Archaeologist Finds 12,000 Year Old Magazine From Atlantis - GoFuckYourself.com

Jak · 04-05-2003, 09:31 AM

New York

A leading archaeologist claims to have found a glossy, 48-page magazine that was published on the Lost Continent of Atlantis in 10,000 B.C. -- thousands of years before the ancient Egyptians figured out how to scratch crude hieroglyphic "pictographs" on crumbly papyrus scrolls!

In a letter to the prestigious Antiquities Review journal, Dr. Kenton Croler says The Atlantean Star-Sun was "lushly produced for an audience of highly educated readers" and "provides tempting clues" to suggest America's own Indians are direct descendants of the advanced civilization.

He also drew chilling parallels between our modern war on terror and events that may have led to the collapse of Atlantis, which appears to have been reeling under a series of strikes by Al Qaeda-like terrorists armed with a nightmarish array of nuclear, chemical, biological and "magnetic" weapons, one of which "appears to have disrupted all but the most primitive and violent urges of the human brain."

And that's not all. Croler, who found the near-perfectly preserved periodical sealed in a bronze urn, says the magazine dated "Lunar Cycle 62,998" contains a treasure trove of news items, features, hand-drawn images, cartoons and advertisements that provide a fascinating sneak peek into daily life on the Lost Continent, including:

A report on the most dangerous "flyway" on the Continent -- and the 264 hover-vehicle accidents that helped "Air Route 12" lay claim to the title.
An advertisement for a "holographic television receiver" that, instead of relying on "old-fashioned screen technology" such as we use today, projected three-dimensional images into the center of a home theater, enabling viewers to "walk around" actors and entertainers and even "see them from behind."
A humorous drawing and short article on the magazine's search for the Lost Continent's fattest snakes and rats, which appear to have been revered as living gods in some quarters.
An expose on hidden design flaws in the government's new "citizen transport tubes" that, it was alleged, were "ripping the heads off children" and "other people of short stature."
A somewhat cryptic and possibly threatening appeal for more citizens to voluntarily undergo "brain-chip surgery" to link them to the "central library" before "we have to do it for you."
A call for a ban on dangerous "backyard reactors" that appear to have been in wide use by homeowners who were hoping to reduce their power bills.
A "health page" touting medical breakthroughs, including the development of a cure for male-pattern baldness that testing had shown to be equally effective as a "morning after" abortion pill and topical treatment for eczema.
A classifieds page selling everything from collectibles and fishing equipment to human infants, boats and at least 50 different varieties of narcotic and hallucinogenic drugs and beverages.

"What I find so intriguing," the Washington-based Croler said in his letter to the journal, "is that the magazine not only gives use a glimpse into the past, it also presents us with some rather unsavory implications for our future.

"The parallels between terrorist activity then and terrorist activity now are quite clear, as are the lessons to be learned: If terrorists destroyed the greatest civilization the world has ever known, they can destroy us, too."

Croler plans to publish a comprehensive report on the magazine, which sophisticated dating techniques confirm is between 11,500 and 12,000 years old, by late summer.

In the meantime, he says early research indicates the periodical was written in what appears to have been a lost "but fairly easy to translate" Native American dialect based on an alphabet far more advanced than the crude "picture writing" Indians were using when Europeans arrived in the New World in the 15th century.

"The suggestion is that with the collapse of Atlantis, survivors made their way to what we now call the United States."

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030321/104825880007.html

04-05-2003, 09:31 AM

ancient Penthouse?

Sweeet.

gothweb · 04-05-2003, 09:33 AM

Isn't it funny what happens when Yahoo reprints the Weekly World News?

Jak · 04-05-2003, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by gothweb
Isn't it funny what happens when Yahoo reprints the Weekly World News?

shhhh... I want to see how many people ignore that part and spread this story just like the time travel one.

Fletch XXX · 04-05-2003, 10:42 AM

no friggin pic?

stocktrader23 · 04-05-2003, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jak

shhhh... I want to see how many people ignore that part and spread this story just like the time travel one.

Don't worry, they'll skip over any hint of common sense posted here and post it as the truth for the next 40 years.

AdultNex · 04-05-2003, 11:17 AM

You had me going there for a moment.

04-05-2003, 09:31 AM	#1
Jak So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: ripenedpeach.com Posts: 1,143	Archaeologist Finds 12,000 Year Old Magazine From Atlantis New York A leading archaeologist claims to have found a glossy, 48-page magazine that was published on the Lost Continent of Atlantis in 10,000 B.C. -- thousands of years before the ancient Egyptians figured out how to scratch crude hieroglyphic "pictographs" on crumbly papyrus scrolls! In a letter to the prestigious Antiquities Review journal, Dr. Kenton Croler says The Atlantean Star-Sun was "lushly produced for an audience of highly educated readers" and "provides tempting clues" to suggest America's own Indians are direct descendants of the advanced civilization. He also drew chilling parallels between our modern war on terror and events that may have led to the collapse of Atlantis, which appears to have been reeling under a series of strikes by Al Qaeda-like terrorists armed with a nightmarish array of nuclear, chemical, biological and "magnetic" weapons, one of which "appears to have disrupted all but the most primitive and violent urges of the human brain." And that's not all. Croler, who found the near-perfectly preserved periodical sealed in a bronze urn, says the magazine dated "Lunar Cycle 62,998" contains a treasure trove of news items, features, hand-drawn images, cartoons and advertisements that provide a fascinating sneak peek into daily life on the Lost Continent, including: A report on the most dangerous "flyway" on the Continent -- and the 264 hover-vehicle accidents that helped "Air Route 12" lay claim to the title. An advertisement for a "holographic television receiver" that, instead of relying on "old-fashioned screen technology" such as we use today, projected three-dimensional images into the center of a home theater, enabling viewers to "walk around" actors and entertainers and even "see them from behind." A humorous drawing and short article on the magazine's search for the Lost Continent's fattest snakes and rats, which appear to have been revered as living gods in some quarters. An expose on hidden design flaws in the government's new "citizen transport tubes" that, it was alleged, were "ripping the heads off children" and "other people of short stature." A somewhat cryptic and possibly threatening appeal for more citizens to voluntarily undergo "brain-chip surgery" to link them to the "central library" before "we have to do it for you." A call for a ban on dangerous "backyard reactors" that appear to have been in wide use by homeowners who were hoping to reduce their power bills. A "health page" touting medical breakthroughs, including the development of a cure for male-pattern baldness that testing had shown to be equally effective as a "morning after" abortion pill and topical treatment for eczema. A classifieds page selling everything from collectibles and fishing equipment to human infants, boats and at least 50 different varieties of narcotic and hallucinogenic drugs and beverages. "What I find so intriguing," the Washington-based Croler said in his letter to the journal, "is that the magazine not only gives use a glimpse into the past, it also presents us with some rather unsavory implications for our future. "The parallels between terrorist activity then and terrorist activity now are quite clear, as are the lessons to be learned: If terrorists destroyed the greatest civilization the world has ever known, they can destroy us, too." Croler plans to publish a comprehensive report on the magazine, which sophisticated dating techniques confirm is between 11,500 and 12,000 years old, by late summer. In the meantime, he says early research indicates the periodical was written in what appears to have been a lost "but fairly easy to translate" Native American dialect based on an alphabet far more advanced than the crude "picture writing" Indians were using when Europeans arrived in the New World in the 15th century. "The suggestion is that with the collapse of Atlantis, survivors made their way to what we now call the United States." http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030321/104825880007.html

04-05-2003, 09:33 AM	#3
gothweb Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Back in the USSA Posts: 8,849	Isn't it funny what happens when Yahoo reprints the Weekly World News? __________________ Photos by Ian X.: Distinctive photos of goth babes. Blood Money:Your traffic, my sites, our money. MojoHost: Still the best.

04-05-2003, 10:42 AM	#5
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	no friggin pic? __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

04-05-2003, 09:31 AM	#2
X37375787 Guest Posts: n/a	ancient Penthouse? Sweeet.

04-05-2003, 11:17 AM	#7
AdultNex Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bostonnnn Posts: 8,985	You had me going there for a moment.