Worst Shark Tank EVER

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  • The Porn Nerd
    Living The Dream
    • Jun 2009
    • 19787

    #1

    Worst Shark Tank EVER

    Disclaimer: I LOVE Shark Tank. LOVE IT. Total addiction. But I just saw the biggest piece of Internet bullshit I have ever seen. We, as Adult webmasters, who wonder what the heck "mainstream" really is all about, this episode of Shark Tank proves exactly what it is:

    BULLSHIT.

    Guy comes in, does a little dance, and is seeking 10K for 25% of his "company" (meaning he thinks it's worth 40K). What's his "company"? I Want To Draw A Cat For You. People write in to his website, describe the kind of cat they want drawn, and this fucktard sits down at his kitchen table every night and scratches out a stick figure cat drawing. He sells them for $9.99 and has sold about a thousand of them over a year's time.

    So guess what happens? Mark Cuban offers him 25K - or 2.5 times what the shmuck is seeking - for 33% of his "company". Dude accepts (duh) and he and Cuban do a little cat dance together.

    The cat drawing dude made a couple hundred a week doing this bullshit and now he has a business worthy of being on Shark Tank? Look for The Porn Nerd on there soon, pitching the sharks on his wild-ass outsourced 'profit margins' and the 'scaleability' of his growing Internet media network.

    Someone please shoot me.
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  • johnnyloadproductions
    Account Shutdown
    • Oct 2008
    • 3611

    #2
    Originally posted by The Porn Nerd
    Someone please shoot me.

    Comment

    • 420
      cuck
      • Mar 2003
      • 11571

      #3
      Jelly cause you can't draw teh kitteh?
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      • johnnyloadproductions
        Account Shutdown
        • Oct 2008
        • 3611

        #4
        Guess he can still scale it, low skill and just fraudulently claim all the drawings are his.

        Comment

        • kane
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Aug 2001
          • 20684

          #5
          I remember that. If you do a search for him you will see that in addition to roughly 10,000 orders for cat drawings he and Mark have launched 7 new businesses all that started witht he cat drawing. Not too shabby.

          Comment

          • JD
            Too lazy to set a custom title
            • Sep 2003
            • 22651

            #6
            yeah i saw that one. shit blew my mind. I honestly think the producers put the occasional random shit in front of them for publicity. In Mark Cubans case 40k is like me throwing a nickel into fountain. If the wish comes true... fuck yeah. If not... oh well I have millions of nickels.

            Comment

            • The Porn Nerd
              Living The Dream
              • Jun 2009
              • 19787

              #7
              Originally posted by kane
              I remember that. If you do a search for him you will see that in addition to roughly 10,000 orders for cat drawings he and Mark have launched 7 new businesses all that started witht he cat drawing. Not too shabby.
              Wow. What a country is all I can say. Now I REALLY want someone to shoot me. LOL

              Here I just drew this:



              Pay me.
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              • woj
                <&(©¿©)&>
                • Jul 2002
                • 47882

                #8
                it seems half the time they invest in the business just because they feel sorry for the entrepreneur...
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                • 420
                  cuck
                  • Mar 2003
                  • 11571

                  #9
                  Originally posted by The Porn Nerd
                  Wow. What a country is all I can say. Now I REALLY want someone to shoot me. LOL

                  Here I just drew this:



                  Pay me.
                  I will buy a drawing* of your penis for ~$3.50


                  *hand drawn on paper
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                  • epitome
                    So Fucking Lame
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 12156

                    #10
                    Similar to American Idol with their ridiculous auditions, the producers of Shark Tank throw in crazy stuff to mix things up and keep the show interesting. It's TV.

                    Comment

                    • slapass
                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                      • Nov 2002
                      • 14625

                      #11
                      It has blown up - Shark Tank Success Stories: IWantToDrawACatForYou.com

                      Comment

                      • TheSquealer
                        Mayor of Thneedville
                        • Oct 2004
                        • 26174

                        #12
                        Cuban is smart. Products that are on that show blow up. He did 9k with zero press. I'm sure Cuban will make money on his investment
                        .
                        Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens.

                        Rochard

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                        • Freedom6995
                          Friends of Venus founder
                          • Jul 2010
                          • 1975

                          #13
                          Originally posted by The Porn Nerd
                          Wow. What a country is all I can say. Now I REALLY want someone to shoot me. LOL

                          Here I just drew this:



                          Pay me.
                          Smoke some of the good stuff and do a Siamese kitty for us.

                          Comment

                          • VikingMan
                            Exploiting human weakness
                            • Jan 2008
                            • 6861

                            #14
                            fucking cats

                            Comment

                            • 420
                              cuck
                              • Mar 2003
                              • 11571

                              #15
                              Originally posted by VikingMan
                              fucking cats
                              Can you make more money drawing dogs?
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                              • altmman
                                Confirmed User
                                • Jan 2015
                                • 468

                                #16
                                Originally posted by The Porn Nerd
                                Guy comes in, does a little dance, and is seeking 10K for 25% of his "company" (meaning he thinks it's worth 40K). What's his "company"? I Want To Draw A Cat For You. People write in to his website, describe the kind of cat they want drawn, and this fucktard sits down at his kitchen table every night and scratches out a stick figure cat drawing. He sells them for $9.99 and has sold about a thousand of them over a year's time.
                                People love shit like that. Custom cat pictures from a (now) popular fun and goofy person. The guy who did TheOnion is a multi millionaire now from shitty drawings of cats/animal/people.
                                Love his story, lost his job, had nothing, now he built a brand out of fun and silliness.
                                Plus getting on Shark Tank means it will be in front of millions of people who, i bet 2% of them will buy a cat picture and 5% will post about it on social media.

                                Comment

                                • Harmonizer
                                  So Fucking Banned
                                  • Feb 2015
                                  • 66

                                  #17
                                  I just watched the shark tank with the original patent holders of guitar hero. The sharks kicked them out and I was like... wtf. Sometimes they are just arrogant and really, really stingy.

                                  Comment

                                  • CurrentlySober
                                    Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                    • Aug 2002
                                    • 38945

                                    #18
                                    i could draw the cats poo?


                                    👁️ 👍️ 💩

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                                    • TheDA
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • May 2006
                                      • 4665

                                      #19
                                      I guess Shark Tank is the US version of Dragon's Den?
                                      Sharleen Spiteri - 1989 - In The Ass

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                                      • poncabare
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Jul 2007
                                        • 2552

                                        #20
                                        fuck cats

                                        Comment

                                        • CaptainHowdy
                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                          • Dec 2004
                                          • 94733

                                          #21
                                          Never seen a bad Shark Tank episode ...

                                          Comment

                                          • The Porn Nerd
                                            Living The Dream
                                            • Jun 2009
                                            • 19787

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by CaptainHowdy
                                            Never seen a bad Shark Tank episode ...
                                            Entire bad episode? No. Terrible segment? Yes. LOL

                                            Drawing cats = success = The Porn Nerd = crying.

                                            Oh the humanity! Or, the catmanity!!

                                            PS: I want to marry and spank (not in that order) Lori Grenier. LOL
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                                            • CaptainHowdy
                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                              • Dec 2004
                                              • 94733

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by The Porn Nerd
                                              Entire bad episode? No. Terrible segment? Yes. LOL

                                              Drawing cats = success = The Porn Nerd = crying.

                                              Oh the humanity! Or, the catmanity!!

                                              PS: I want to marry and spank (not in that order) Lori Grenier. LOL
                                              I'm someone who doesn't know to make money , so I see it almost as science fiction.

                                              Comment

                                              • czarina
                                                Webmaster Extraordinaire
                                                • Jul 2002
                                                • 10752

                                                #24
                                                I don't watch TV so I have no idea what's happening here ;P

                                                Comment

                                                • femdomdestiny
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Apr 2007
                                                  • 5185

                                                  #25
                                                  oh...I've read: Worst Star Trek EVER
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                                                  • TeenCat
                                                    Too lazy to set a koala
                                                    • Jan 2007
                                                    • 16139

                                                    #26
                                                    anybody said fart tank?

                                                    6bot
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                                                    • Ross
                                                      Ik ben een aap
                                                      • Sep 2002
                                                      • 18874

                                                      #27
                                                      The dude done an AMA recently on reddit, quite interesting. IamA terrible artist who has sold 18,794 pieces of original art. AMA! : IAmA

                                                      Comment

                                                      • 420
                                                        cuck
                                                        • Mar 2003
                                                        • 11571

                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by TeenCat
                                                        anybody said fart tank?
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                                                        • clickity click
                                                          So Fecking Bummed
                                                          • Aug 2014
                                                          • 3682

                                                          #29
                                                          Why would a guy come in for 10k but be offered 25k???
                                                          The extra 15k is for the additional 8%?

                                                          Sounds like Dragons Den but that shit would never happen.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • TeenCat
                                                            Too lazy to set a koala
                                                            • Jan 2007
                                                            • 16139

                                                            #30
                                                            Originally posted by 420


                                                            hehehe lol!

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                                                            • 420
                                                              cuck
                                                              • Mar 2003
                                                              • 11571

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by clickity click
                                                              Why would a guy come in for 10k but be offered 25k???
                                                              The extra 15k is for the additional 8%?

                                                              Sounds like Dragons Den but that shit would never happen.
                                                              That didn't make sense to me either. Guy valued his company at 40k but Cuban values the company at 75k and over pays.




                                                              Actually, the drawings aren't bad.
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                                                              • The Porn Nerd
                                                                Living The Dream
                                                                • Jun 2009
                                                                • 19787

                                                                #32
                                                                Originally posted by 420
                                                                That didn't make sense to me either. Guy valued his company at 40k but Cuban values the company at 75k and over pays.




                                                                Actually, the drawings aren't bad.
                                                                This is what I am saying (and what drove me to create this thread). If Cuban is THAT easily entertained then I've got some porn to sell him.

                                                                Hey Mark - $200,000 for 2% of my company. You in?

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                                                                • brassmonkey
                                                                  Pay It Forward
                                                                  • Sep 2005
                                                                  • 77396

                                                                  #33
                                                                  i tried to buy from some people on there pure assholes.
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                                                                  • Wendy-Etology
                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                    • Jan 2015
                                                                    • 274

                                                                    #34
                                                                    Meow meow meow

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                                                                    • The Porn Nerd
                                                                      Living The Dream
                                                                      • Jun 2009
                                                                      • 19787

                                                                      #35
                                                                      OK now JEFF FOXWORTHY is a Guest Shark on tonight's show.

                                                                      WTF MAN SERIOUSLY????? JEFF FOXWORTHY???

                                                                      Shoot me, roll me in pig fat and grill my stunned ass. PLEASE.
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                                                                      • The Porn Nerd
                                                                        Living The Dream
                                                                        • Jun 2009
                                                                        • 19787

                                                                        #36
                                                                        OK Foxworthy is quite good, and he is definitely a smart fellow.

                                                                        Man, I am dumber than Jeff Foxworthy. LOL
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                                                                        • mineistaken
                                                                          See signature :)
                                                                          • Apr 2007
                                                                          • 29656

                                                                          #37
                                                                          Originally posted by clickity click
                                                                          Why would a guy come in for 10k but be offered 25k???
                                                                          The extra 15k is for the additional 8%?

                                                                          Sounds like Dragons Den but that shit would never happen.
                                                                          I am not sure how stocks works in US, but in some countries there are few thresholds, for example 10%, 30%. That means that you can have MUCH more "power' (for example in requesting documents or other stuff) if you hold 11% instead of 9% or if you hold 31% instead of 29%.
                                                                          maybe that was the case here - 33% gives you more of something else on top of those extra 8%.

                                                                          Comment

                                                                          • Sly
                                                                            Let's do some business!
                                                                            • Sep 2004
                                                                            • 31376

                                                                            #38
                                                                            Originally posted by The Porn Nerd
                                                                            OK Foxworthy is quite good, and he is definitely a smart fellow.

                                                                            Man, I am dumber than Jeff Foxworthy. LOL
                                                                            Jeff Foxworthy has built an empire on his "redneck" routine. He has helped several others build empires as well. He is no fool.
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                                                                            • kb24
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Feb 2012
                                                                              • 108

                                                                              #39
                                                                              Sometimes you don't need to make a deal on shark tank all you need is exposure..I did see this pitch ehh it is what it is.
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                                                                              • Drake
                                                                                Hello world!
                                                                                • Mar 2003
                                                                                • 12508

                                                                                #40
                                                                                Haven't seen this episode but Shark Tank is one of my favorite shows. Must be more to the deal!

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • The Porn Nerd
                                                                                  Living The Dream
                                                                                  • Jun 2009
                                                                                  • 19787

                                                                                  #41
                                                                                  Originally posted by Sly
                                                                                  Jeff Foxworthy has built an empire on his "redneck" routine. He has helped several others build empires as well. He is no fool.
                                                                                  Agreed. The story I heard is Foxworthy wanted a career in standup comedy but he was working for IBM. He's a coder by trade, or something tech. Anyway he saved his pennies and gave himself X number of years to make it (like 5). I think Ray Romano did something similar.

                                                                                  Foxworthy has also done great stuff with kids (charities, books, tv shows). Much respect for him. Just a bit of a shock to see him on Shark Tank, that's all.
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                                                                                  • AmeliaG
                                                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                    • Jan 2003
                                                                                    • 10663

                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    Originally posted by Ross
                                                                                    The dude done an AMA recently on reddit, quite interesting. IamA terrible artist who has sold 18,794 pieces of original art. AMA! : IAmA
                                                                                    Thanks for the link!

                                                                                    Crazy that the guy got a chance like that, had six figures rolling in, and decided he should just screw Mark Cuban because it was a lot of work.
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                                                                                    • TheDA
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • May 2006
                                                                                      • 4665

                                                                                      #43
                                                                                      Originally posted by clickity click
                                                                                      Why would a guy come in for 10k but be offered 25k???
                                                                                      The extra 15k is for the additional 8%?

                                                                                      Sounds like Dragons Den but that shit would never happen.
                                                                                      It's happened before on Dragon's Den too.
                                                                                      Sharleen Spiteri - 1989 - In The Ass

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                                                                                      • clickity click
                                                                                        So Fecking Bummed
                                                                                        • Aug 2014
                                                                                        • 3682

                                                                                        #44
                                                                                        Originally posted by TheDA
                                                                                        It's happened before on Dragon's Den too.
                                                                                        Has it? Didn't know.

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • RazorSharpe
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Aug 2001
                                                                                          • 2238

                                                                                          #45
                                                                                          Originally posted by clickity click
                                                                                          Has it? Didn't know.
                                                                                          Most certainly has ... look up a product called Magnamole (I think) ....
                                                                                          Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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                                                                                          • The Porn Nerd
                                                                                            Living The Dream
                                                                                            • Jun 2009
                                                                                            • 19787

                                                                                            #46
                                                                                            Originally posted by AmeliaG
                                                                                            Thanks for the link!

                                                                                            Crazy that the guy got a chance like that, had six figures rolling in, and decided he should just screw Mark Cuban because it was a lot of work.
                                                                                            How did he screw Cuban? I'm assuming not in a good way. LOL
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                                                                                            • mineistaken
                                                                                              See signature :)
                                                                                              • Apr 2007
                                                                                              • 29656

                                                                                              #47
                                                                                              Originally posted by clickity click
                                                                                              Why would a guy come in for 10k but be offered 25k???
                                                                                              The extra 15k is for the additional 8%?

                                                                                              Sounds like Dragons Den but that shit would never happen.
                                                                                              Or maybe simply the guy was ready to give up only 25% and did not need extra cash that much, so MC had to sweeten the deal by offering more per share in order to get 33% instead of 25%.

                                                                                              Just a thought without seeing the episode. Maybe they could elaborate on things like that.

                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                              • DVTimes
                                                                                                xxx
                                                                                                • Jun 2003
                                                                                                • 31658

                                                                                                #48
                                                                                                do you remember those stone pets from years ago.
                                                                                                XXX

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                                                                                                • Jim_Gunn
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Feb 2003
                                                                                                  • 5702

                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                  You must be watching the repeats on CNBC. Those are some old episodes that you are talking about with Jeff Foxworthy and the I Want To Draw A Cat For You guy. I love Shark Tank too. I'm assuming you are watching the new eps on ABC as well?

                                                                                                  Dragons Den UK is airing episodes of their twelfth season right now as is the Canadian version of Dragons Den in their ninth season. I catch those online through my VPN on the BBC and CBC web sites. They even started up a Shark Tank Australia edition a few weeks ago that is also pretty entertaining. I'm not sure if the Irish version of Dragons Den is coming back for a seventh season however.

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                                                                                                  • carpocratian
                                                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                                                    • Jun 2014
                                                                                                    • 198

                                                                                                    #50
                                                                                                    Jeff Foxworthy was a regular on Shark Tank years ago.

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