My Spanish is not so good. Someone tell me what these guys are saying

[Dvae]

[_Lush_]

Puras mamadas !

[RandyRandy]

I speak Spanish. That was unintelligible Mexican, guey.

[julio2579]

Hi Dvae,
It's a joke. The guy with the meter tells the other that he is going to guess the size of their penis, measuring the entire body but actually are measuring the distance that has to drop the meter and hit the balls.

Hope you understand my english ;-)

[romeo22]

Dundo muffin

[michael.kickass]

Unos pelotudos importantes.