Beer vs. Pussy

This might be old but it bears repeating, I feel.


BEER vs. PUSSY: THE PLAY-OFF

1. Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work. - One point to BEER



2. Warm beer tastes awful. - One point to Pussy



3. A really cold beer is satisfying. - One point to BEER



4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between
your teeth, you may vomit. - One point to Pussy



5. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten Pussies in one
night and you don't want to drive anywhere. - One point to Pussy



6. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. - One point
to Pussy


7. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you
smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer. - One point to Pussy


8. You normally don't find old beer. - One point to BEER


9. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much Pussy
and you'll think you've seen God. - One point to PUSSY


10. In most countries there's a tax on beer. - One point to PUSSY


11. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off - One
point to BEER


12. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or
can. - One point to BEER


13. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles
down. - One point to BEER


14. You always know how much beer is going to cost - One point to BEER



15. Beer doesn't have a mother - One point to BEER


16. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drank it
- One point to BEER




FINAL SCORE: BEER 9
PUSSY 7


That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER


PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those
feelings, let alone express them. -An extra point for BEER