New Office Vocabulary - Essential Reading - GoFuckYourself.com

HardProfits · 03-19-2003, 12:58 AM

Essential editions for the work place vocabulary.

BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there maybe cake, coffee and donuts

MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless paperwork and process.

404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. 'reply all')

CROP DUSTING
Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING

Dildozer · 03-19-2003, 01:05 AM

hahaha i'm a pro crop duster

foreverjason · 03-19-2003, 01:11 AM

Quote:

SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

Lol hilarous!

Tala · 03-19-2003, 01:12 AM

Eve · 03-31-2003, 06:20 PM

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

That's me...the friendly neighborhood unix admin...

MattO · 03-31-2003, 06:46 PM

I thought Prairie Dogging was when you gotta take a dump and it starts poking out.

03-19-2003, 12:58 AM	#1
HardProfits So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: BrizVegas Posts: 346	New Office Vocabulary - Essential Reading Essential editions for the work place vocabulary. BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. ASSMOSIS The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. SALMON DAY The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. CUBE FARM An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there maybe cake, coffee and donuts MOUSE POTATO The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. SITCOMs Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business". STRESS PUPPY A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney. XEROX SUBSIDY Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. ADMINISPHERE The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless paperwork and process. 404 Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. 'reply all') CROP DUSTING Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING

03-19-2003, 01:05 AM	#2
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	hahaha i'm a pro crop duster __________________ Spam link here

03-19-2003, 01:12 AM	#4
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

03-31-2003, 06:20 PM	#5
Eve Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Phoenix, Arizona Posts: 805	PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. That's me...the friendly neighborhood unix admin... __________________ I'm waiting for the Mr Fushion Fleshlight so I can wank my way back to the future!

03-31-2003, 06:46 PM	#6
MattO The O is for Oohhh Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: AUSTIN TEJAS Posts: 10,861	I thought Prairie Dogging was when you gotta take a dump and it starts poking out.