I would never tell either of my parents to GFY, I've wanted to many times, but I never would. Keyword: respect.

If your kids don't respect you, it's only your fault.

depends on how your kid is...good kid or bad kid...constantly cutting...good grades, bad grades....however your daughter is, even if you ground her for cutting class, you can't force her to do well in school, it's her own choice to make..grounding your daughter only makes her think twice about cutting but it really doesn't matter if she's going to show up to class and get bad grades anyway

yea, but what underlines that respect?

Why did you feel you could not say GFY?

You don't know what makes one respect another?

i dont think you could say, the answer is "A".

I think respect means different things to different people.

I never said the answer is "A".

Telling someone to go fuck themselves in bad context is disrespectful. I respect my parents because of everything I've seen what they wenty through while trying to raise myself and my brothers. I respect my parents because they have always pushed me to do my best instead of settling for second. I respect my parents because they were hard on me at the right times. I respect my parents because they taught me how to treat people well and to be a good person. I respect my parents because they respect me.

Why would I do so much as to disrespect them by saying "go fuck yourself"? It sucks knowing that some people don't have parents worthy of respect. Fortunately, I'm not one of them...

Hmmmm - as years go by ~ experience kicks in...

At 17 years old, my mum realised (in hrr dressing gown) that I was going to ride whatever bike I wanted. She kicked me out. Fair play. You roll the dice, you see what you got.

Yup, at 17 I was prepared to leave home to follow what I wanted to do. If your protoge isn't going to follow your rules then tell her to get out and find out how hard the real world is.

Guilt?

I think guilt is a large part of being a child- you dont want to let your parents down.

I think several of your other points also are much easily understood in hindsight, rather than through the eyes of a child. (certainly that is my experience, i've often thought my parents were wrong in whatever capacity, only later, with maturity, could i understand what they were saying).

I think fear is another component. Not always through explicit fear, but perhaps through the unknown, or lack of conviction.

I can see the situation where i raise my child to understand right and wrong, but also to be someone who thinks freely, and upon their own will.

I would like to think my child is someone who would/could challenge my opinions, rather than disregard them.

100% :thumbsup

it's not guilt, it's all appreciation

"Its not the fact that she's cutting class you should worry about, but what is she doing when she cuts. "

that's the most important question.

If the kid is telling her that punishment isnt going to work and she is coming to us for advice. I think the kid may already be a problem and that house doesnt have the strongest parenting. To the people wanting to raise free thinkers ,you are in for a world of pain,they are children not adults. As my father would say this house is not a democracy its a Dictatorship he who pays the bills makes the rules. lol

ok that was stupid,
children should be free thinkers,

all children who arent get into the real world and get slapped in the face.

thank God for condoms :)

Going to the lowest classes are easy. :winkwink:

ground her

Free thinkers as far as following the rules of the housea and thats not the punishment I should get. Kids need structure, you dont give to them, you are both in for a world of pain.

Ask her why she did it...

You never know what exactly happened...

it could be from meeting a guy (ground her ass)
doing drugs (ground her ass)
to taking a friend to planned parenthood (talk to her)

Now, if she seems to think that she should be telling you what other parents do or don't do their 17 yr olds, tell her at least you care...lots of parents don't. And remind her she's not 18 yet...or paying her bills.

99% of the reasons she cut will result in grounding...and DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT...set a length of time and back down from it...she'll forever know that you don't follow through

i cut school a lot. grounding, when i was finally caught, didn't make me want to not cut class - it made me not want to get caught. so after that, i got smart and didn't get caught. i DID still cut class.

have you found out why your daughter is cutting class? where is she going and why? either she's doing something she feels that you don't want to know about or else she is really not satisfied in her life, and we all need that or we have no motivation to do otherwise.

i know most people will say punish her in some way, but maybe try asking her calmly what's up - not yelling or threatening or talking over her as most parents will.

She's 17 years old for fucks sake, give her a beer and a spliff and tell her to do what ever she wants.


What is it with Americans and drinking, you can join the army and get killed, but you cant have a beer, that makes sense.

Were you living at home at the time..still in high school? were you working and making your own money or living off your folks at that time? It makes a big difference.

yes maam.

I was working at 15, saved up my own money over 3 years and bought my first car with my own bucks at 18.

Well if my 18 year old was.. I wouldn't feel he needed to be as responsible to me as I want now.

But not calling in, etc. (his reason for getting grounded). is a lesson everyone had to learn. When you're living at home you check in with your parents. When you're living with a spouse you check in with them. When you're the parent you check in with my kids.

I gave him a taste of his own medicine last night. I was out at a nearby Starbucks meeting with KC and MissEve. My son knew where I was.. knew I was going to call him when I was done. He called on my cell several times. When I didn't answer (didn't hear it), he got worried and left a message that he was going to drive down there if he didn't hear back from me by a certain time. Well he did hear back... but I pointed out to him that it's the same way I feel when I can't reach him, etc.

heheh nice.

Me and my mom had our understandings as well, maybe I just took her advice a little quicker than your boy.

He'll thank you later.

I have a little brother that just turned 18 ;)

:)

FUALL

A smart girl will always be a smart girl and an idiot will always be an idiot. That is the law of nature. Your kid is propably smart enough to realize that cutting class isn't the right thing to do, but the smart kids get good grades even though they cut class because they don't want to throw their life away. And the idiots just don't realize that they are wasting their future, you can't do much to make them realize otherwise since they are idiots. Just accept it and move on.

Who really cares if she cuts class, everyone cuts class, when I was "in" school, i was only probebly at class about 50% of the time.. Most high schools now a days are currupt anyways and will teach your daughter to be a slave for the rest of her life.. I got streight A's in school and graduated a year early in high school and I hardly ever went.. You should incourage her to skip school and stay home and read. She will learn much more.

Why do I find this improbeble?

Spank that little puffy ass red and show her who's boss!

Wow, some of you guys are a lot nicer than I am! :1orglaugh

When mine was 17, he skipped school. He got grounded, the car was taken away for a week (so he had to ride the bus, hehehe), and he had to clean the basement out.

That was at the beginning of his senior year and he never skipped class again. :thumbsup

How old she is shouldn't have anything to do with it. As long as my kid lives under my roof, then he goes by my rules. If he doesn't like them, he's free to move. :)

beat her with a cane , 10 strokes like in singnapore

lets see how that fool cuts class now with a scard ass.

The first time is just a warning followed by a lot of threats that you WILL follow through with.


My kids bring home anything less than a B and they are grounded until their next report card. Only exception is if I know they are REALLY trying. I SEE them studying, going to tutoring, etc..

When parenting you gotta do things BIG. Tell her next time she is home bound for 3 months and then follow through with it.

The thing is, this stand in the corner for 10 minutes shit doesn't work. Do things one time and do them right.

My son only had one spanking in his life and he will never forget it. The mere mention of the work "spanking" sends chills and shivers through his body.

Do things BIG, they will leave a longer lasting impression and you will have to do them less often.

Oh yeah, unless it was Senior Ditch Day or something. My kids all already have permission to do that. At that point they've worked hard and deserve it.

I would suggest everyday canning just to keep those little brats in check.

Take the car away (and/or license). (-:

You sound like my parents when I was in school. :winkwink:

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