide by the post box and shout at the postman when he delivers my post.. Hopefully I'll get give some more xanax to calm me down... I live in hope