I write from immigration detention knowing I am one of Donald Trump's priorities for deportation.
I saw his election on the television here in the jail. The officers here celebrated. They told us to give up on our cases because Trump was finally going to deport us. I cannot sleep because I think I will be separated from my three children who I love.
I want to share my story because Trump says he is going to deport people like me. He's called people like me criminals because I have a drug possession conviction and three DUIs. But I carry so much pain. I am a survivor of a lot of abuse.
I came to the United States at the age of 4. I grew up and graduated high school in Santa Rosa.
After high school, my life became very painful. For almost 20 years I was physically and sexually abused by men, including the father of my children. I internalized my abuse, thinking it was my fault. I felt alone with no one to turn to.
Isolated, I had to find a way to numb my emotions and hide my pain. I turned to alcohol and drugs. When my partners hit me or raped me, I self-medicated. When I had a miscarriage because I was physically abused, I self-medicated. This is how I got my drug offense and DUIs. I was at a low point in my life.
Do I have remorse for the mistakes I've made? Of course. But after my third DUI, I said enough and decided to make a change in my life for my three children. I checked myself into a three-month in-patient program made specifically for women like me who suffered abuse. There I learned how to treat my addiction.
I am proud to say that I have been sober since then. I also learned what it means to be a survivor of domestic violence. My treatment has introduced me to a community of survivors.
The sad thing of my detention is that right when I was turning my life around, immigration decided to detain me and take me away from my children.
For the first time in my adult life, I had broken the cycle of abuse and found support. But immigration did not care. In court, the government lawyer blamed me for my own abuse. I felt naked having to explain why I hurt so much.
I could not stop crying because the government said I only cared about myself. That hurt because I've changed for my children. My children are the only ones I care about. But there is a story of pain behind all this and the government and Trump do not understand.
I'm lucky that over 25 organizations of domestic violence survivors are writing a letter to the government asking to meet because of the government lawyer who treated me so badly in court.
My symptoms from my abuse have returned here in detention. I feel alone and isolated. I am depressed and I cannot sleep. I wish for nobody to go through what I've been through.
It's difficult to stay hopeful inside detention. My strength comes from my three children who I love and miss, my mother, and my sisters who continue to fight for me. My family gives me just enough strength to keep my head up inside these walls.
Inside, that's all we have left, memories of our families on the outside and hope that those on the outside do not forget about us, even if we are "criminals."
article...
I saw his election on the television here in the jail. The officers here celebrated. They told us to give up on our cases because Trump was finally going to deport us. I cannot sleep because I think I will be separated from my three children who I love.
I want to share my story because Trump says he is going to deport people like me. He's called people like me criminals because I have a drug possession conviction and three DUIs. But I carry so much pain. I am a survivor of a lot of abuse.
I came to the United States at the age of 4. I grew up and graduated high school in Santa Rosa.
After high school, my life became very painful. For almost 20 years I was physically and sexually abused by men, including the father of my children. I internalized my abuse, thinking it was my fault. I felt alone with no one to turn to.
Isolated, I had to find a way to numb my emotions and hide my pain. I turned to alcohol and drugs. When my partners hit me or raped me, I self-medicated. When I had a miscarriage because I was physically abused, I self-medicated. This is how I got my drug offense and DUIs. I was at a low point in my life.
Do I have remorse for the mistakes I've made? Of course. But after my third DUI, I said enough and decided to make a change in my life for my three children. I checked myself into a three-month in-patient program made specifically for women like me who suffered abuse. There I learned how to treat my addiction.
I am proud to say that I have been sober since then. I also learned what it means to be a survivor of domestic violence. My treatment has introduced me to a community of survivors.
The sad thing of my detention is that right when I was turning my life around, immigration decided to detain me and take me away from my children.
For the first time in my adult life, I had broken the cycle of abuse and found support. But immigration did not care. In court, the government lawyer blamed me for my own abuse. I felt naked having to explain why I hurt so much.
I could not stop crying because the government said I only cared about myself. That hurt because I've changed for my children. My children are the only ones I care about. But there is a story of pain behind all this and the government and Trump do not understand.
I'm lucky that over 25 organizations of domestic violence survivors are writing a letter to the government asking to meet because of the government lawyer who treated me so badly in court.
My symptoms from my abuse have returned here in detention. I feel alone and isolated. I am depressed and I cannot sleep. I wish for nobody to go through what I've been through.
It's difficult to stay hopeful inside detention. My strength comes from my three children who I love and miss, my mother, and my sisters who continue to fight for me. My family gives me just enough strength to keep my head up inside these walls.
Inside, that's all we have left, memories of our families on the outside and hope that those on the outside do not forget about us, even if we are "criminals."
article...
There is a term for that, letting an illegal use your SS# to get that benifit, can't think of it right now.
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