Anyone here ever tried writing a children's book?

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  • CurrentlySober
    Too lazy to wipe my ass
    • Aug 2002
    • 38939
    #1

    Anyone here ever tried writing a children's book?

    I know those of you who are parents will no doubt have few simple storys at the back of your minds, that you made up to amuse your little ones when they were younger... But I'm not really talking about that...

    I'm talking books for very young children, teaching them to read and count and stuff... "Run spot run!" - "John has the ball" - etc...

    Just 5 pages, one sentence on each page with a pic... Get it right and your the next J.K. Rowling! Get it wrong and you have wasted 5 sentences and 5 pics (Or six if you like cover art)

    So... Can it really be that easy? Feel free to point out the flaws in my plan?


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    • Markul
      Likes Pie
      • Dec 2007
      • 12403
      #2
      Well seeing how your book is probably gonna be all about poo, I can't see how it will fail so go for it man
      But.... I pulled out...

        Comment

        • Sid70
          Downshifter
          • Dec 2002
          • 16413
          #3
          I did.
          Русня, идите нахуй!

            Comment

            • CurrentlySober
              Too lazy to wipe my ass
              • Aug 2002
              • 38939
              #4
              Originally posted by Sid70
              I did.
              Care to post more about the experience? Was it an earner?


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                • Sid70
                  Downshifter
                  • Dec 2002
                  • 16413
                  #5
                  Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                  Care to post more about the experience? Was it an earner?
                  A story of 2 fictional chars called Zhykee and Tykee - sort of bugs on steroids who'd do cool & weird stuff in understanding of a 4-5 y/o/ child.

                  Basically I never read stories to my kids, all carefully prepared and served off my mind. I could be a good writer.
                  Русня, идите нахуй!

                    Comment

                    • CurrentlySober
                      Too lazy to wipe my ass
                      • Aug 2002
                      • 38939
                      #6
                      Originally posted by Sid70
                      A story of 2 fictional chars called Zhykee and Tykee - sort of bugs on steroids who'd do cool & weird stuff in understanding of a 4-5 y/o/ child.

                      Basically I never read stories to my kids, all carefully prepared and served off my mind. I could be a good writer.


                      👁️ 👍️ 💩

                        Comment

                        • rogueteens
                          So fucking bland
                          • Jul 2006
                          • 8005
                          #7
                          Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                          I know those of you who are parents will no doubt have few simple storys at the back of your minds, that you made up to amuse your little ones when they were younger... But I'm not really talking about that...

                          I'm talking books for very young children, teaching them to read and count and stuff... "Run spot run!" - "John has the ball" - etc...

                          Just 5 pages, one sentence on each page with a pic... Get it right and your the next J.K. Rowling! Get it wrong and you have wasted 5 sentences and 5 pics (Or six if you like cover art)

                          So... Can it really be that easy? Feel free to point out the flaws in my plan?
                          I don't think its quite that easy, I think the secret is in the illustrations.
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                            • CurrentlySober
                              Too lazy to wipe my ass
                              • Aug 2002
                              • 38939
                              #8
                              Originally posted by rogueteens
                              I don't think its quite that easy, I think the secret is in the illustrations.
                              Just Outsource? The 'artist' doesn't need to know the story or that its for a book. I bet you could get a good selection of appropriate style artwork done on fivver...


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                                • rogueteens
                                  So fucking bland
                                  • Jul 2006
                                  • 8005
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                  Just Outsource? The 'artist' doesn't need to know the story or that its for a book. I bet you could get a good selection of appropriate style artwork done on fivver...
                                  I was thinking more that the money would be in the artwork, posters, toys, all sorts of spinoffs.
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                                    • blackmonsters
                                      Making PHP work
                                      • Nov 2002
                                      • 20960
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                      I know those of you who are parents will no doubt have few simple storys at the back of your minds, that you made up to amuse your little ones when they were younger... But I'm not really talking about that...

                                      I'm talking books for very young children, teaching them to read and count and stuff... "Run spot run!" - "John has the ball" - etc...

                                      Just 5 pages, one sentence on each page with a pic... Get it right and your the next J.K. Rowling! Get it wrong and you have wasted 5 sentences and 5 pics (Or six if you like cover art)

                                      So... Can it really be that easy? Feel free to point out the flaws in my plan?

                                      The flaw is that everybody already read your book, "Winnie the Poo".

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                                        • Sid70
                                          Downshifter
                                          • Dec 2002
                                          • 16413
                                          #11
                                          Made me think, how about making up a site where world wide bed time stories would be gathered and published? Original tales only. As a incentive sort of where the authors submit the story and might win something.
                                          Русня, идите нахуй!

                                            Comment

                                            • MakeMeGrrrrowl
                                              Grrrrrrrrr
                                              • Oct 2002
                                              • 4986
                                              #12
                                              My favorite childrens book is "The little soul and the sun". I like the books that have a positive spin. Especially Louise Hay.

                                              What kind of book is in your mind Currently?

                                              @Sid, that sounds like a really good idea.

                                                Comment

                                                • Zuzana Designs
                                                  All Your Design Needs
                                                  • Feb 2005
                                                  • 20896
                                                  #13
                                                  I have written one but I'm still going through the process of getting it published. It's about an anteater named Sam and his pet goldfish that go looking for a Fairy.



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                                                    • aka123
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Jul 2014
                                                      • 4450
                                                      #14
                                                      This isn't the first place I would ask for children's books.

                                                      Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                                      I'm talking books for very young children, teaching them to read and count and stuff... "Run spot run!" - "John has the ball" - etc...
                                                      Great; my writing skills might be just enough for that.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Tom_PM
                                                          Porn Meister
                                                          • Feb 2005
                                                          • 16443
                                                          #15
                                                          You'll need some great art work along with a timeless story with an acceptable moral message. I think.
                                                          43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

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                                                            • AntonMG
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Jul 2014
                                                              • 596
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by Sid70
                                                              Made me think, how about making up a site where world wide bed time stories would be gathered and published? Original tales only. As a incentive sort of where the authors submit the story and might win something.
                                                              How about CPM earning based on the number of times the story one posted is shown.

                                                              End of month: Check your global eCPM, and split 80% of the revenue between authors based on the number of page views they got...
                                                              Unlucky GFY Newbie of the Year 2016 nominee...

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                                                                • AmateurKing
                                                                  Registered User
                                                                  • Oct 2008
                                                                  • 95
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Originally posted by AntonMG
                                                                  How about CPM earning based on the number of times the story one posted is shown.

                                                                  End of month: Check your global eCPM, and split 80% of the revenue between authors based on the number of page views they got...
                                                                  Good idea. Not to go off topic but has somebody created something like this in the adult business too. I remember adult erotic stories being quite popular a few years ago and they are gradually becoming mainstream after the fifty shades era. So, has anybody actually created such revenue sharing adult stories site. It might pull some good money and there would be a lot of horny folks readily available for writing and sharing their stories. Imagination works quite fast in case of adult as you know.

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                                                                    • CurrentlySober
                                                                      Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                      • 38939
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Originally posted by Sid70
                                                                      Made me think, how about making up a site where world wide bed time stories would be gathered and published? Original tales only. As a incentive sort of where the authors submit the story and might win something.
                                                                      & put in very small print in the TOS that all submitted stories become your intellectual property... Then if someone submits something amazing, you can publish it as your own


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                                                                        • CurrentlySober
                                                                          Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                          • 38939
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Originally posted by Zuzana Designs
                                                                          I have written one but I'm still going through the process of getting it published. It's about an anteater named Sam and his pet goldfish that go looking for a Fairy.




                                                                          👁️ 👍️ 💩

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • CurrentlySober
                                                                              Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                              • Aug 2002
                                                                              • 38939
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by blackmonsters
                                                                              The flaw is that everybody already read your book, "Winnie the Poo".

                                                                              Yeah, but I'd write the version for 'progressive' parents that despise 'baby talk' and want to treat their child less as a child, but more as a submissive equal.

                                                                              I'd call it "Winnie the Shit"


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                                                                                • RacerX
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Aug 2001
                                                                                  • 41
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Your story has already been written.



                                                                                  The Morgan Freeman version is better.

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • CurrentlySober
                                                                                      Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                                      • 38939
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by MakeMeGrrrrowl
                                                                                      What kind of book is in your mind Currently?
                                                                                      Well like I said, I do have few carefully homed tried and tested bedtime storys that I used to tell my son 20 years or so ago... But I really wasn't thinking that complex...

                                                                                      I'm talking real basic simple stuff. Just a sentence a page, and about 5 pages in total. Not even a story - More an exercise in Minimalistic thinking aimed at VERY small children's minds.

                                                                                      I'm thinking the more basic, the more simple, the more minimal the better... The sort of thing you might look at in a shop, and think - Fuck - Thats basic... I could do better than THAT... But, of course... You never actually do...


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                                                                                        • CurrentlySober
                                                                                          Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                                          • 38939
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by RacerX
                                                                                          Your story has already been written.



                                                                                          The Morgan Freeman version is better.

                                                                                          Indeed - But even THAT is more complex than I am talking about... I mean you see books with like a picture of a shoe and it says one shoe. Next page is a couple of pigs and it says 2 pigs, then three books or some-such... etc etc up to 10...

                                                                                          You see them like that EVERYWHERE. Someone has to 'write' them... (And get paid...) However, if they didn't sell and make money, they wouldn't exist.

                                                                                          Yet the DO exist... In abundance...


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                                                                                            • Sid70
                                                                                              Downshifter
                                                                                              • Dec 2002
                                                                                              • 16413
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                                                                              & put in very small print in the TOS that all submitted stories become your intellectual property... Then if someone submits something amazing, you can publish it as your own
                                                                                              Cant tell about actual publishing as a physical book, but might be an idea of making an app for that matter that has different plans eventually.
                                                                                              Русня, идите нахуй!

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                                                                                                • aka123
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Jul 2014
                                                                                                  • 4450
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Originally posted by Zuzana Designs
                                                                                                  I have written one but I'm still going through the process of getting it published. It's about an anteater named Sam and his pet goldfish that go looking for a Fairy.



                                                                                                  You seem to have the talent.

                                                                                                  By the way, why you changed your avatar again? That old picture is like from 90's, though not the only one on this boad. The actual photo was swell.

                                                                                                  How are you trying to get it published? Marching to traditional publisher's office or something like that?

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                                                                                                    • pornmasta
                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                      • Jun 2006
                                                                                                      • 20015
                                                                                                      #26

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                                                                                                        • clickity click
                                                                                                          So Fecking Bummed
                                                                                                          • Aug 2014
                                                                                                          • 3682
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          You don't even need to write words.

                                                                                                          Babies love books but just loot at patterns and colors. Black and white is a favorite.

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                                                                                                            • rogueteens
                                                                                                              So fucking bland
                                                                                                              • Jul 2006
                                                                                                              • 8005
                                                                                                              #28
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                                                                                                                • Struggle4Bucks
                                                                                                                  Sieg Hi!
                                                                                                                  • May 2011
                                                                                                                  • 3615
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  As with every product.... you still need to force it into the market... I'm sure there are millions of people working on millions of good ideas... Without a budget to force it into the market any good idea is worthless.
                                                                                                                  Half troll half amazing!

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                                                                                                                    • bronco67
                                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                      • Dec 2006
                                                                                                                      • 29032
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      I read to my baby girl almost every night. One thought that's always going through my mind is "I could write this shit". I could draw the pictures too, because I actually make a living as an artist anyway. The difference between me and a children's book author is that they got off their ass and did it.

                                                                                                                      After I finally finish my sci fi tentacle rape reverse gangbang graphic novel, I think a children's book will be next.

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                                                                                                                        • kane
                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                          • Aug 2001
                                                                                                                          • 20684
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          A friend of mine who loves pug dogs and is a pretty good artist wrote a kids book about the adventures of brother and sister pugs. I thought it was cute and the artwork was good. She has gone to a number of publishers with no luck. I suggested she sell it on amazon as it might be a good kindle book and she could sell hard copies of it as well. She refuses to self-publish because she is certain she will get a publisher some day and make millions off of it.

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                                                                                                                            • shake
                                                                                                                              frc
                                                                                                                              • Jul 2003
                                                                                                                              • 4663
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Originally posted by pornmasta

                                                                                                                              My kids used to love that book (the real one) still have the entire thing memorized...
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                                                                                                                                • Matyko
                                                                                                                                  PsyHead
                                                                                                                                  • Aug 2005
                                                                                                                                  • 8681
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  As I read such books Every Day to my kids [5, 8] I've met most of the books for their age. Usually I am not a proud hungarian, but I have to admit there are some really, really good authors here. Most of the value was written in the 70s-80s though. [Really] Good books for children are rare. People think everything is perfectly OK for them... So many carppy books on the market.. Last thing that shocked me was the book Paul McCartney wrote to kids. It is Pure Fucking Shit.
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                                                                                                                                    • bronco67
                                                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                      • Dec 2006
                                                                                                                                      • 29032
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by kane
                                                                                                                                      A friend of mine who loves pug dogs and is a pretty good artist wrote a kids book about the adventures of brother and sister pugs. I thought it was cute and the artwork was good. She has gone to a number of publishers with no luck. I suggested she sell it on amazon as it might be a good kindle book and she could sell hard copies of it as well. She refuses to self-publish because she is certain she will get a publisher some day and make millions off of it.
                                                                                                                                      her dream is to give most of her money to a giant, soul sucking corporation?

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                                                                                                                                        • pornmasta
                                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2006
                                                                                                                                          • 20015
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          today i learned a new word: loo
                                                                                                                                          For sure, i'm not gonna forget it !

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                                                                                                                                            • kane
                                                                                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                              • Aug 2001
                                                                                                                                              • 20684
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by bronco67
                                                                                                                                              her dream is to give most of her money to a giant, soul sucking corporation?
                                                                                                                                              Her main problem is that she reads about some of these kids' books that sell millions of copies and make a ton of money for their authors and she thinks she can do that. I suppose anything is possible, but I have pointed out to her that most of these people are either celebrities who have written the book and have a large amount of fame that they can capitalize on them or they are well-known in the kids' book world.

                                                                                                                                              I felt like she would be better served to get the book out, get some feedback, maybe make a few bucks and start growing a fan base. She has ideas for an entire series of books based on these dogs. I suggested if she can get decent sales on her own the bigger publishers will come to her.

                                                                                                                                              She, however, is certain that she is going to find the right publisher who will see what she has to offer and will give her a six figure advance just for this book.

                                                                                                                                              So really she is looking for a soul sucking corporation to give her a bunch of money up front which is likely never going to happen.

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • bronco67
                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                  • Dec 2006
                                                                                                                                                  • 29032
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by kane
                                                                                                                                                  Her main problem is that she reads about some of these kids' books that sell millions of copies and make a ton of money for their authors and she thinks she can do that. I suppose anything is possible, but I have pointed out to her that most of these people are either celebrities who have written the book and have a large amount of fame that they can capitalize on them or they are well-known in the kids' book world.

                                                                                                                                                  I felt like she would be better served to get the book out, get some feedback, maybe make a few bucks and start growing a fan base. She has ideas for an entire series of books based on these dogs. I suggested if she can get decent sales on her own the bigger publishers will come to her.

                                                                                                                                                  She, however, is certain that she is going to find the right publisher who will see what she has to offer and will give her a six figure advance just for this book.

                                                                                                                                                  So really she is looking for a soul sucking corporation to give her a bunch of money up front which is likely never going to happen.
                                                                                                                                                  Sounds like she needs to be educated on the democratization of book publishing.

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • candyflip
                                                                                                                                                      Carpe Visio
                                                                                                                                                      • Jul 2002
                                                                                                                                                      • 43069
                                                                                                                                                      #38

                                                                                                                                                      Spend you some brain.
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                                                                                                                                                        • just a punk
                                                                                                                                                          So fuckin' bored
                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                                          • 32393
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          That's a Czech book for kids. Not sure you can read Slavic languages (they are very similar actually) but I hope you will understand the story anyways ;)









































                                                                                                                                                          Obey the Cowgod

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                                                                                                                                                            • kane
                                                                                                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                              • Aug 2001
                                                                                                                                                              • 20684
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by bronco67
                                                                                                                                                              Sounds like she needs to be educated on the democratization of book publishing.
                                                                                                                                                              To some degree yes, but what she really doesn't get is that someone like Will Smith gets a massive advance for his kids book because he is Will Smith. She thinks she should get the same advance because her book is just as good. Her book might be as good or even better, but she doesn't have a legion of fans and the ability to go on countless talk shows and media outlets to talk about and promote her book.

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                                                                                                                                                                • bronco67
                                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                  • Dec 2006
                                                                                                                                                                  • 29032
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by kane
                                                                                                                                                                  To some degree yes, but what she really doesn't get is that someone like Will Smith gets a massive advance for his kids book because he is Will Smith. She thinks she should get the same advance because her book is just as good. Her book might be as good or even better, but she doesn't have a legion of fans and the ability to go on countless talk shows and media outlets to talk about and promote her book.
                                                                                                                                                                  True. This is why pricing an album with the honor system works for a band like Radiohead, but not so much for every other band.

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