friends and family finding out what you do...

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  • xenigo
    Confirmed User
    • Jan 2001
    • 8067

    #1

    friends and family finding out what you do...

    The post about the business fucking up your marriage got me thinking... and this is something that's affected me personally. What the hell is up with people we know, as friends or associates, thinking all people in the adult biz are some kind of freaks? Or somehow bad people because of what we do? I mean, it's a fucking business... we do it to make money. There's no motivation I have besides that, and anyone that thinks otherwize is severely mistaken. I'm not out shooting pictures of chicks, or guys for that matter, for my personal excitement. So why's everyone gotta think I'm some kind of a freak / weirdo / or an otherwise bad person for doing it?

    It happend with the relationship I had with my ex-girlfriend. Her parents somehow found out what I did, through her brother, and thought he was doing the family some kind of benefit by informing them of my "immoral" business practices. Her parents almost immediately did a 180, and thought that we just weren't right for eachother. How convenient. Give me a fucking break! And then there's her friends. Ok, so I guess one of them was cool with it, but this person told a close friend of her's and suddenly their whole attitude towards me completely changes. It changed to the tone that I'm some kind of bad, evil person. Now they won't even answer their phone if I call them.

    And then there was this chick online who I was chatting with, she read my profile and it said something funny about me being a pornographer. Her next message was "I just read your profile, and now I'm going to block you." Seriously, what the hell is it about being a pornographer that somehow scares people away? What about it makes me a bad person?

    Could it be that I'm just not understanding why society is so paranoid about this, or could it be that people don't understand it's an actual business and they think I'm just doing it for my jollies?
  • BigFrog
    Confirmed User
    • Sep 2002
    • 2057

    #2
    i do it for 'jollies'
    what the hell is wrong with that?

    your girlfriends parents found out? big deal.

    my parents found out and they kicked me out of the house.
    still, big freaking deal.

    if you dont love your work, then stop doing it.

    Comment

    • xenigo
      Confirmed User
      • Jan 2001
      • 8067

      #3
      I'm not saying I don't love my work, I most certainly do... but I'm wondering why there's this huge social stigma around our business that says that we're somehow bad people. I'm wondering how me doing porn somehow makes me a bad person in the eyes of most of society...

      Comment

      • Shoplifter
        Richest man in Babylon
        • Jan 2002
        • 5846

        #4
        Never tell anyone what you do. It will only come back to haunt you.

        Comment

        • PimpRoll
          Confirmed User
          • Apr 2003
          • 1053

          #5
          Go here:

          http://www.templatemonster.com

          By an mainstream template and a domain that goes along with it.

          Load it up with a bunch of techy mumbo jumbo, throw it all up at your host and then tell people you work there

          Comment

          • jasonir
            Confirmed User
            • Aug 2002
            • 1887

            #6
            Some people see it as exploiting women. I wonder what they think of the gay porn industry....
            ICQ: 61689996

            Comment

            • AaronM
              GFY Royality ;)
              • Oct 2001
              • 46923

              #7
              Society is fucked. They all talk shit about us and then go home and join our sites.

              Fucking hypocrites.

              Here is how I have handled this in the past...

              On more than one occasion I have been at a friend or family members house when somebody mentioned what I do. People seemed to be offended and after I sat there and listened to what they had to say, I went straight to their computers and reviewed their bookmarks, history, and temp Internet files. One if the family members that especially had a problem with it is a youth minister.

              Guess what I have found every time I have done this?

              PORN!

              All of a sudden they decide it is time to change the subject. If I was using my brain, I would cross sell them Internet Eraser and make a few bucks off the pretentious fuckers at the same time.

              Comment

              • bristol
                Registered User
                • Dec 2002
                • 61

                #8
                in the words of jim young from boiler room..

                fuck them, fuck'em!

                parents dont like the life you lead? fuck you mom and dad..

                see how it feels when you're making their fucking lexus payments..

                Comment

                • xenigo
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2001
                  • 8067

                  #9
                  Originally posted by PimpRoll
                  Go here:

                  http://www.templatemonster.com

                  By an mainstream template and a domain that goes along with it.

                  Load it up with a bunch of techy mumbo jumbo, throw it all up at your host and then tell people you work there
                  HAAHAHAHAHAHA, shit that's good... very good

                  Comment

                  • escorpio
                    King of Canada
                    • Oct 2002
                    • 23487

                    #10
                    Originally posted by AaronM
                    Society is fucked. They all talk shit about us and then go home and join our sites.

                    Fucking hypocrites.

                    Here is how I have handled this in the past...

                    On more than one occasion I have been at a friend or family members house when somebody mentioned what I do. People seemed to be offended and after I sat there and listened to what they had to say, I went straight to their computers and reviewed their bookmarks, history, and temp Internet files. One if the family members that especially had a problem with it is a youth minister.

                    Guess what I have found every time I have done this?

                    PORN!

                    All of a sudden they decide it is time to change the subject. If I was using my brain, I would cross sell them Internet Eraser and make a few bucks off the pretentious fuckers at the same time.
                    sweet
                    Unvaxxed, still alive.

                    Comment

                    • pornJester
                      Confirmed User
                      • Mar 2001
                      • 6138

                      #11
                      besides the immorality, there's no money in this business, get out while you still have friends and a shirt on your back


                      FreshBucks | Webmaster Vault | GayAW
                      Trusted Names in Adult.
                      ICQ 9157.3698

                      Comment

                      • Angelonfire

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Shoplifter
                        Never tell anyone what you do. It will only come back to haunt you.

                        Damnn right this thread had me thinking !!

                        I am a nurse and a mom I have a life outside this buisnss ... Some poeple can't understand,, they judge big time...

                        For now and maybe forever lolol I'm not telling my friends or family .... I'm jsut dealing and talking with poeple in the biz...

                        goood thread !

                        Comment

                        • xenigo
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jan 2001
                          • 8067

                          #13
                          Originally posted by jasonir
                          Some people see it as exploiting women. I wonder what they think of the gay porn industry....
                          Yes, I see. But this is what I JUST DON'T GET!! How is it exploiting women?? If I post an ad in the paper saying "Attractive females needed for nude website" and they call ME, how exactly is that exploiting THEM? Wouldn't they be exploiting themselves??

                          I think people need to take a reality check and realize pornographers are not kidnapping hot chicks and forcing them to pose nude for our websites. The only people doing the exploiting are the women themeslves.

                          It's pretty fucked up to think society just wants to blame us for being immoral, when we're not exploiting anyone, and get this, we exist for a reason! The most we're guilty of is exploiting the market, and capitalizing where there's money to be made. Isn't this what America is about?

                          Comment

                          • Paul Markham
                            Too old to care
                            • Jun 2001
                            • 52942

                            #14
                            Aaron, you are so right. They shoot us down then jerk off to our produce.

                            I'm in this business for the money, the fun and the totty. How else would I get to marry such a great woman.



                            One of my family is a Royal Marine Commando, he was in Afghanistan and Iraq shooting people. The family are proud of him, some of them are not so proud of me. I shoot naked girls!!!!!!



                            Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500.
                            PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

                            Comment

                            • pornJester
                              Confirmed User
                              • Mar 2001
                              • 6138

                              #15
                              In my experience, anyone who judges you is jealous big time. Jealous that you make more money than them, jealous that you have more free time than them, jealous that you enjoy what you do.

                              The only group of people who judge you for reasons other than jealousy are paranoid people with kids. They think it's your goal to turn their kids into sex/porn freaks... so they keep them away from you.


                              FreshBucks | Webmaster Vault | GayAW
                              Trusted Names in Adult.
                              ICQ 9157.3698

                              Comment

                              • escorpio
                                King of Canada
                                • Oct 2002
                                • 23487

                                #16
                                Porn exploits MEN and their biological urge to bust a nut.
                                Unvaxxed, still alive.

                                Comment

                                • jasonir
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Aug 2002
                                  • 1887

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by xenigo


                                  Yes, I see. But this is what I JUST DON'T GET!! ...

                                  I guess they need someone to blame. Porn webmasters are scapegoats.

                                  Society needs to get real.
                                  ICQ: 61689996

                                  Comment

                                  • gruffy
                                    So Fucking Banned
                                    • Feb 2003
                                    • 776

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Shoplifter
                                    Never tell anyone what you do. It will only come back to haunt you.

                                    Amen to that.. if your at a party say webhost or web designer.. or mutter "consultant" under your breath.

                                    Comment

                                    • AaronM
                                      GFY Royality ;)
                                      • Oct 2001
                                      • 46923

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by charly
                                      Aaron, you are so right. They shoot us down then jerk off to our produce.

                                      I'm in this business for the money, the fun and the totty. How else would I get to marry such a great woman.
                                      I thought you got her through one of the mail order services?

                                      Comment

                                      • smack
                                        Push Porn Like Weight.
                                        • Mar 2002
                                        • 10652

                                        #20
                                        it's just some people. they have sticks up their ass. fuck them. the reasons i do this job are simple. it makes money. and where else can you have a conversation about cum facials and anal fistings and consider is buisness. it's hilarious! i mean sure some people might think it's wrong, but fuck them. alot of girls will actually find it a turn on. guess it plays in with a bad boy image or some shit. i always love the look on peoples face. hehe.

                                        "you sell porn? are you like a pornstar or something"

                                        "no sorry, there's a couple more jobs in the porn industry besides stunt cock."

                                        higher paying too.
                                        Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

                                        Comment

                                        • AaronM
                                          GFY Royality ;)
                                          • Oct 2001
                                          • 46923

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by gruffy



                                          Amen to that.. if your at a party say webhost or web designer.. or mutter "consultant" under your breath.
                                          Or do what I do...Hand them a business card that say "Pornographer" on it.

                                          Fuck em.

                                          Comment

                                          • SureFire
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Jan 2003
                                            • 4398

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by AaronM


                                            Or do what I do...Hand them a business card that say "Pornographer" on it.

                                            Fuck em.

                                            Comment

                                            • gruffy
                                              So Fucking Banned
                                              • Feb 2003
                                              • 776

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by AaronM


                                              Or do what I do...Hand them a business card that say "Pornographer" on it.

                                              Fuck em.

                                              that reminds me.. whats the deal on ampcontent ? I wanna have a look at your panty-related content if you have any.

                                              Comment

                                              • AaronM
                                                GFY Royality ;)
                                                • Oct 2001
                                                • 46923

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by gruffy



                                                that reminds me.. whats the deal on ampcontent ? I wanna have a look at your panty-related content if you have any.
                                                I have lots. Feel free to look.

                                                Comment

                                                • gruffy
                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                  • Feb 2003
                                                  • 776

                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by AaronM


                                                  I have lots. Feel free to look.

                                                  "You are not authorized to view this page"


                                                  A little heavy handed with the banning?

                                                  Comment

                                                  • AaronM
                                                    GFY Royality ;)
                                                    • Oct 2001
                                                    • 46923

                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by gruffy



                                                    "You are not authorized to view this page"


                                                    A little heavy handed with the banning?
                                                    Odd, It works for me. Anybody else having this problem getting to http://www.ampcontent.com ?

                                                    Comment

                                                    • gruffy
                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                      • Feb 2003
                                                      • 776

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by AaronM


                                                      Odd, It works for me. Anybody else having this problem getting to http://www.ampcontent.com ?

                                                      cool - is working now.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • StupidFuckingWhore
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Apr 2003
                                                        • 233

                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by AaronM
                                                        On more than one occasion I have been at a friend or family members house when somebody mentioned what I do. People seemed to be offended and after I sat there and listened to what they had to say, I went straight to their computers and reviewed their bookmarks, history, and temp Internet files. One if the family members that especially had a problem with it is a youth minister.

                                                        Guess what I have found every time I have done this?

                                                        PORN!

                                                        All of a sudden they decide it is time to change the subject. If I was using my brain, I would cross sell them Internet Eraser and make a few bucks off the pretentious fuckers at the same time.
                                                        hahahaha, i love this idea, i think i'll have to use it if this ever comes up. before i got into it i told my parents what i was goin to do, since i knew they would find out anyhow and i needed their computer to get started since i was only 20 at the time and still lived at home. my dad was cool with it, he didn't mind at all, but my mom was dead against it, she is very religious and was worried about ppl finding out and just the so called 'immorality' of it. but i did it anyhow and once i started making some good coin she minded less and less, now she sees that its mostly business and not that much to do with porn at all, i just do sites, i don't shoot girls or anything.

                                                        i told a couple of my friends in confiedence tho, big mistake, i live in a small town of 4000 ppl and within the week the gas station attendant knew about it and commented on how i should be driving a lexus or something lol. the only thing that bugs me is who women view it, they always assume its some horrible, or think im naked on theses sites lol. ppl need to relax but i haven't had it near as bad as some of you guys, breaking a marriage because of it, thats harsh.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Peter Romero
                                                          Long time no happy ending
                                                          • Feb 2003
                                                          • 10602

                                                          #29
                                                          Guilt... a useless emotion.

                                                          My Mom RIP - knew I'd never starve.
                                                          My Step-Dad is a huge fan of mine.
                                                          My bro don't care unless I miss a fishing trip for work.
                                                          My nieces love presents from thier rich uncle.
                                                          My friends think I'm a god!!!
                                                          My God doesn't judge me.

                                                          Fuck everyone else!


                                                          [email protected]

                                                          See them all here: https://www.Petergirls.com

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Paul Markham
                                                            Too old to care
                                                            • Jun 2001
                                                            • 52942

                                                            #30
                                                            Originally posted by AaronM


                                                            I thought you got her through one of the mail order services?
                                                            Your right but it's an exclusive service to old pervy pornographers.



                                                            Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500.
                                                            PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Peter Romero
                                                              Long time no happy ending
                                                              • Feb 2003
                                                              • 10602

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by charly
                                                              Aaron, you are so right. They shoot us down then jerk off to our produce.

                                                              I'm in this business for the money, the fun and the totty. How else would I get to marry such a great woman.



                                                              One of my family is a Royal Marine Commando, he was in Afghanistan and Iraq shooting people. The family are proud of him, some of them are not so proud of me. I shoot naked girls!!!!!!
                                                              Charlie,
                                                              You are my Mentor!!! You RULE!!!


                                                              [email protected]

                                                              See them all here: https://www.Petergirls.com

                                                              Comment

                                                              • Carlito
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • Dec 2001
                                                                • 856

                                                                #32
                                                                Originally posted by xenigo


                                                                HAAHAHAHAHAHA, shit that's good... very good


                                                                I did this long ago... www.newriot.net - my GF don`t even know about porn, but when we move to Hawaii this year... she is going to be reminded that porn paid her ass there.

                                                                Comment

                                                                • newbiewebmistress
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Jan 2003
                                                                  • 162

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Originally posted by AaronM
                                                                  ...

                                                                  On more than one occasion I have been at a friend or family members house when somebody mentioned what I do. People seemed to be offended and after I sat there and listened to what they had to say, I went straight to their computers and reviewed their bookmarks, history, and temp Internet files. One if the family members that especially had a problem with it is a youth minister.

                                                                  Guess what I have found every time I have done this?

                                                                  PORN!

                                                                  DAAMMMN! YOU HAVE BALLS!!
                                                                  They pay $1 buck for every free email you give away...it's supposed to convert well on tgp...they say


                                                                  "The reason I haven't made a cent is because I dream too much"

                                                                  Comment

                                                                  • newbiewebmistress
                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                    • Jan 2003
                                                                    • 162

                                                                    #34
                                                                    Originally posted by Carlito




                                                                    I did this long ago... www.newriot.net - my GF don`t even know about porn, but when we move to Hawaii this year... she is going to be reminded that porn paid her ass there.

                                                                    THEY MUST HAVE GOTTEN THE SAME IDEA! LOL!
                                                                    They MUST be in porn lol...



                                                                    From Charly...
                                                                    "One of my family is a Royal Marine Commando, he was in Afghanistan and Iraq shooting people. The family are proud of him, some of them are not so proud of me. I shoot naked girls!!!!!!"

                                                                    To charly---Lmao
                                                                    They pay $1 buck for every free email you give away...it's supposed to convert well on tgp...they say


                                                                    "The reason I haven't made a cent is because I dream too much"

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • newbiewebmistress
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Jan 2003
                                                                      • 162

                                                                      #35
                                                                      To xenigo,


                                                                      You think you get pressure and judged, can you imagine what the girls and guys who are actually posing is getting? I wonder if they only associate with those in the business or those who can accept.
                                                                      Because, their faces probably get recognized and it's not easy to say 'no mom, I don't do porn' with a file of hundreds of photo shoots.
                                                                      They must have it TOUGH.


                                                                      I haven't dealt with this yet. But, I have 3 theories for this.
                                                                      1.) I think that most people have a mentality that women are forced to do things. Of course it isn't true, but especially fellow ladies, they see the drunk college girls on camera and think, 'it's so sad that he got her on camera when she was drunk.' and they assume the same thing with the porn sites. They assume, it's sad that the photographer/webmaster, etc... took advantage of her. Why? Because 9 times out of 10, if you ask a stripper, why she strips, she will say that it was the only way to make money or to pay for college or something that makes you think 'how sad, that she HAD no choice but to do this'.
                                                                      So, when people judge, they probably just ASSume that you talked some 'poor naive chic into taking off her clothes for $20 bucks'.

                                                                      2.) Just plain ignorance. They think porn is associated with bad men who kidnap kids. They don't know that Most Webmasters and people who produce porn keep it legal and don't do gross illegal things to make money.

                                                                      3.) Un-popularity by association, they get scared that if they don't act offended and distance themselves from you, that one day others will connect them to porn.

                                                                      Anyway, maybe that's not it, but that's what I make out of it. OR, they're just jealous assholes.

                                                                      Think about it, if there was no one creating the porn/pornsites/magazines/etc... those people who are so 'offended' would be jacking off to every short skirt that walked in a burger joint. So, it's really a favor being done to them. They get to be in the closet 'perverts'.



                                                                      This is my last post on this thread for now.
                                                                      They pay $1 buck for every free email you give away...it's supposed to convert well on tgp...they say


                                                                      "The reason I haven't made a cent is because I dream too much"

                                                                      Comment

                                                                      • a1ka1ine
                                                                        Confirmed User
                                                                        • Apr 2002
                                                                        • 3387

                                                                        #36
                                                                        Originally posted by xenigo
                                                                        And then there was this chick online who I was chatting with, she read my profile and it said something funny about me being a pornographer. Her next message was "I just read your profile, and now I'm going to block you." Seriously, what the hell is it about being a pornographer that somehow scares people away? What about it makes me a bad person?
                                                                        i just got real close with a very nice girl who said she was "falling in love" with me, who I then got a text message after she had spoken to her "friend" who said that she shouldnt see me as I am such a terrible person to be involved in this kind of thing.

                                                                        but.. dont worry dude, its a good way to ween out the crap, if they dont like you because of what you do - were they really that good a relationship choice anyway?

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • KRL
                                                                          Entrepreneur
                                                                          • Oct 2002
                                                                          • 31429

                                                                          #37
                                                                          Its a real dilema for many of us that have significant mainstream business investments in addition to our adult "fun" businesses.

                                                                          Some people I deal with know, and are intrigued when we talk about it at get togethers, but many people I deal with on the public mainstream stuff I own have no idea and would flip out probably if they knew.

                                                                          My mother is nearly 70 years old, and still rags me about it, with comments like "I can't believe my little son is a pornagrapher." Even though we paid off her frickin mortgage years ago with porn dough.

                                                                          I always tell girls now upfront to be sure they don't have a problem with it and my ex-wife was cool with it since she was a Playboy model herself.

                                                                          I always cringe at family get togethers though when someone blurts out so how's the porno biz these days.
                                                                          If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor
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                                                                          Comment

                                                                          • xenigo
                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                            • Jan 2001
                                                                            • 8067

                                                                            #38
                                                                            Originally posted by KRL

                                                                            I always cringe at family get togethers though when someone blurts out so how's the porno biz these days.
                                                                            Yeah, I've sure been there... my ex-girlfriend just last week told my mom "so, did Noah tell you the news?" Referring to my new studio... which my mom didn't even know I had... she knows I do porn sites, but she just doesn't know I'm SHOOTING the porn now. So all of the next day I had to deal with comments like "so Noah, what's the news??" Uhhh... I guess my girlfriend just assumes that since I do it, my family must think it's alright... or something...

                                                                            Comment

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