Bert - Does he fuck you, or do you fuck him?

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  • Mr Pheer
    So Fucking Banned
    • Dec 2002
    • 22083

    #1

    Bert - Does he fuck you, or do you fuck him?

    I'm giving it to Bert right in his muppet ass...

    It's seriously the best thing to come around in a long time. Took me a few days to notice the change, then a couple more to learn to manipulate it, then I was like holy fuckin shit this is amazing...

    So did Bert fuck you? Or did you bend him over a chair and ram it up his ass like I did?
  • EddyTheDog
    Just Doing My Own Thing
    • Jan 2011
    • 25433

    #2
    Is Mr Pheer coming out or having a nervous breakdown?..

    Comment

    • Mr Pheer
      So Fucking Banned
      • Dec 2002
      • 22083

      #3
      Originally posted by EddyTheDog
      Is Mr Pheer coming out or having a nervous breakdown?..
      Most people won't have a clue what I'm talking about. They are probably running in circles wondering why their rankings are dropping again.

      Those that do know me, are searching for clues.

      Those that know me well, probably have heard of it and have started a spreadsheet or making changes already.

      Comment

      • EddyTheDog
        Just Doing My Own Thing
        • Jan 2011
        • 25433

        #4
        Originally posted by Mr Pheer
        Most people won't have a clue what I'm talking about. They are probably running in circles wondering why their rankings are dropping again.

        Those that do know me, are searching for clues.

        That that know me well, probably have heard of it and have started a spreadsheet or making changes already.
        Oh. Your drunk/stoned!....

        I can relate to that...

        Comment

        • Mr Pheer
          So Fucking Banned
          • Dec 2002
          • 22083

          #5
          Originally posted by EddyTheDog
          Oh. Your drunk/stoned!....

          I can relate to that...
          You're*

          god dammit

          Comment

          • EddyTheDog
            Just Doing My Own Thing
            • Jan 2011
            • 25433

            #6
            Originally posted by Mr Pheer
            You're*

            god dammit

            I'm drunk and a little bit stoned. Grammar is not at the top of my list of priorities...

            Comment

            • Ferus
              Bye - Left to do stuff
              • Feb 2013
              • 4108

              #7
              BERT is a great step for those that have spend many years optimizing for the Human surfers, rather than SE Bots.

              Comment

              • EddyTheDog
                Just Doing My Own Thing
                • Jan 2011
                • 25433

                #8
                Originally posted by Ferus
                BERT is a great step for those that have spend many years optimizing for the Human surfers, rather than SE Bots.
                Oh. That BERT...

                Comment

                • Mr Pheer
                  So Fucking Banned
                  • Dec 2002
                  • 22083

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Ferus
                  BERT is a great step for those that have spend many years optimizing for the Human surfers, rather than SE Bots.
                  Ah, someone gets it...

                  Comment

                  • ilnjscb
                    Confirmed User
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 8972

                    #10
                    What is BERT?
                    BERT stands for Bidirectional Encoder Representations from Transformers. BERT’s main objective is to understand language more like humans. A significant shift in SEO has been in SEO writing. Instead of keyword-rich, unnatural sounding content aimed at search engines, marketers have tried to tailor writing to humans. This makes sense considering humans are conducting searches and are eventually reading your content with a goal in mind.

                    BERT is the most important update since RankBrain. RankBrain, another machine learning algorithm in Google, processes search results to speculate the best results for each query. RankBrain, in addition to links and content, is one of the key ranking factors in Google’s algorithm. Though BERT is another machine learning ranking factor, this update will not fully replace RankBrain.

                    >>Mr. Pheer it would be great to have your thoughts on optimization

                    Comment

                    • JSWENSON
                      So Fucking Banned
                      • Aug 2004
                      • 3153

                      #11
                      We know about Google bruh. Let us know when it's time to fire up the Yahoo chat bots again.

                      Comment

                      • Mr Pheer
                        So Fucking Banned
                        • Dec 2002
                        • 22083

                        #12
                        Originally posted by ilnjscb
                        What is BERT?

                        >>Mr. Pheer it would be great to have your thoughts on optimization
                        Years ago, Google Analytics used to tell us the exact terms that people typed in to get to our websites. This all went away when google made the shift from http to https as they claimed the referring information was no longer "secure". We simply used the info to check for our listings and made changes to our pages to rank better or got more inbound links for what people searched for and pushed our results to the top of the SERPs.

                        So now everyone has a smart phone and they search differently, literally typing a question into google and getting filtered, long tail results. So how do you know they keywords they are using? It's staring you right in the face on the front page of google.

                        It's those god damned questions plus this BERT update.

                        Watch them change in real time. Usually four or five pop up. At least one will be relevant to what you're looking for. Click it and then close it. Three more questions with better relevency will pop up. The shit that people actually typed into google.

                        Now type that into the google search bar. Do your page rank on page one for it? Why not?

                        Hint: Answer the god damned question

                        Comment

                        • Mr Pheer
                          So Fucking Banned
                          • Dec 2002
                          • 22083

                          #13
                          Originally posted by JSWENSON
                          We know about Google bruh. Let us know when it's time to fire up the Yahoo chat bots again.
                          I took my chat operations to cell phones, and applied them to craigslist and backpage and it worked pretty good for a while, then they shut down backpage and removed personals from craigslist, and I got a bunch of cheap cellphones in my closet now. Still plenty of chatrooms out there though.

                          Comment

                          • ilnjscb
                            Confirmed User
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 8972

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Mr Pheer
                            Years ago, Google Analytics used to tell us the exact terms that people typed in to get to our websites. This all went away when google made the shift from http to https as they claimed the referring information was no longer "secure". We simply used the info to check for our listings and made changes to our pages to rank better or got more inbound links for what people searched for and pushed our results to the top of the SERPs.

                            So now everyone has a smart phone and they search differently, literally typing a question into google and getting filtered, long tail results. So how do you know they keywords they are using? It's staring you right in the face on the front page of google.

                            It's those god damned questions plus this BERT update.

                            Watch them change in real time. Usually four or five pop up. At least one will be relevant to what you're looking for. Click it and then close it. Three more questions with better relevency will pop up. The shit that people actually typed into google.

                            Now type that into the google search bar. Do your page rank on page one for it? Why not?

                            Hint: Answer the god damned question
                            Is there no automated way to do this, my be-capped friend?

                            Comment

                            • Mr Pheer
                              So Fucking Banned
                              • Dec 2002
                              • 22083

                              #15
                              Originally posted by ilnjscb
                              Is there no automated way to do this, my be-capped friend?
                              There probably is, because it could be done so easily with Python + Selenium or another browser-control plugin.

                              But you'd really need to do it manually to get the best results. I got over 100 in just a few seconds of clicking the right ones. Getting the ones not relevant to you would be a waste of time and actually hurt your listings or conversions if you included them.

                              Comment

                              • Rochard
                                Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                • Dec 2001
                                • 75733

                                #16
                                Who here remembers Evil Bert?

                                Herschel Savage
                                Brooklyn, NY

                                Comment

                                • Mr Pheer
                                  So Fucking Banned
                                  • Dec 2002
                                  • 22083

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Rochard
                                  Who here remembers Evil Bert?
                                  Bert was actually a pretty decent guy in the beginning. But living with that bastard Ernie for so many years just pushed him over the edge.

                                  Comment

                                  • punk-asss
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Oct 2007
                                    • 266

                                    #18
                                    "learn to manipulate it" - what is that supposed to mean. How did you do it? Explain.

                                    Comment

                                    • CurrentlySober
                                      Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                      • Aug 2002
                                      • 38944

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by punk-asss
                                      "learn to manipulate it" - what is that supposed to mean. How did you do it? Explain.
                                      Sleep with his missus, make her fall in love with you, then get her to put poo in his cornflakes


                                      👁️ 👍️ 💩

                                      Comment

                                      • sarettah
                                        see you later, I'm gone
                                        • Oct 2002
                                        • 14297

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by punk-asss
                                        "learn to manipulate it" - what is that supposed to mean. How did you do it? Explain.
                                        He did explain it. Re-read and if you don't get it re-read it again and again until you get it.

                                        In fact he pretty much spelled it out.

                                        Years ago, Google Analytics used to tell us the exact terms that people typed in to get to our websites. This all went away when google made the shift from http to https as they claimed the referring information was no longer "secure". We simply used the info to check for our listings and made changes to our pages to rank better or got more inbound links for what people searched for and pushed our results to the top of the SERPs.

                                        So now everyone has a smart phone and they search differently, literally typing a question into google and getting filtered, long tail results. So how do you know they keywords they are using? It's staring you right in the face on the front page of google.

                                        It's those god damned questions plus this BERT update.

                                        Watch them change in real time. Usually four or five pop up. At least one will be relevant to what you're looking for. Click it and then close it. Three more questions with better relevency will pop up. The shit that people actually typed into google.

                                        Now type that into the google search bar. Do your page rank on page one for it? Why not?

                                        Hint: Answer the god damned question
                                        .
                                        All cookies cleared!

                                        Comment

                                        • Holy Damage
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Oct 2013
                                          • 996

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Mr Pheer
                                          Years ago, Google Analytics used to tell us the exact terms that people typed in to get to our websites. This all went away when google made the shift from http to https as they claimed the referring information was no longer "secure". We simply used the info to check for our listings and made changes to our pages to rank better or got more inbound links for what people searched for and pushed our results to the top of the SERPs.

                                          So now everyone has a smart phone and they search differently, literally typing a question into google and getting filtered, long tail results. So how do you know they keywords they are using? It's staring you right in the face on the front page of google.

                                          It's those god damned questions plus this BERT update.

                                          Watch them change in real time. Usually four or five pop up. At least one will be relevant to what you're looking for. Click it and then close it. Three more questions with better relevency will pop up. The shit that people actually typed into google.

                                          Now type that into the google search bar. Do your page rank on page one for it? Why not?

                                          Hint: Answer the god damned question
                                          For MAINSTREAM its great

                                          Comment

                                          • Mr Pheer
                                            So Fucking Banned
                                            • Dec 2002
                                            • 22083

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Holy Damage
                                            For MAINSTREAM its great
                                            If you're not doing something mainstream these days, you should really ask yourself why.

                                            This also can be used for adult, I'm using it for several dating sites.

                                            Obviously it not going to work for tube sites with videos of asian teens taking anal creampies from russian midgets, but plenty of situations in which it could apply.

                                            I mean, the shit is handed to you on a damn plate....

                                            Comment

                                            • Spunky
                                              I need a beer
                                              • Jun 2002
                                              • 133986

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by Mr Pheer
                                              I'm giving it to Bert right in his Mandingo ass...

                                              It's seriously the best thing to come around in a long time. Took me a few days to notice the change, then a couple more Mandingo, then I was like holy fuckin shit this is amazing...

                                              So did Bert fuck you? Or did you bend him over a chair and ram it up his ass like I did?
                                              I knew you were a homo and this proves it.

                                              Comment

                                              • Mr Pheer
                                                So Fucking Banned
                                                • Dec 2002
                                                • 22083

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by Spunky
                                                I knew you were a homo and this proves it.
                                                Go tell everyone in the empty forum.

                                                Comment

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