...were in the locker room when I went to take a piss. I walk around the corner and they are nude and facing each other and one guy slams his leg down in a wide stance as if he's squaring off sumo style with his portly friend and readying himself to charge into his friend in what could only be the most disgusting sumo match ever.
I started laughing at what I thought was a joke between them. At least thats what it appeared to be.
Then..., I instantly realize the one guy slamming his foot down sumo style, simply lost his balance as the other was hunched over and facing him and it was just random chance that I saw this delightful little picture as they continued getting dressed.
Now I'm slightly embarrassed for laughing out loud and they have fully paused to stare at me and we shared a moment of VERY awkward silence. My first thought of course, was to explain and apologize but instantly my mind races and as i start to rehearse an apology in my mind, i start thinking "what if they don't speak English - this is gonna get weirder", "what if I end up trying to explain with hand gestures that I thought him and his fat friend were pretending to be in a naked locker room sumo match?".
Well, this thought made me laugh again as I'm standing there staring at them. Now I am really embarrassed and have completely lost any sense of composure. So, at a complete loss, i abruptly turned around and kept walking into the toilets, trying to put this behind me.
Me being me, as i'm standing there peeing, I started again imagining myself trying to explain with hand gestures that I thought they were having a naked sumo match... all while I'm trying not to laugh and of course this time I start cracking up while I am peeing. I just couldn't stop laughing.
Obviously they hear me as I'm just right around the corner and they are likely not sure what I am laughing about, but are certain that its 100% about them... and its made much weirder because I'm peeing and laughing at the same time. I can only imagine what they are thinking and saying to each other. I finish peeing and I find myself just standing there... afraid to walk back out at the risk of making eye contact with them.
So after a long pause, I recompose myself and i start walking out and our eyes meet and they freeze in their tracks and stare at me. I'm am generally a super polite and well mannered person, so just I can't help wanting to apologize and explain. I stopped and start to raise my hands and right before I said anything, I glanced down at my hands and thought "really, you fucking idiot, you're going to mime two fat naked Asian people colliding and try to twist that into an apology... and being the genius you are, you think that will make it all better?" I burst out laughing again right in front of them. It was fucking horrible... I mean I'm almost on the floor, I just couldn't stop. I look up and they are looking at me with the most perplexed look i've ever seen on two peoples faces in my life, which only made me laugh harder.
These two naked Chinese guys are looking at me like they don't know if I'm dangerous or insane or what. I managed to pull myself together, said "I'm really sorry" a couple times, and realizing that any apology at this point is not even close to adequate and made no sense at all, I just kept laughing harder and harder.
Tonight I walked in to go pee again. This is like 6 months later. They were there again. It was horrible. I turned the corner and there they both were, same place, same positions facing each other naked. They both saw me and instantly froze like they were looking at an axe murderer trying to decide which of them to kill first and trying to decide which way to run. I felt really horrible and ashamed and embarrassed for a moment...I really wanted to say i was sorry,... but then I replayed what happened the last time in my mind and without hesitation, I burst out laughing again and had no choice but to just kept walking to the toilet.
This time, they were gone when I came out.
I started laughing at what I thought was a joke between them. At least thats what it appeared to be.
Then..., I instantly realize the one guy slamming his foot down sumo style, simply lost his balance as the other was hunched over and facing him and it was just random chance that I saw this delightful little picture as they continued getting dressed.
Now I'm slightly embarrassed for laughing out loud and they have fully paused to stare at me and we shared a moment of VERY awkward silence. My first thought of course, was to explain and apologize but instantly my mind races and as i start to rehearse an apology in my mind, i start thinking "what if they don't speak English - this is gonna get weirder", "what if I end up trying to explain with hand gestures that I thought him and his fat friend were pretending to be in a naked locker room sumo match?".
Well, this thought made me laugh again as I'm standing there staring at them. Now I am really embarrassed and have completely lost any sense of composure. So, at a complete loss, i abruptly turned around and kept walking into the toilets, trying to put this behind me.
Me being me, as i'm standing there peeing, I started again imagining myself trying to explain with hand gestures that I thought they were having a naked sumo match... all while I'm trying not to laugh and of course this time I start cracking up while I am peeing. I just couldn't stop laughing.
Obviously they hear me as I'm just right around the corner and they are likely not sure what I am laughing about, but are certain that its 100% about them... and its made much weirder because I'm peeing and laughing at the same time. I can only imagine what they are thinking and saying to each other. I finish peeing and I find myself just standing there... afraid to walk back out at the risk of making eye contact with them.
So after a long pause, I recompose myself and i start walking out and our eyes meet and they freeze in their tracks and stare at me. I'm am generally a super polite and well mannered person, so just I can't help wanting to apologize and explain. I stopped and start to raise my hands and right before I said anything, I glanced down at my hands and thought "really, you fucking idiot, you're going to mime two fat naked Asian people colliding and try to twist that into an apology... and being the genius you are, you think that will make it all better?" I burst out laughing again right in front of them. It was fucking horrible... I mean I'm almost on the floor, I just couldn't stop. I look up and they are looking at me with the most perplexed look i've ever seen on two peoples faces in my life, which only made me laugh harder.
These two naked Chinese guys are looking at me like they don't know if I'm dangerous or insane or what. I managed to pull myself together, said "I'm really sorry" a couple times, and realizing that any apology at this point is not even close to adequate and made no sense at all, I just kept laughing harder and harder.
Tonight I walked in to go pee again. This is like 6 months later. They were there again. It was horrible. I turned the corner and there they both were, same place, same positions facing each other naked. They both saw me and instantly froze like they were looking at an axe murderer trying to decide which of them to kill first and trying to decide which way to run. I felt really horrible and ashamed and embarrassed for a moment...I really wanted to say i was sorry,... but then I replayed what happened the last time in my mind and without hesitation, I burst out laughing again and had no choice but to just kept walking to the toilet.
This time, they were gone when I came out.
maybe you get priceless connections
i imagine the look on their faces whenever you try to pull a serious face and apologize
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