On This Day 1981 Years Ago The Jews Killed The Christ

[Mutt]

Yeshua we hardly knew ye.

Those who would condemn the Jews should rather thank them for its only through the criminal conviction and crucifixion that Jesus is resurrected and ascends to Heaven to sit by the right hand of God.

NO JEWS = NO SALVATION FOR MANKIND, THIS SHOULD BE HUG A JEW DAY.

Now on with the celebrations, let us commence with the eating of chocolate rabbits!!!

[arock10]

Zombie Jesus Eve is shorter

[SilentKnight]

We celebrate the Easter with a big spaghetti dinner.

To honour the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[Struggle4Bucks]

Originally Posted by Mutt

On This Day 1981 Years Ago The Jews Killed The Christ

And that's why we're eating eggs all day... i love it when it all makes sense...

[Struggle4Bucks]

Originally Posted by Mutt

Now on with the celebrations, let us commence with the eating of chocolate rabbits!!!

And everyone... don't forget to save half of the chocolat rabbit for your girl...
I forgot... now my ass; back; neck and nipples hurt...

Jesus is not the only one who suffered on this day...

[nikki99]

hail to Jesus

[EddyTheDog]

I suppose chocolate Jews might be in bad taste - If you will pardon the pun...

[Grapesoda]

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by Grapesoda

[IMG]

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by EddyTheDog

I suppose chocolate Jews might be in bad taste - If you will pardon the pun...

I would so buy a milk chocolate Moses.

[baddog]

Originally Posted by Struggle4Bucks

And that's why we're eating eggs all day... i love it when it all makes sense...

No. That does not happen until 3 days later.

[TheSquealer]

Originally Posted by Mutt

Yeshua we hardly knew ye.

Those who would condemn the Jews should rather thank them for its only through the criminal conviction and crucifixion that Jesus is resurrected and ascends to Heaven to sit by the right hand of God.

I used to have a lot of uncomfortable questions at the private christian school i went to when i was little.

"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."

I was in the second/third grade and I was like "wait... what? he killed his own child? is that legal? what about the 10 Commandments? why did he do that?... oh because he loved... what?! huh? why kill his own child?... if my dad kills me is it because he loves me?... i'm really afraid to go home now. I don't understand any of this but now i'm scared. Can i call my mom?"

It was always awkward all the time.

[Struggle4Bucks]

Originally Posted by baddog

No. That does not happen until 3 days later.

Owh... well i guess i'm going to buy some new eggs then....

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

Ricky Gervais? Atheist Easter Message: ?I?m A Good Christian?

The title of this one is a little misleading, or at least cryptic. I am of course not a good Christian in the sense that I believe that Jesus was half man, half God, but I do believe I am a good Christian compared to a lot of Christians.

It's not that I don't believe that the teachings of Jesus wouldn't make this a better world if they were followed. It's just that they are rarely followed.

Gandhi summed it up really. He said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

I have always felt this way, even when I believed in God, and in a weird way I feel I am still a pretty good "Christian" who doesn't believe in God.

So many Christians think that because they believe in the right God, they are automatically good and have a one-way ticket to everlasting life. Dare I say it but I suspect this is their main reason for believing. I've heard so many "believers" say, "Well, since there is no way of being sure whether there is a God or not, it's better to believe in God than not, because that way, if you're wrong it doesn't matter and if you're right you get everlasting life." Win:win.

This is of course Pascal's Wager, which assumes that God if he exists would reward blind faith above logic and living a good life as an atheist.

To the Christians' God by the way, it's just as bad to believe in the wrong God as no God at all. The idea of other Gods is of course ridiculous to Christians. Supernatural poppycock. As if there was ever a Zeus; stupid, ancient, unenlightened superstition. And even if there are other Gods (which of course there aren't) then the Christians' God is the best. Hardest, smartest...just better. He would laugh at Zeus and call him a Greek bender. (I doubt that God is racist and homophobic but the Bible isn't clear. Some bits go on about love and equality and others say you shouldn't trust certain types and that laying down with a man as you would with a woman is punishable by death and is a bit sick and evil.)

So remember. If you are gay you are "Bumming for Satan" basically. (That would make quite a good T-shirt.)

Jesus was a man. (And if you forget all that rubbish about being half God, and believe the non-supernatural acts accredited to him, he was a man whose wise words many other men would still follow.) His message was usually one of forgiveness and kindness.

These are wonderful virtues, but I have seen them discarded by many so-called God-fearers when it suits them. They cherry pick from their "rulebook" basically. I have seen such cruelty and prejudice performed in the name of Christianity (and many other religions for that matter) that it makes me wonder if there has been a bit too much selective reading and reinterpretation of the doctrines.

God or not, if I could change one thing for a better world, it would be for all mankind to adhere to this little gem: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I assure you, no more stones would ever be thrown.

So maybe we should go back to basics to find out where it all got confused...

The Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments are found in the Bible's Old Testament; Exodus, Chapter 20. They were given directly by God to the people of Israel at Mount Sinai after He had delivered them from slavery in Egypt:

"And God spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God.'"

So let's take the test. How many of these have you broken?

ONE

"You shall have no other gods before Me."

I definitely do not. Excellent. I get one point.

TWO

"You shall not make for yourself a carved image -- any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth."

This basically means don't make or worship a religious statue or bow to it thinking that it's holy. Tick. Another point to me.

THREE

"You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain."

I never do. But let me explain something. Most people think that The Third Commandment means that they shouldn't use his name as a swear word, e.g. shouting, "Oh God!" when they stub their toe instead of, "Oh Fuck!"

This is not the case (although I love the idea that God would rather them shout "Fuck" than "God". That makes him cool in my book. But no.)

The commandment could equally be, "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in 'vanity'," e.g. when your enemy is hurt or defeated saying, "that's God's wrath," or when you win an award saying, "thank God." This is using his name in vanity. It's suggesting that you KNOW that God helped you win that award because you deserved it more, or because he was on your side. It's always tickled me that God would have a favourite actor at The Golden Globes.

Anyway I get another point. I think most non-atheists will lose a point here.

FOUR

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy."

Before we score this we need to discover what it really means when God commands us to keep the Sabbath day holy. In understanding our answer, and the true intent of God's word, it doesn't matter what day of the week we celebrate the Sabbath. There were no calendars when God created the heavens and the earth so we don't know what day he started and ended. Don't let the "day" become more important than the "intent".

If we look at the portion of The Ten Commandments which refers to this, Exodus 20:8-11, it seems to be very specific;

8 "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 "Six days you shall labour and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant or your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you. 10 "For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and made it holy. 11 "The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

According to the Bible, God commanded us to keep it holy. But what does that really mean? Work is basically referring to that which we do to earn a living, or in working around the house, or any labour we participate in daily. So, if we never worked at all would that mean every day was holy? No. This absolutely is not being holy. In various places in the Bible we are told of our need to work, for in our work we honour God. So...basically you have to work for the equivalent of six days a week with a day off.

I do this. I get another point.

FIVE

"Honour your father and your mother."

I think I get a point if anyone does with this one.

SIX

"You shall not murder."

Nope. Tick.

SEVEN

"You shall not commit adultery."

Nope. Tick.

EIGHT

"You shall not steal."

Nope. Tick.

NINE

"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour."

Nope. Tick.

TEN

"You shall not covet your neighbour's house; you shall not covet your neighbour's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbour's."

Nope. Tick. Another point for me.

Not bad for an atheist.

I make that 10 out of 10.

How did you do?

Even if this doesn't prove I am a good Christian it does prove that the Bible is a bit inconsistent, open to interpretation, and a little intolerant.

This is not peculiar to Christianity to be fair. And I like to be fair. Because unlike ALL religions, as an atheist, I treat ALL religions equally.

Have a pleasant Easter everyone...



ADG

[Magnetron]

Laugh it up ....

.... but when the Baby Jesus pushes away that boulder and goes Pet Semetary on your ankles and asses, don't say you weren't warned.

[Rikki-Nyx]

The Jews are still waiting...............

[SilentKnight]

Originally Posted by Magnetron

Laugh it up ....

.... but when the Baby Jesus pushes away that boulder and goes Pet Semetary on your ankles and asses, don't say you weren't warned.

Still coping with the revelation there is no Santa, either.

[wehateporn]

It is the time of sacrifice

[ilnjscb]

I'm looking for the Jews in this ... looking ... looking ...

Is it possible the Roman empire killed him, and then when they wrote the bible 400 years later at the council of Nicea ordered by Constantine who had most of his family executed they decided to throw someone else under the bus? Just a question.

[seeandsee]

Jesus wanted to die... He know all

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

I'm looking for the Jews in this ... looking ... looking ...

Is it possible the Roman empire killed him, and then when they wrote the bible 400 years later at the council of Nicea ordered by Constantine who had most of his family executed they decided to throw someone else under the bus? Just a question.

The 'official' story according to the gospels is that Pontius Pilate, the Roman prefect in charge of running the province of Judea, found Jesus innocent of the charges brought against him by the Jews. The angry mob of Jews kept shouting for the death penalty. Pilate then has an idea which might save Jesus, he gives the Jews a choice, he will either set a serial rapist/murderer named Barbaras free or Jesus, hoping the Jews won't want a murderer rapist out on the streets. The Jews want no part of the deal, they get more unruly and louder, Jesus must die. Pilate fears this is going to turn into a riot and it's his job to keep order. To signify that he shall bear no responsibility for the crucifixion of Jesus he washes his hands before the crowd. Jesus is sentenced to death, only under threat of insurrection by the Jews.

The gospels were written in the first century AD, by Jews, so it wasn't the Church hundreds of years later throwing the Jews under the bus.

Jews today would just say that they don't believe any of this happened at all, but of course will stick to their belief that 1000 years before Jesus God held an in person meeting with Moses where he gave Moses, The Law.

[baddog]

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

I'm looking for the Jews in this ... looking ... looking ...

Is it possible the Roman empire killed him, and then when they wrote the bible 400 years later at the council of Nicea ordered by Constantine who had most of his family executed they decided to throw someone else under the bus? Just a question.

Anything is possible; but . . .

Originally Posted by Mutt

The 'official' story according to the gospels is that Pontius Pilate, the Roman prefect in charge of running the province of Judea, found Jesus innocent of the charges brought against him by the Jews. The angry mob of Jews kept shouting for the death penalty. Pilate then has an idea which might save Jesus, he gives the Jews a choice, he will either set a serial rapist/murderer named Barbaras free or Jesus, hoping the Jews won't want a murderer rapist out on the streets. The Jews want no part of the deal, they get more unruly and louder, Jesus must die. Pilate fears this is going to turn into a riot and it's his job to keep order. To signify that he shall bear no responsibility for the crucifixion of Jesus he washes his hands before the crowd. Jesus is sentenced to death, only under threat of insurrection by the Jews.

The gospels were written in the first century AD, by Jews, so it wasn't the Church hundreds of years later throwing the Jews under the bus.

Jews today would just say that they don't believe any of this happened at all, but of course will stick to their belief that 1000 years before Jesus God held an in person meeting with Moses where he gave Moses, The Law.

^This^

[JA$ON]

[nico-t]

fairy tales are harmless fun, unless people think it really happened..

[MrTrollkien]

Originally Posted by nico-t

fairy tales are harmless fun, unless people think it really happened..

[Nice_Nick]

I was thinking this the other day.

You can tell me to stop thinking if you like. I mean, I know the story of Jesus but I am not some religious nut or anything, but anyway..

So, Jesus was nailed to a cross on good friday and was resurrected on the Sunday. I presume that means he is no longer dead?

So when did Jesus actually die (for real)?

[thommy]

Originally Posted by Mutt

Yeshua we hardly knew ye.

Those who would condemn the Jews should rather thank them for its only through the criminal conviction and crucifixion that Jesus is resurrected and ascends to Heaven to sit by the right hand of God.

NO JEWS = NO SALVATION FOR MANKIND, THIS SHOULD BE HUG A JEW DAY.

Now on with the celebrations, let us commence with the eating of chocolate rabbits!!!

you should change the topic in 1981 years ago, the jews killed one of them.
what a mess that jesus was not a christian but he was jewish.

i still do not know, what i have to think about, when the god of one religion is believing in another religion - up to i get a logic answer i prefer to be atheist.

and btw: eastern is an old german festive and not the day when they killed jesus, because if they killed him on a special day, they should not change the date every year :-)

greez

thommy

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by Nice_Nick

I was thinking this the other day.

You can tell me to stop thinking if you like. I mean, I know the story of Jesus but I am not some religious nut or anything, but anyway..

So, Jesus was nailed to a cross on good friday and was resurrected on the Sunday. I presume that means he is no longer dead?

So when did Jesus actually die (for real)?

According to the gospels and Acts of the Apostles Jesus after his resurrection lived again for 40 days, many people supposedly saw and spoke to him. He took 11 of his apostles, no idea why one was missing, perhaps a dental appointment, to a place named Bethany where he gave them instructions and then right before their eyes Jesus ascended into the clouds.


"And when he had said these things, as they were looking, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight."

So all you doubters and atheists, there were 11 eyewitnesses, pretty hard to say it didn't happen when 11 people saw it with their own eyes.

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by thommy

what a mess that jesus was not a christian but he was jewish.

There was no Christian religion, it developed after Jesus' death and for quite some time it was a Jewish cult, there were many other cults of Judaism. I'm not sure when the real break into two distinct religions happened, it was probably gradual.

[Nice_Nick]

So he actually died around the end of May?

[thommy]

Originally Posted by Mutt

There was no Christian religion, it developed after Jesus' death and for quite some time it was a Jewish cult, there were many other cults of Judaism. I'm not sure when the real break into two distinct religions happened, it was probably gradual.

oh fuck - that means chritians where too late ????

what a mess - hope they are faster next time :-)

greez

thommy

[oppoten]

[oppoten]

[marcop]

You know what makes no sense? My assistant went away for Easter, and he's Jewish.

[Spunky]

Jesus is lord!

[JuicyBunny]

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

I'm looking for the Jews in this ... looking ... looking ...

Is it possible the Roman empire killed him, and then when they wrote the bible 400 years later at the council of Nicea ordered by Constantine who had most of his family executed they decided to throw someone else under the bus? Just a question.

Nope. Jesus pissed off the rabbis running the prostitutes, gambling and loan-sharking games from within the synagogues. Catholic church and academia will confirm this. Look it up.

[CaptainHowdy]

Those fucking guys created a timeless symbol, it will take more than a couple of cynical dirtbags to take it down...

[slapass]

Originally Posted by baddog

No. That does not happen until 3 days later.

So why is it only 2 days later?

[SilentKnight]

Originally Posted by oppoten

That guy personifies the creepiness of some of these religious nutjobs.

[DAMNMAN]

Fictional jesus!!!!!

[ilnjscb]

Originally Posted by Mutt

The 'official' story according to the gospels is that Pontius Pilate, the Roman prefect in charge of running the province of Judea, found Jesus innocent of the charges brought against him by the Jews. The angry mob of Jews kept shouting for the death penalty. Pilate then has an idea which might save Jesus, he gives the Jews a choice, he will either set a serial rapist/murderer named Barbaras free or Jesus, hoping the Jews won't want a murderer rapist out on the streets. The Jews want no part of the deal, they get more unruly and louder, Jesus must die. Pilate fears this is going to turn into a riot and it's his job to keep order. To signify that he shall bear no responsibility for the crucifixion of Jesus he washes his hands before the crowd. Jesus is sentenced to death, only under threat of insurrection by the Jews.

The gospels were written in the first century AD, by Jews, so it wasn't the Church hundreds of years later throwing the Jews under the bus.

Jews today would just say that they don't believe any of this happened at all, but of course will stick to their belief that 1000 years before Jesus God held an in person meeting with Moses where he gave Moses, The Law.

The gospels, as "written" in the first century AD <headsmack> the earliest was Mark in 70-90AD, which has two different endings, one of which was tacked on in ....400 (see above).

I refer you to the death of President Kennedy, in our modern age, with pictures, film, etc. Many people have differing theories about what happened and why. Now, assume no pics, no media, and you're writing about it 50 years later, all from word of mouth, possibly with no witnesses. Matthew and Luke use Mark as a source.

Mark itself was created from "a variety of oral sources, including collections of miracle stories, controversy stories, parables, and a passion narrative, which he rewrote (scholars debate by how much) and connected with introductions and conclusions; possibly the first connected narrative was not the gospel we know but an earlier proto-Mark, which underwent one or more revisions before the modern version was produced"

The Roman empire, especially under Constantine, used Christianity for its own purposes.

As to the "when Christians became Christians', they were before Mark was written, because the author translated the stories he compiled into Greek and explained Aramaic terms.

[michael.kickass]

Cool sci-fi story

[SykkBoy]

Did someone say Chocolate Jesus?

[JFK]

Originally Posted by SykkBoy

Did someone say Chocolate Jesus?

Thread saver

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

The gospels, as "written" in the first century AD <headsmack> the earliest was Mark in 70-90AD, which has two different endings, one of which was tacked on in ....400 (see above).

Is not 70-90AD in the 1st century AD?

[Juicy D. Links]

are those schwatxerrrrr bunnies???

[Juicy D. Links]

schwartza !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[baddog]

Originally Posted by Mutt

. . . He took 11 of his apostles, no idea why one was missing, perhaps a dental appointment,

The 12th was Judas and he had killed himself by then.

Originally Posted by thommy

what a mess that jesus was not a christian but he was jewish.

Pretty impossible to be a member of a religion that was formed after you died; don't you think?

Originally Posted by slapass

So why is it only 2 days later?

Sorry, on the third day.

[Mutt]

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

schwartza !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[johnnyloadproductions]

I plan on planting my anit-christ seed in an oven-dodging jew!