My life just recently took an amazing turn, thanks to someone having far too much to drink. I am nearly teatotal, so I was surprised to see something purely good come out of Tequila. You learn something new every day.

You barely drink so I know you remember :glugglug

haha

I barely drink now....

learned from my mistakes....


...my pantless mistakes ;)

Decided to start remodeling my master bedroom by ripping out the ceiling that was already pretty shitty and had to come down when redoing the house.

Cement board is quite strong I came to find as I pounded the life out of the bloody ceiling.

3 hours and ALOT of cement board later the ceiling was on the floor, The corner beads then were ripped out (by hand) and I actually cleaned up the whole freaking mess.

a few days later the new ceiling went up (also totally trashed as well, but a few friends there to hold the new 1/2 inch sheetrock) Looks amazing, I have to say.

Never again will I try that one, god protects iditos and drunken home remolelers I now believe.

I don't ever want to know aboot that, you crazed Canadian.

Please elaborate? :)


....and for those of you that got married while drunk----I feel your pain. When I was much younger and much dumber-- I went on vacation with a bunch of friends and after 2 weeks of partying-decided I wanted to marry a guy I met while there. Fast-forward to the ending: We got married, I never returned home, sent for my stuff and we stayed married for 2.5 years. I have a wedding pic where I look like I want to hurl.... I wish I was at work so I could upload it to the server and let you guys see it. I did not look happy on my wedding day. lol

I have a few.. but one that sticks out in my mind is me waking up in a stolen row boat floating around on the fraser river.. and I was all by myself and couldnt remember how I got there.

I fell head over feet down the cement stairs leading to the platform of the L train subway (1st & 14th Manhattan). A guy behind me said I turned completely over 3 times before I landed on the bottom. I was bleeding from just about every surface of my body, but didn't break any bones.

Went driving tripping on acid & drinking and ended up 12 hours from home with no gas in the car, on a highway that felt like hell. I was bye myself and confused on how the fuk I got there. All I know is I had the song welcome to the jungle memorized when I got home!

:winkwink:

Pissed on myself and went home with a fat barfly all in the same night - next day... she wouldn't leave. Then when she finally left... she started showing up at my apt door all the time for weeks.

I never drank again - now I just smoke out LOL (bit more control)

I know exactly what you mean! Happened to me too. But I didnt memorize shit.
One of my many special moments involved rolling a car while drunk and trying to give myself a haircut. Cept I dont think it was because I was drunk, it was the goddam coffee that kept spilling everywhere.

The good Lowered protects Drunks, Fools and Children.

Two outta three aint bad....

I voted.

Ask a police officer for help to my room. Oh btw im 18 and live in New Jersey. It presented somewhat of a problem to the kind officer.

I was at my sister's wedding reception when this hot chick keeps flirting with me. So I'm totally thinking, where can we go to get busy. But then all of a sudden I don't feel well, so I go into one of the bedrooms to lie down and then I turn on the t.v. I'm flipping channels, only to come across the playboy channel. So I'm watching it, getting a little excited and thinking about the girl I should be with...

Well, I can't move....So....I pull down my pants down by my ankles so I can sort of do my business.

To cut a long story short, I pass out. Everyone was looking for me, then all of sudden I wake up startled only to see my Mom, Dad, Grandparents, and a bunch of other relatives staring at me in shock. I'm fucking half naked with my hand on my dick and a kleenex next to me.





Ok, this was actually a joke or rather a composite of several different experiences. But, I'm sure it happened to someone and boy would that suck!

Good lord...I thought I was a lush.

But the worst thing I've done is throw up in my friend's truck or drunkenly curse out my boyfriend at a gas station.

Guess I better get to work :glugglug

I was having a party and got really drunk. My girlfriend was there but then I noticed that my other girlfriend wasn't so I called her up and had her come over. Half an hour later, I didn't have any girlfriends.

drank too much at a bar in winterpeg when I was 20 years old - felt sick so I went out to my car to pass out in the back seat. It was -35C outside. LUCKILY a friend from the Rez I was living at realized I hadn't come back to the university and went back to the bar and got me before I froze to death.

LOL :1orglaugh

Stumbled out of a bar after closing time, triped on my way out the door, fell into a cop that was nearby who was very helpful to assist me to my feet, throw my drunken ass into his patrol car and haul me off to the drunk tank. (Rum and Coke = 2 Left Feet.)

:1orglaugh I haven't laughed that hard for weeks. Thought I was gonna die! You got me!:321GFY

Went out in a Cigarette boat in Key West in 1988 with a bunch of friends that were also drunk and we ALMOST got to Cuba before the Coast Guard caught up with us. They were not very happy with us. One of the sailors said that a Cuban patrol boat was on the way and they got us out of there quick. Nothing like sobering up in a Coast Guard office with a bunch of lawsuits telling you and your friends how stupid you were.

After 12 hours of shit they ended up letting us go with just a warning. It was worth it. Good thing they never found all the weed we had stashed on the boat! :thumbsup

http://koti.welho.com/jpivo/me.jpg


there's a lot worse things, but they're not recorded.

...oh, and my birthday is in a week.. I hope to record something fun, either on video or just regular camera.

I was in the passenger seat of a car.... giving my BF a BJ, he was driving......

My Fag Hag was in the back shoving a bottle of poppers in my nose and a bottle of stoly down my throat. We got pulled up and the copper didt know what to charge us with and let us go!

there is not enough space on gfy to list my drunken accompishments

LMFAO
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

A friend of mine had a party at his place and kept ranting on about how he'd always wanted a convertible. So a couple of us took some old-fashioned can openers from his kitchen and started trying to cut a hole in the top of our host's car. Anyway, my friend came outside and discovered what we were doing and instead of being angry he went and got his angle grinder and welding torch "to do the job properly". Needless to say we totally fucked-up his car, but at least he finally got his convertible :winkwink:

the other day a friend of mine went to the official premiere of 'jackass - the movie' in amsterdam. it was a premiere so all the drinks were for free, so he was drinking his ass out... anyhow, end the premiere-party... he totally pissed, totally excited because he was joking around with jeff tremaine (director of the movie)... then when they had to go, he -- completely breeded by the movie -- decided to *jump* of the cinemastairs. well, he landed on his head pretty much... later that night when i met him, he had a huge bandage wrapped messy around his head, because he had a giant wound.

that was just the start. he just kept drinking like a maniac, and in this place we were hanging out you could also play darts... so we played a couple of games. and at a certain moment he said "he guys, why don't you throw the darts in my ass instead of in the board." we were like "yeah sure"... he "no i'm serious", he drops his pants and shows us his hairy ass :1orglaugh ... we still didn't dare to actually throw a dart because we just couldn't imagine he was serious... but he kept persisting and at a certain moment we were all throwing darts *into* his ass... they actually went *in* his flesh and kept hanging in it... sooooo nasty... at the end there was blood all over his bum and he was only enjoying it even more! i've never had such a laugh as that night.

and finally; he started with stairs, so he ended with stairs... he grabbed one of my friends and tried to push him off the stairway... the guy pushed back ofcourse (all friendly-like, just for fun)... they ended up rolling (literally!) down 6 consecutive stairways (the place was on the 4th floor)... i actually saw their heads and knees and whatever banging against the iron sides etc etc... soooo sick...
then when they finally got downstairs, they started banging eachother with all kinds of litter that was deposited on the streets that day... so litter all over the streets, and that was in the center of amsterdam.
next a limousine drives by, he's running towards it, the limo slows down and he jumps on the car's hood and sits down there. the limo's driver totally freaks out and almost hits him off his car... well he steps off, guess what's standing directly behind the limo? yes indeed, a police car! i was totally laughing my ass out.

next day, i met him again and he had wounds all over his head and ofcourse, red dots on his bum :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

damn, that was a good night... real-time jackass :thumbsup

tim

In High School, at the end of the 3rd year, it's kind of a tradition in Norway to drink for 14 days straight.

We thought it'd be fun, as a prank, to paint a barrel black with yellow "nuclear signs" on the sides of it, and put it on the beach..

Now this place has a huge air-base for F-16s and AC-130s, and military activity is very high around there, the beach was just 5 mins from the airbase... Turns out the barrel thing wasnt such a good idea afterall, they sent out choppers, and put the base into alert etc.. We sobered up pretty good at the police station...

No More Stories? I need a good laugh right now...

when i still lived at home throw up in my room on the floor and tried to vacuum it up, needless to say the vacuum cleaner never worked again, mom wasn't happy:)

Did it in Reno myself, never did like Vegas. Course the drunken marriage kinda ruined Reno for me.....it was even on Valentines day - how fucking romantic is that!!!

Banged a fat chick on her period that I met at a bar.

I havent drank since.

*shudders*

I remember some french guy giving me jello shots,

and then I talked to a police man who checked my id, at the party,

then I walked half way home some how,

and my friend saw me from a bus and got off and walked me the rest of the way,

we stoped for a minute at his house, were I proceded to vomit on his stairs and get yelled at by him mom at 4 am

I then got walked the rest of the way home,

were I fell face first in the hall way,

but luckly my mom was there to help me vomit in the bathroom,

were she noticed red stuff comming from my mouth, which she though was blood, which got my dad out of bed,

and well they almost took me to the hospital, but I was able to explain it was just red jello shots comming, up,

also I think on the way home i tryed to steal a bike,

also, once, I tryed throwing, a stink bomb into a parked car, but I missed, and then picked it up and burnt my fucking fingure

also, i was walking hoem with 2 girls once, when these thugs came up to me, and were like what the fuck are you doing,
because one of the girl had knocked over a mail box,

and I was like chill dude and he was like dont tell me to chill mother fucker, and hit me in the head with a baseball bat, and knocked me out of my shoes,

but I ok now,
thanks for your consern, I no longer drink, I just smoke weed,
and sit in front of the computer stoned, where I try not to hurt myself

Used to roommate with the members of a band I was in about 6 years ago and we had everything set up in the living room for recording... I blacked out only to get 'awaken' by the guitar player punching me and yelling at me to stop... I was pissing on his effects pedal...a big multifunction one, at that. Then I went upstairs to my room, passed out and woke up the next morning to find him STILL trying to clean his pedal. I felt sooo bad, but amazingly, he understood that I had blacked out and wasn't mad at me... just mad at what I had done ( it had never happened to me before, so he could tell I wasn't myself ). I'll never drink Tequila again. True story.

:helpme

I do NOT believe..
Anyhow, Not me, but a close friend of mine once got the trick with a god looking babe in a bar. It was dark and everything, she looked good, they hang out, they connected and all. She had REAL good red lips and all, they kissed and had kewl time. To bad he was a trans as my friend discovered when he sliced his hand down her leg.
My friend still wakes up in the middle of the night screaming NO.
TFB!

**** I feel pitty ****

<br><br>

On my 21st birthday I was determined to do my 21 shots, starting at 730p to 1230a, I had 27 drinks and I made my 21 shots. After being carried out of the bar, not wanting to leave at all, we went back to my apartment. I wanted to go to another bar just down the street and my friends said no and I told them fine, I was going to drive. So, they weren't going to let me drive or go, but they wanted to watch me attempt to get into my car. Well, I never did and I fell on the pavement but I was too drunk and had zero reaction time to put my hands down, so I just face planted. The next morning I wake up cause I have a test, and my face is killing me, not remembering anything that happened past right before leaving the bar, I asked my friend what happened to my face. She said, "You like to tell everyone you got in a bar fight, everyone else says you face planted in the parking lot." Black eye and scraps on the face...

once , when I was too drunk to fuck, I went to council and vote for my favourite politic leader!
shame on me:feels-hot