How do you tell your parents you're in the Adult Industry?

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  • Devious Angel
    Confirmed User
    • Nov 2015
    • 241
    #1

    How do you tell your parents you're in the Adult Industry?

    This has been a topic on my mind for a while and I talked to Andra, the PR Manager from Studio 20 about it, she asked me how I told my folks I'm a cam girl and such; she wrote an article about it , you can check it out here :
    Mom, dad, I?m a cam girl ! | AW News


    But what I wanted to ask you, cam people, porn people and people from this industry.. is it the same for all of you?
    How did you tell your families about this decision?
    Keep up with me at www.deviousangel.net
    Tags: None
    • john1975
      Confirmed User
      • Dec 2009
      • 981
      #2
      my advice, just keep it to yourself.

      the reason? Once their pissed off at you for any particular reason in the future..they'll hold this aspect over your head all the time.

      "at-least i'm not some sleezy porn star"

      junk like that....they'll say dumb stuff to pizz u off.

        Comment

        • Colmike9
          (>^_^)b
          • Dec 2011
          • 7217
          #3
          8-9 years ago my mom found out. She was kinda disappointed, until she saw my checks..
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            Comment

            • Spunky
              I need a beer
              • Jun 2002
              • 133978
              #4
              Internet marketing and start rambling on until it confuses them

                Comment

                • freecartoonporn
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2012
                  • 7683
                  #5
                  why do you feel the need to tell them ?

                  more you tell, more you need to explain.

                  nobody knows what i do, except couple of close friends.

                  Internet Marketing is what i tell ppl, if they want to know much more, i explain them how google adwords works. period./
                  SSD Cloud Server, VPS Server, Simple Cloud Hosting | DigitalOcean

                    Comment

                    • Klen
                      • Aug 2006
                      • 32234
                      #6
                      Originally posted by Colmike7
                      8-9 years ago my mom found out. She was kinda disappointed, until she saw my checks..
                      That remind me to following joke:
                      A daughter comes to the house and start talking with dad. When asked what she doing for living, she said how she works as prostitute. Dad start to scream, saying outraging and many other things, till daughter says:
                      Dad! What??? Replied Dad. Do you see that Mercedes parked outside? Yes. what with it?
                      It's your. And then Dad says, oh Prostitute i though you said Protestant

                        Comment

                        • TheDynasty
                          See Signature
                          • Apr 2016
                          • 5882
                          #7
                          Originally posted by KlenTelaris
                          That remind me to following joke:
                          A daughter comes to the house and start talking with dad. When asked what she doing for living, she said how she works as prostitute. Dad start to scream, saying outraging and many other things, till daughter says:
                          Dad! What??? Replied Dad. Do you see that Mercedes parked outside? Yes. what with it?
                          It's your. And then Dad says, oh Prostitute i though you said Protestant
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                            • Rochard
                              Jägermeister Test Pilot
                              • Dec 2001
                              • 75770
                              #8
                              Never had an issue with this really. Went to college for IT in California, and when I graduate the dot com bubble burst was in full swing and there was no jobs to be found. The only job offer I got was from Steve Lightspeed.

                              Don't really care what anyone things. My sister has found god (again) and isn't thrilled about it, but she's got multiple kids with multiple fathers so she should not be one to judge.
                              Herschel Savage
                              Brooklyn, NY

                                Comment

                                • C H R I S
                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                  • Nov 2005
                                  • 10842
                                  #9
                                  You work in internet marketing... most people wont ask anything else because they just don't understand.
                                  C H R I S
                                  Retired Porn Veteran

                                  BH4L

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                                    • CaptainHowdy
                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                      • Dec 2004
                                      • 94182
                                      #10
                                      If she became a cam-girl her parents probably don't care about her in the first place ...

                                        Comment

                                        • brassmonkey
                                          Pay It Forward
                                          • Sep 2005
                                          • 77390
                                          #11
                                          hold that shit in. LOL
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                                            • JesseQuinn
                                              feeding the wolves
                                              • Aug 2012
                                              • 6698
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Devious Angel
                                              But what I wanted to ask you, cam people, porn people and people from this industry.. is it the same for all of you?
                                              How did you tell your families about this decision?
                                              gracias for posting this topic cuz I sometimes forget that peeps on the non-performer end of things grapple with the same issues. big ups to everyone living life on their own terms

                                              I do think there's a slight extra issue when it comes to female performers though, if only because all of a sudden we're inhabiting the work of the conceptual 'other'. it is way more loaded to be on the talent end of things

                                              and that can be difficult to understand initially for peeps on the outside of our work.

                                              in terms of whether to disclose, how are you with your parents in general? are you able to be open about all elements of your life with them, or do you have to pick and choose what you share to maintain sanity on all sides?

                                              that I think should be the basis upon which you either choose to disclose or not (both are valid choices). Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is not give peeps more than they can handle. If you think in disclosing they'll flip and that it will cause damage to your relationship, don't go there.


                                              In terms of my choice, I had a lot of experience with breaking news even before I started camming/creating clips so wasn't a big deal to me. It was:

                                              hey mom and dad, I'm still a kid in high school but I'm moving out, here's my well-thought out plan

                                              hey mom and dad, I'm dropping out of high school but here's why and my well-thought out plan

                                              I did both (went to uni as a mature student when it was right for me), and they gritted their teeth and trusted and supported me through each choice even though they weren't exactly gung-ho with either at the time

                                              the step from that to, many moons later: hey mom and dad I'm becoming a cam girl wasn't much of a stretch, or an issue in any way.

                                              I told my mom far before my dad though, wanted to make sure I was committed to the work before laying that on him.

                                              He's proud of me too though. To this day he (wisely) won't visit my sites as my tits are all over them, but we've talked biz strategy and I know he respects my off cam work and the women I work with (which is his round about way of letting me know he's proud of that side of my work too)

                                              key thing there: well thought out plan. you can't drop a bomb without follow-up =)


                                              If you feel you parents would be open to learning about that side of your life, go for it, relaxed and confident and be prepared to answer questions.

                                              This will be new to them and their primary concern will be your mental and physical security. Be real about why you do the work and why it fits your life. Not to prove anything but just to share, so they can know as they wrap their heads around it why this work works for you. Really all they want is to know that we're safe and happy and financially protected.

                                              Wish you luck if you go there, if so let us know how it turns out
                                              throwing molotav cocktails at the precinct

                                                Comment

                                                • jbvryant
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Nov 2016
                                                  • 422
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by C H R I S
                                                  You work in internet marketing... most people wont ask anything else because they just don't understand.
                                                  Exactly and people will think of sometimes as a scam.
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                                                    • NALEM
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Nov 2010
                                                      • 3166
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by Devious Angel
                                                      This has been a topic on my mind for a while and I talked to Andra, the PR Manager from Studio 20 about it, she asked me how I told my folks I'm a cam girl and such; she wrote an article about it , you can check it out here :
                                                      Mom, dad, I?m a cam girl ! | AW News


                                                      But what I wanted to ask you, cam people, porn people and people from this industry.. is it the same for all of you?
                                                      How did you tell your families about this decision?
                                                      The social stigma is 1000% harder on females, regardless if you are in front of the camera or not.

                                                      If your a man, and you tell your father, he will experience mixed emotions, but in the end, he will likely be accepting, proud and even thinking, "that's my boy, he is living out many men's fantasy".

                                                      If your a female, and you tell your father, his emotions are clear. It's absolutely devastating.

                                                      #

                                                      My involvement with adult, as been strictly BTS, so coming out to family and friends was easy. Without hesitation or shame, I shared with them, everything that I do.
                                                      "The time men spend in trying to impress others they could spend in doing the things by which others would be impressed."

                                                        Comment

                                                        • ruff
                                                          I have a plan B
                                                          • Aug 2004
                                                          • 5499
                                                          #15
                                                          You say "I work in Internet Marketing". If they say "porn"? You say "I wish". Wink wink, nudge, nudge.
                                                          CryptoFeeds

                                                            Comment

                                                            • SpicyM
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Aug 2006
                                                              • 4579
                                                              #16
                                                              Both of my parents know I work in adult and they were OK with it when I told them. Most people watch porn (or watched in ther life time), those that bitch about it are hypocrites.
                                                              no sig, sorry

                                                                Comment

                                                                • INever
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Jan 2005
                                                                  • 4028
                                                                  #17
                                                                  My parents are happy as long as I'm not getting ass fucked by Max.
                                                                  I love Camdough

                                                                  airvpn

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                                                                    • Paul Markham
                                                                      Too old to care
                                                                      • Jun 2001
                                                                      • 52942
                                                                      #18
                                                                      I just told Mum I was shooting porn.



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                                                                        • Look Chang
                                                                          Voyeur
                                                                          • Sep 2010
                                                                          • 3697
                                                                          #19
                                                                          My family just knows me as a digital nomad...

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Bladewire
                                                                              StraightBro
                                                                              • Aug 2003
                                                                              • 56220
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by ruff
                                                                              You say "I work in Internet Marketing". If they say "porn"? You say "I wish". Wink wink, nudge, nudge.
                                                                              Hahaha good one!


                                                                              Skype: CallTomNow

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                                                                                • eric_wahlberg
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Dec 2015
                                                                                  • 614
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Definitely parents will be angry on first moment; especially Dad. But, if you tell politely they may give their acceptance.
                                                                                  Read Arabian Nights on your screen

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                                                                                    • Devious Angel
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Nov 2015
                                                                                      • 241
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by Paul Markham
                                                                                      I just told Mum I was shooting porn.
                                                                                      And what did she say?
                                                                                      Keep up with me at www.deviousangel.net

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • Gerco
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Nov 2005
                                                                                          • 2052
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by Colmike7
                                                                                          8-9 years ago my mom found out. She was kinda disappointed, until she saw my checks..
                                                                                          LOL!, same. Mine became my book keeper.
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                                                                                            • Jenny BongaCash
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Feb 2017
                                                                                              • 101
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Originally posted by ruff
                                                                                              You say "I work in Internet Marketing". If they say "porn"? You say "I wish". Wink wink, nudge, nudge.
                                                                                              This is my answer too. Letting people, who ask me about my job, find the convenient answer by themselves


                                                                                              Skype: [email protected] | ICQ: 715364425 | e-mail: [email protected]

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                                                                                                • j3rkules
                                                                                                  VIP
                                                                                                  • Jul 2013
                                                                                                  • 22101
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Originally posted by C H R I S
                                                                                                  You work in internet marketing... most people wont ask anything else because they just don't understand.
                                                                                                  Yes, exactly. You do not need to tell the whole truth.

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • PaperstreetWinston
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Jan 2014
                                                                                                      • 2604
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by KlenTelaris
                                                                                                      That remind me to following joke:
                                                                                                      A daughter comes to the house and start talking with dad. When asked what she doing for living, she said how she works as prostitute. Dad start to scream, saying outraging and many other things, till daughter says:
                                                                                                      Dad! What??? Replied Dad. Do you see that Mercedes parked outside? Yes. what with it?
                                                                                                      It's your. And then Dad says, oh Prostitute i though you said Protestant
                                                                                                      good one! hahahahaha
                                                                                                      Winston
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                                                                                                        • Relic
                                                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                                                          • 10294
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          They could care less

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • just a punk
                                                                                                              So fuckin' bored
                                                                                                              • Jun 2003
                                                                                                              • 32385
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Originally posted by Devious Angel
                                                                                                              How do you tell your parents you're in the Adult Industry?
                                                                                                              A cam girl is not a prostitute, so not a big deal IMHO. Course it's not something your parents could be proud of, but many jobs are much worse than yours. For example, we have a saying in Russia: it's better to have a daughter who is a wore than a son who is a cop.
                                                                                                              Obey the Cowgod

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • peter.clickpapa
                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                  • Nov 2016
                                                                                                                  • 189
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Same, told everyone I work in the digital media industry. They asked for details and I started talking about trafficking and other shit they wouldn't understand and they were like "ah, okay, thats something I dont understand, but you work in IT, fine". Problem solved :D

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • Klen
                                                                                                                      • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                      • 32234
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by peter.clickpapa
                                                                                                                      Same, told everyone I work in the digital media industry. They asked for details and I started talking about trafficking and other shit they wouldn't understand and they were like "ah, okay, thats something I dont understand, but you work in IT, fine". Problem solved :D
                                                                                                                      Things like ad networks , hosting, design and programming are still tech stuff even if your client are 100% adult.

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • NewNick
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Mar 2009
                                                                                                                          • 7239
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Originally posted by Devious Angel
                                                                                                                          How did you tell your families about this decision?
                                                                                                                          Send them a video..
                                                                                                                          .
                                                                                                                          "Americas Hitler" JD Vance.
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                                                                                                                            • Eliza Miller
                                                                                                                              Registered User
                                                                                                                              • Nov 2016
                                                                                                                              • 75
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Really good topic! In my case, I choose not to tell my parents. I think they won't understand and I don't really want to burst their bubble.
                                                                                                                              elizamiller.org

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                                                                                                                                • LetterTwenty7
                                                                                                                                  Porn SEO
                                                                                                                                  • Feb 2015
                                                                                                                                  • 1822
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Imagine if they would reply with WE ARE IN THE PORN INDUSTRY AS WELL...Thank God you told us first.
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                                                                                                                                    • bns666
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed Fetishist
                                                                                                                                      • Mar 2005
                                                                                                                                      • 11549
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      you just don't tell your parents anything...
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                                                                                                                                        • nico-t
                                                                                                                                          emperor of my world
                                                                                                                                          • Aug 2004
                                                                                                                                          • 29901
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          there are 2 categories in this thread that aren't alike in every way:

                                                                                                                                          - the women who do the craziest shit on cam or getting fucked in movies
                                                                                                                                          - the people who are affiliates, make sites, do marketing, design, etc.

                                                                                                                                          most people dont give a fuck about the second category when you mention you are doing it for porn sites. Some think its fun. Others think you must be ballin'. Parents generally don't mind as well.

                                                                                                                                          The first one however is completely different. Every orifice of your body is getting filled up on camera for the world to see. Of course you shouldn't tell your parents. You think dad is gonna be understanding? He'll think he has royally failed in raising you properly. Ask anyone on here that if they'd have a daughter, how they would feel about her getting fucked for money on camera... any parent who doesn't have a problem with it needs their head checked.

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • just a punk
                                                                                                                                              So fuckin' bored
                                                                                                                                              • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                              • 32385
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by nico-t
                                                                                                                                              Ask anyone on here that if they'd have a daughter, how they would feel about her getting fucked for money on camera... any parent who doesn't have a problem with it needs their head checked.
                                                                                                                                              Indeed and well said
                                                                                                                                              Obey the Cowgod

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                                                                                                                                                • john1975
                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                  • Dec 2009
                                                                                                                                                  • 981
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  nothings more of a turn-off to 'good' women if you tell them ur in the porn industry.

                                                                                                                                                  their conscious doesn't think about the amount of money ur making, they think about how many partners the person's had.

                                                                                                                                                  unless you tell them your strictly 'Live Cam' at home type of thing...then not so bad.

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • Casie Smith
                                                                                                                                                      Registered User
                                                                                                                                                      • Nov 2016
                                                                                                                                                      • 89
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Apart from the social stigma, because people are not ready to keep up with this industry, you should just tell them that after all it's a job like any other job out there
                                                                                                                                                      Casie Smith

                                                                                                                                                      www.casiesmith.com

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                                                                                                                                                        • yuu.design
                                                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                          • Mar 2006
                                                                                                                                                          • 25308
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          was not a big deal, they were super cool about that
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                                                                                                                                                            • SophyDavis
                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                              • Nov 2016
                                                                                                                                                              • 102
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              I totally disagree with all of you that said "keep it a secret". No!!! You should be able to be honest about what you do, it's not a crime, it's a normal job like any other (but it pays better haha). Honesty is the best in my opinion and it worked for me. I told my parents from the start that I want to be a cam model, even if I didn't know at the time exactly what that meant. They were terrified, they had a lot of questions that I didn't know the answer to. But when I found out and explained everything to them, they were supportive and they've been supporting me since.
                                                                                                                                                              Why live in fear, why not just enjoy what you do. What if they found out?? Wouldn't it be better to find out from you and not from anywhere else?? Isn't honesty the best policy???
                                                                                                                                                              Check out my site sophydavis.com

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                                                                                                                                                                • CaptainHowdy
                                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                  • Dec 2004
                                                                                                                                                                  • 94182
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by NewNick
                                                                                                                                                                  Send them a sexy video..
                                                                                                                                                                  .
                                                                                                                                                                  ...

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • The Porn Nerd
                                                                                                                                                                      Living The Dream
                                                                                                                                                                      • Jun 2009
                                                                                                                                                                      • 19806
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Simple: don't.
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                                                                                                                                                                        • Getfifi Robert
                                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2002
                                                                                                                                                                          • 105
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          I told my family after a while. They stopped complaining when I stopped borrowing money lol! The entire family knows now. They are pretty laid back. That was around 10 years ago. God I'm old!
                                                                                                                                                                          Robert Sons
                                                                                                                                                                          [email protected]
                                                                                                                                                                          www.getfifi.com
                                                                                                                                                                          Skype: getfifirobert

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                                                                                                                                                                            • lys11
                                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                              • Dec 2016
                                                                                                                                                                              • 289
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              It is more difficult for cam girls to hide it. They can be seen by friends....

                                                                                                                                                                              But when you work as an advertising specialist or a webmaster, friends and relatives can not even know about it at all.


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                                                                                                                                                                                • EthanJoy
                                                                                                                                                                                  Registered User
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Feb 2017
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 77
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  Your close ones should know because it's better to be open with them about what you and who you really are. If they accept your choice it means that they accept you as an individual.
                                                                                                                                                                                  It's also difficult for male cam models ...


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                                                                                                                                                                                    • 2MuchMark
                                                                                                                                                                                      Mark of 2Much.net
                                                                                                                                                                                      • Aug 2004
                                                                                                                                                                                      • 51196
                                                                                                                                                                                      #46
                                                                                                                                                                                      My mom found out about me when she read it in a newspaper. Ugh.

                                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

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