Advice: How To Get Over a Girl?

I'm definitely longing for someone to enjoy special times with, someone to take on dates, to enjoy new experiences etc

For me personally it hasn't meant I don't know who I am, so I can't comment on that, but seems a person like you describes has a lot of issues with over-thinking and over-analyzing, and those 2 traits I definitely have. It's a fucker though as it ties in with being able to see many perspectives/angles on a subject, whereas most people, I'd venture to guess, have a fixed opinion. So then what happens is you come over as argumentative, when in fact it's just you can emotionally detach, and see those shades of grey. But I digress :-)

2. life is like a fart... if you have to force it, it's likely to turn into a shit

Sorry, one last pithy thing to add: I used to worry about how I looked, what I wore, how much I weighed, etc etc. Then one day it hit me like a lightning bolt. The ONLY thing I have to be to a woman is...interesting. That's it. that's the secret of "How did HE get HER?" and why you see gorgeous women with fugly shmoos. The ugly shmoos have no choice but to be interesting. If you have any looks at all then you become James Bond or Cary Grant.

Good point. I guess it's just been so long since I've had any problems with starting a conversation that I've forgotten how much of a bitch it was back in the day.

Talk to as many girls are possible, go out, socialize.

My point was that you can write your own script and use it. Just notes of topics and lines and jokes. Not use canned lines from a pick up site that everyone has heard a 1000 times. However, that works just fine as well and you can adjust as needed based on feedback/response. What you say to initiate a conversation is not as important as the next things you say. My personal thing is to be different and be yourself at the same time. Pickup is sales. Usually a sales pitch starts with a retarded/transparent opener... but if you are interested in the product, you'll keep listening until they fully blow it or sell you on it.

To borrow a couple of phrases:

1. The more you tighten your grip, the more will slip through your fingers

2. life is like a fart... if you have to force it, it's likely to turn into a shit

Relax, go with the flow of life, don't force things, be like water that naturally runs around rocks and gets to where it gets to, not the water that crashes into the rocks over and over

Not being the nice guy is going to be an extreme change as that is the only approach I have ever used, and to be honest I haven't got far - not far at all.

Sorry, one last pithy thing to add: I used to worry about how I looked, what I wore, how much I weighed, etc etc. Then one day it hit me like a lightning bolt. The ONLY thing I have to be to a woman is...interesting. That's it. that's the secret of "How did HE get HER?" and why you see gorgeous women with fugly shmoos. The ugly shmoos have no choice but to be interesting. If you have any looks at all then you become James Bond or Cary Grant.

My point was that you can write your own script and use it. Just notes of topics and lines and jokes. Not use canned lines from a pick up site that everyone has heard a 1000 times. However, that works just fine as well and you can adjust as needed based on feedback/response. What you say to initiate a conversation is not as important as the next things you say. My personal thing is to be different and be yourself at the same time.

Another thing to consider... if you want to be interesting to women. BE interesting. Do interesting things. Have interesting experiences. get out, take pics, have fun and be fun. Fill your facebook page full of you being awesome and interesting and having fun. gives you lots to talk about. Go skydiving. Go white water rafting. Take a cool road trip and take lots of cool pics. Go to concerts and races and fights. etc etc etc. What would James Bond do? Get to it. Always have tons of shit to talk about and sometimes be too busy doing awesome things to return a text or call or to meet for lunch and then show the pics when you finally get a chance to meet up with her - if she asks.

Here's the bottom line mate: you have to act as if you do not need them or want them then they will want you.

It's like going into a bank for a loan. When you actually NEED the money you will probably get turned down for this reason or that. But if you have tons of money banks will fall all over themselves to give you more.

This is why I mentioned Cary Grant and TheSquealer mentioned James Bond. Act as if you are the person you want to become and you WILL become that person. You are spending way too much time here "taking notes" when mostly everything we are telling you comes from an unconscious place, a natural place without having to think about it.

There are 4 stages of mastery. Anyone who has driven a stick shift car will know what I am talking about.

Stage 1: Unconscious INcompetance: You don't know jack shit and you don't even know you don't know jack shit.

Stage 2: Conscious Incompetance: You don't know jack shit but now at least you KNOW you don't know jack shit - and are opening to learning.

Stage 3: Conscious Competance: You are getting better but you still have to "think" about it, check your notes, follow a script. Until...

Stage 4: UNconscious Competance: You just KNOW how to do something. Driving that stick shift is so natural now you don't even think about the clutch or shifting. It's become a part of you.

It takes time and experience to get to Stage 4 in any endeavor but if you are aware of where you stand (I am guessing Stage 2 right now) you can get there much faster.

In other words: Zen. "Be, do not do." Is that Zen? LOL

(Have not seen Suits but will check it out for sure.)

The vast majority of males fear rejection - and EVERY male gets rejected and that includes the top alpha males with looks, money and status. They just get rejected less and by better looking females. With every rejection the fear grows with many guys. It's a numbers game pure and simple, every guy I know who is great with women either naturally doesn't care about rejection much or he's trained himself not to care. He'll hit on 10 women knowing all that matters is 1. For a guy with a lot going for him he may hit on 1 of 5, another guy it might be 1 in 20.

A few hours later I thought about that conversation and I was shocked that I asked that, I think I basically gave her the impression that I was worried about drugs etc. And then I worry about how she looked at me, does she now think I take drugs, is she guessing what drugs I might have taken etc.

The vast majority of males fear rejection - and EVERY male gets rejected and that includes the top alpha males with looks, money and status. They just get rejected less and by better looking females. With every rejection the fear grows with many guys. It's a numbers game pure and simple, every guy I know who is great with women either naturally doesn't care about rejection much or he's trained himself not to care. He'll hit on 10 women knowing all that matters is 1. For a guy with a lot going for him he may hit on 1 of 5, another guy it might be 1 in 20.

The other fact of life is that people need to 'know their role', 'stay in their lane', 'don't punch out of your weight class' - if you're a '6 out of 10' guy, you're not ever going to date a 8/9/10, without paying for it. Until a guy comes to terms with that and lowers his expectations porn and escorts will have to do. Escorting, thanks to the Internet, continues to get more and more popular.

Sociopaths do well with women because they have supreme confidence, ill placed often but that doesn't matter to women, until it's too late and the sociopath has ruined their life.

hahaha, exactly the kind of shit I do

fwiw, I now just accept (most of the time anyway) that's part of what makes me me, and all the good shit that makes me easy-going, approachable, mostly friendly, blahblah etcetc because if I don't, I end up over-analyzing *that* shit, and on the vicious cycle goes.