How to Murder Your Wife - By Arsewithclass

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • TheSquealer
    Mayor of Thneedville
    • Oct 2004
    • 26177

    #1

    Business How to Murder Your Wife - By Arsewithclass

    Sorry for the copy/paste.

    "8 years ago, I pulled off an incredible feat that few have gotten away with in this day and age. I murdered my wife. Don't believe me? Sounds unlikely? You think i'm too dumb to outwit the police? Haha!

    Thats the point.

    When I knew my wife was finally getting sick of my shit, I had to start thinking defensively about my relationship. Having worked hard in life and being the proud owner of a Soviet Lada car and a beautiful one room apartment overlooking a bustling industrial park and having a watch, I knew that if I didn't act to protect the assets which represent everything i am capable of and have done in life, I'd be left with nothing.

    After some thinking, I realized that being dumb is not a problem when you surround yourself with dumb people. Thats when I realized I could hide in plain site in the Adult Industry as I carried out my plan.

    What I managed to get away with still blows me away to think about it.

    Generally speaking, it went like this..

    Step 1) Convince my wife she's completely hot

    Step 2) Convince my wife the world wants to see her

    Step 3) Convince my wife that i can actually take a picture

    Step 4) Shoot as much content as humanly possible. Enough for updates for years.

    Step 5) Throw up a shitty site

    Step 6) Actively promote said shitty site to the cesspool of idiots which are in this business to legitimize it all.

    Step 7) Set up all the relevant social media accounts and actively promote them

    Step 8) Let her post and promote her site and establish a presence in the industry.

    Step 9) Take control of all her social media and forum accounts for "business reasons" as a "loving partner" or whatever you come up with.

    Step 10) Chloroform her, cut her body up in the bath tub and take the pieces out of the city and throw them into swamps, rivers, lakes and wherever they are unlikely to be found. Don't be afraid to get creative with this step. Play with it. Have fun with it.

    Step 11) Continue posting on forums and social media, facebook etc as the deceased wife to allay suspicious. Add friends periodically. Always send birthday wishes etc. Make it real. User her voice.

    Step 12) Keep updating content as "something we just shot this weekend. Post it on the forum as something just shot. Get creative and distract people by saying how hot she looks, how she's more beautiful than ever,... anything to maintain the narrative that its new and just happened and she's alive and well.

    And thats it.

    You can keep this shit up for years.

    Seriously.

    Years."
    .
    Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens.

    Rochard
  • Relic
    So Fucking Banned
    • Aug 2002
    • 10300

    #2
    The movement doesn't care , See sig

    Comment

    • dillonaire
      Confirmed User
      • May 2009
      • 1795

      #3
      Cool story, bro.
      .

      "Deja moo - The feeling you've heard this Bull before."

      Skype: jeffreydillon
      Email: [email protected]

      Comment

      • SilentKnight
        Megan Fox's fluffer
        • Oct 2005
        • 24818

        #4
        Cliff notes?

        Is this in the fact or fiction aisle?

        Comment

        • clickity click
          So Fecking Bummed
          • Aug 2014
          • 3682

          #5
          Nat is more real than Gary ever was. Long live Nat and let's put GAry in a swamp, river or lake...

          Comment

          • dillonaire
            Confirmed User
            • May 2009
            • 1795

            #6
            BTW - I am bout to go murder a leg workout.
            .

            "Deja moo - The feeling you've heard this Bull before."

            Skype: jeffreydillon
            Email: [email protected]

            Comment

            • sandman!
              Icq: 14420613
              • Mar 2001
              • 15431

              #7
              Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

              Comment

              • Rob
                I'm a great bowler.
                • Nov 2003
                • 13310

                #8
                This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

                ***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.

                Comment

                • dyna mo
                  just a fucking jerk
                  • Dec 2008
                  • 68184

                  #9
                  The 12 steps redux

                  Comment

                  • blackmonsters
                    Making PHP work
                    • Nov 2002
                    • 20976

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Rob
                    This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

                    ***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.
                    You need to watch more of that first 48 shit if you think a headless/handless body can't be identified.

                    Free Open Source Live Aggregated Cams Script (FOSLACS)

                    Comment

                    • Rob
                      I'm a great bowler.
                      • Nov 2003
                      • 13310

                      #11
                      Originally posted by blackmonsters
                      You need to watch more of that first 48 shit if you think a headless/handless body can't be identified.

                      If the person doesn't have DNA on file, which a vast majority of people don't, then how are they going to identify the body without prints or dental records?

                      Comment

                      • Rob
                        I'm a great bowler.
                        • Nov 2003
                        • 13310

                        #12
                        AND even if the person's DNA is on file, if they don't have anything to match it, there isn't a fingerprint matching system like AFIS for DNA. They would have to suspect it's someone, find their DNA or a family member's DNA to match it against.

                        Comment

                        • DVTimes
                          xxx
                          • Jun 2003
                          • 31658

                          #13
                          Scary stuff
                          XXX

                          Comment

                          • Miguel T
                            ♦ Web Developer ♦
                            • May 2005
                            • 12473

                            #14
                            OMG, that is not cool... lol

                            Full Stack Webdeveloper: HTML5/CSS3, jQuery, AJAX, ElevatedX, NATS, MechBunny, Wordpress

                            Comment

                            • The Porn Nerd
                              Living The Dream
                              • Jun 2009
                              • 19787

                              #15
                              Step 13) Endlessly argue with fellow Brit fuckwits like DVTimes and ask for their banning thinking it will help promote your site, business and reputation. It won't, but it will keep you busy while you wait for those fat sales checks to roll in.

                              My Affiliate Programs:
                              Porn Nerd Cash | Porn Showcase | Aggressive Gold

                              Over 90 paysites to promote!
                              Now on Teams: peabodymedia

                              Comment

                              • NatalieK
                                Natalie K
                                • Apr 2010
                                • 20123

                                #16
                                Originally posted by TheSquealer
                                8 years ago, I pulled off an incredible feat that few have gotten away with in this day and age. I murdered my wife.
                                Originally posted by SilentKnight
                                Is this in the fact or fiction aisle?
                                CS met us both 5 yrs ago, I'll let you decide...

                                Originally posted by clickity click
                                Nat is more real than Gary ever was. Long live Nat and let's put GAry in a swamp, river or lake...
                                We work together & play together... drink, sex & rocknroll... We're as real as each other

                                Originally posted by DVTimes
                                Scary stuff
                                fuck off, you're insane

                                Originally posted by Zuzana Miguel
                                OMG, that is not cool... lol
                                no it's not cool but it's a great way for keyboard attention whores to get that little boost
                                My official site / Custom vids / Make money links / First time girls
                                Email: [email protected] - "Converting traffic into income since 2005"

                                Comment

                                • NatalieK
                                  Natalie K
                                  • Apr 2010
                                  • 20123

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by The Porn Nerd
                                  Step 13) Endlessly argue with fellow Brit fuckwits like DVTimes and ask for their banning thinking it will help promote your site, business and reputation. It won't, but it will keep you busy while you wait for those fat sales checks to roll in.

                                  or while DV asshat writes a load of bollocks about you online, you get on & film some video to update your site... that's what I've been doing
                                  My official site / Custom vids / Make money links / First time girls
                                  Email: [email protected] - "Converting traffic into income since 2005"

                                  Comment

                                  • Sednub997
                                    Naked in my bathroom
                                    • Dec 2008
                                    • 6174

                                    #18
                                    Doesnt count if you havent done



                                    X10 FANS PLAFORM - 3 IN 1 LIVE CAMS/FANS/MEMBERSHIP CMS
                                    CONTENT MANAGEMENT, MONETIZATION AND PUBLISHING PLATFORM
                                    17 YEARS WITH 1000'S OF CLIENTS SCALABLE - ENTERPRISE-READY - MULTI-LANG

                                    Comment

                                    • Paul Markham
                                      Too old to care
                                      • Jun 2001
                                      • 52942

                                      #19
                                      gspotproductions

                                      Natalie K (@TheNatalieK) | Twitter

                                      Splash | NatalieK

                                      Splash | NatalieK

                                      Cash in with NatalieKash | NatalieKash

                                      OP

                                      ?

                                      ?

                                      ?

                                      ?



                                      Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500.
                                      PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

                                      Comment

                                      • CaptainHowdy
                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                        • Dec 2004
                                        • 94736

                                        #20
                                        Dude, there are puppies in this board!

                                        Comment

                                        • ottopottomouse
                                          She is ugly, bad luck.
                                          • Jan 2010
                                          • 13177

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Rob
                                          As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it.
                                          Tattoos?
                                          ↑ see post ↑
                                          13101

                                          Comment

                                          • The Porn Nerd
                                            Living The Dream
                                            • Jun 2009
                                            • 19787

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by ottopottomouse
                                            Tattoos?
                                            DNA?


                                            My Affiliate Programs:
                                            Porn Nerd Cash | Porn Showcase | Aggressive Gold

                                            Over 90 paysites to promote!
                                            Now on Teams: peabodymedia

                                            Comment

                                            • muthisdev
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jan 2016
                                              • 300

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by Rob
                                              This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

                                              ***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.
                                              I love how Internet Life matters more than Real Life.
                                              "What? 3 years of updates? Credible alibi!"
                                              <?= base64_decode("aHR0cDovL211dGhpc2Rldi5jb20v") ?>

                                              Comment

                                              • MakeMeGrrrrowl
                                                Grrrrrrrrr
                                                • Oct 2002
                                                • 4986

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by Rob
                                                This would only work if she had no friends, family, or life. And if that's the case, skip everything except the "cutting up the body" part, and you're set. No one is going to call in a missing person report. As long as you destroy the head and hands, there's no way to identify the body in case they ever do find it. They'll check missing persons reports, and she'll never have been reported.

                                                ***I watch WAYYYY too much The First 48. I have at least 20 of them on DVR as we speak.
                                                One of my fav shows.

                                                Comment

                                                • CaptainHowdy
                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                  • Dec 2004
                                                  • 94736

                                                  #25
                                                  I'm all lost ...

                                                  Comment

                                                  • TheSquealer
                                                    Mayor of Thneedville
                                                    • Oct 2004
                                                    • 26177

                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by CaptainHowdy
                                                    I'm all lost ...
                                                    ... he's been posting here for a long time as his wife because she's no longer with us and its his way of creating an alibi and allaying suspicion.

                                                    it was dumb joke.
                                                    .
                                                    Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens.

                                                    Rochard

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Rob
                                                      I'm a great bowler.
                                                      • Nov 2003
                                                      • 13310

                                                      #27
                                                      I never put 2 and 2 together and thought about the arsewithclass part. Derp...

                                                      Comment

                                                      Working...