Advice: How To Get Over a Girl?

Don't over analyze the past or pick apart events. That will just drive you crazy. Let go. It's over. Don't over think it. Attraction doesn't come down to a single even like that and whatever choice you made. If she was attracted to you before, she'd be attracted to you after. Besides, as much as i like to fight, fighting in social situations is a sign of emotional weakness and emotional instability.

I agree, this is a learning experience - and how I see life and experiences is, if they don't kill you then hopefully we can learn from them and not make the same mistake again (because that becomes costly).

If you don't mind, let's analyse a few things that I did during this experience.

1. I would answer her text messages straight away, usually after a few minutes.
Should I rather have waited a few hours, played a bit of a game?

2. When she was keen to do something, such as go for lunch etc I would always be available, even if I had something else planned. In one instance I cancelled watching the World Cup final with a group of 10+ friends, just to go and watch with her.
Should I rather not be as available? Rather make her feel that she's lucky to be with me? Rather say I'm not available even if I am just to make myself to appear to be busy?

My approach has been to treat the women as if she is a princess, as if I'm her bodyguard and to try and protect her at all times. (I've been told by my friends that I act as if I'm their Dad)?

Is the correct approach to rather not pay as much attention, rather not buy them drink after drink, rather not be as emotionally attached?

You're killing me here. You sound like a fat girl reacting to attention from Brad Pitt.

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You'll be fine. Just give it a little bit of time. Here's another clip from later in the movie...

You would have taken a beating and she would have left with the guy ....

Move on .... more then 2 billion females out there !

Dam, you're spot on with this and I've recently experienced this.

I met a girl through a friend, she is average and not my type (a bit too much of a tom boy) but we met and I was friendly, but I didn't spend anytime with her that evening we met.

The next day we randomly met at the same live play and we chatted, was just chilled.

A few weeks later she got my contact details from her friend and she sent me a message, we chatted and I took her out on a date.

I didn't feel any attraction, but I wanted to give her a fair chance so I took her on another date and that confirmed it for me, but she was very keen.

She would give me compliments, she would chat about things I had done, remember things I had said, chat to her family about me, offered to cook for me etc. Basically she really liked me, but I didn't feel the same way.

I wasn't interested, so I would say a few mean comments such as she should date guys that would walk past, she should date her best guy friend, I offered to get her a guys number etc.

These were things that felt terrible saying as I got that feeling in my spine that as a gentleman I shouldn't say things like this to a girl, but I was trying to be mean on purpose to push her away, but gently.

I eventually told her I'm not looking for a relationship, I had to tell her straight as I felt it would have been unfair to drag her along and play with her emotions.

To this day she still sends me messages, we chat etc - and I wonder if this is the bad boy thing you're talking about?

Again... what would say, James Bond do? Leap when he gets a text? James Bond is too fucking busy being awesome. He pauses sometimes from his awesomeness to answer a text.

The thing with attraction is that you want her working for your attention. Just a little. Don't make it too easy. Don't make it too hard. Learn to push and pull. I tend to make a lot of backhanded remarks and open ended statements that make them have to reply if they are interested and keep the interaction going that way, and i set the pace.

NEVER buy a drink for a woman. Women buy James Bond drinks. Again, you have to be the exception to the rule. Not the next clown in line to tell her how pretty she is and offer her a drink. Never flatter. Never compliment (unless its balanced with negative remarks). A cute girl is approached all day, everyday with the same bullshit. Its like telling a cop "thats not mine thats my friends"... "whats your friends name".... "uhm... jim"... . "whats jims last name?"..."uhm,... i'm not sure"... ."you said he was your friend..." etc etc. Its the 50th time he's hear that on that day. the 400th time that week. the 1000th time that month. the 10,000th time that year. Don't be that guy... EVER.

Don't always be available. You're not going to be a bitch anymore. You are going to be a super here. Fun, interesting people who are busy filling their days with awesomeness aren't always available. James Bond is a busy guy. If she wants into his world full of awesomeness, it has to happen on his terms.

Treating women like a princess? Maybe after you are married. AND ONLY if she understands, appreciates it and fully reciprocates. But in dating? Uhm... no. James Bond doesn't treat a woman like a princess. He's too busy running game and fucking them with a martini in his hand.

Women aren't attracted to the nice guy. Remember this.... the nicest guy in the room, is the weakest guy in the room.

This is tough stuff, looks like I seriously have a lot to learn.

On a serious note, I would really be open to some advice?

If she is a hot American woman in her 20's then.....

1. date several women while you are also dating her so you get the stink of those other women on you.
2. she will know it, it is a sixth sense. And she will feel the need to compete with them.

Thank you, maybe this movie has a few life lessons that I need to learn?

I would much rather learn these sort of lessons from a movie than have to mess up with girl after girl just to learn these lessons and mess up with each potential one that might have been something in future?

Attractive women are frequently drawn to the exception to the rule. When you are hit on all day, everyday... you won't notice or care about one more douche bag trying to impress you by kissing your ass. Her defensive wall is up, she won't let you in and its hard to get past.

Act disinterested, and now she's a bit confused and other behaviors kick in and fully take over.

Don't think about today. Think about us 10,000 or 100,000 years ago. Think about us in small tribes of 50-100. Think about what it means when in that small circle of people, and with those limited options, you have been rejected by one of only very few qualified mates.

Deep inside them a panic starts brewing... the panic of being rejected as a potential mate... and then by future mates and having limited options. Imagine how that works in that tribal existence. Everyone knows you were rejected. That signals to everyone that even though mates are scarce, you are so fucked up that you were rejected. I think this basic primitive instinct is at the core of why they start becoming the pursuer when you show a lack of interest. They go into overdrive trying to correct your understanding and perception of them and to make sure no one else see's or perceives the same thing.

The opposite of this is why women are drawn to men with wedding rings. Basically, it signals that the male has successfully gone through the vetting process and has been deemed a suitable mate. This in turn, makes him more attractive to other women.

Just do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it and things will somehow, some way eventually fall into place. While TheSquealer is giving some excellent advice, that's just what works for him. It also actually happens to be quite similar to what has worked for me over the years but it's not the only way. If you want to treat a girl like a princess, that's fine, just figure out a better way to do it. You can read a million articles in like GQ or Details, you can get tons of advice from people on internet forums, or you can read dozens of books but what matters most is personal experience and that takes time.

Regarding hero's, Harvey from the series Suits is a hero to me.

He doesn't take shit, he's never under pressure, he always has the answer and he is one of the best closers, in the show he can take any woman home.

I have in business said to myself, what would Harvey do - as on the show he finds creative ways to deal with issues and he is able to read people, able to handle situations tactfully etc.

Maybe I need to apply this Harvey attitude to more of my life, particularly dating.

Not being the nice guy is going to be an extreme change as that is the only approach I have ever used, and to be honest I haven't got far - not far at all.

Maybe its time for a change, maybe I should show some attitude, let them know I'm awesome and they would be lucky to be with me.

I see myself as always being a gentleman, from bringing her a chair to opening the door etc etc

I once nearly even asked a friend if he would rather let his girlfriend walk so he could give this girl a lift instead - she saw this and it didn't go down well.

Truth is, I could write a decent list of times that I think I've made mistakes with this girl that we're discussing now.

Never try to be what you think someone wants. Be yourself, a short lived relationship isn't a failure it's what was meant to be. Don't force anything, don't change. Smile, be courteous, move on.

The one person I guarantee you will wake up with every morning and need to be satisfied with is yourself.

Are you happy with yourself?

Yeah, it's a good movie. It came out when I was in college. Here's another scene...