The Truth About Showering

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  • Rictor
    Old Timer
    • Jan 2001
    • 12208

    #1

    The Truth About Showering

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note-must do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm
    cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and
    Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's
    clean.
    7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit
    Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avacado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen
    minutes.
    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot
    facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
    9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger
    Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
    10.Rinse conditioner off hair (you must
    make sure that it has all come off).
    11.Shave armpits and legs. Consider
    shaving bikini area but decide to get it
    waxed instead.
    12.Scream loudly when your husband flushed
    the toilet and you lose the water
    pressure.
    13.Turn off shower.
    14.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    15.Get out of shower. Dry with towel the
    size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
    16.Check entire body for the remotest sign
    of a zit, tweeze hairs.
    17.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing
    gown and towel on head.
    18.If you see your husband along the way,
    cover up any exposed areas and then
    sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a
    half getting dressed.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the
    edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see
    your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo" sound.
    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror
    and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
    4. Get in the shower.
    5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth
    (you don't use one).
    6. Wash your face.
    7. Wash your armpits.
    8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let
    the water just rinse it off.
    9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds
    in the shower.
    10.Majority of time is spent washing your
    privates and surrounding area.
    11.Wash your butt, leaving those coarse
    butt hairs on the soap bar.
    12.Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner)
    13.Make a shampoo Mohawk.
    14.Peek out of shower curtain to look at
    yourself in the mirror again.
    15.Pee (in the shower).
    16.Rinse off and get out of the shower.
    Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
    17.Partially dry off.
    18.Look at yourself in the mirror, flex
    muscles. Admire wiener size again.
    19.Leave shower curtain open and wet bath
    mat on the floor.
    20.Leave bathroom fan and light on.
    21.Return to the bedroom with towel around
    your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
    22.Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2
    minutes to get dressed.

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  • blakkfrogg
    Confirmed User
    • Jan 2001
    • 582

    #2
    Showering is for wussies.

    Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. Just remember to go outside, that's all.

    ------------------
    I shot the sheriff... but the fucking deputy got away.
    - Blakk Frogg

    * Blakk Frogg Sex Blog
    * * Wyldsites Sex Blogs
    * * * Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

    So anyways, this Frogg is looking for smaller traffic trades. Trying to get back into the swing of things, ya' know?

    Comment

    • Jamdin
      Registered User
      • Jan 2001
      • 3560

      #3
      LOL but you forgot the jack off while the stream of water is hitting your weiner & seeing how far you shoot your load.

      ------------------
      Moongem Erotica Moongem Fiction

      Comment

      • Rictor
        Old Timer
        • Jan 2001
        • 12208

        #4
        Ack! Too much info Jamdin...

        ------------------
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        Comment

        • slavdogg
          Confirmed User
          • Jan 2001
          • 3570

          #5
          stupid human fact:

          Did you guys know Joh Holmes didnt take showers? He hated it.
          Adult Traffic for Sale

          Comment

          • Techie Media
            Confirmed User
            • Jan 2001
            • 3092

            #6
            Slavdog, look where that got him

            ------------------
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            http://www.lightningfree.com


            sales [AT] techiemedia.com

            Comment

            • Scraper
              Confirmed User
              • Jan 2001
              • 182

              #7
              Hehe.
              Yeah but Jamdin, you forgot the bit where you draw a target on the wall with your wife's lipstick.

              So when you shoot your load, you have something to aim for!

              Comment

              • Jamdin
                Registered User
                • Jan 2001
                • 3560

                #8
                Nope, I didn't forget since I don't have a wife...

                Comment

                • Rictor
                  Old Timer
                  • Jan 2001
                  • 12208

                  #9
                  Use your boyfriend's lipstick then jamdin.

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                  Comment

                  • Jamdin
                    Registered User
                    • Jan 2001
                    • 3560

                    #10
                    Nope, don't have a boyfriend either

                    Comment

                    • pipeking
                      So Fucking Banned
                      • Nov 2003
                      • 121

                      #11
                      Bump. ;)

                      Comment

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