"I Haven't Been Penetrated in Years"

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  • fitzmulti
    I Like Depth Of Field!
    • Jan 2003
    • 14861

    #1

    "I Haven't Been Penetrated in Years"

    {i hope somehow this isn't a duplicate post - "search" didn't find anything! LOL!}

    http://gawker.com/florida-woman-call...etr-1530885032

    An allegedly inebriated widow from a sleepy section of Florida's West Coast was arrested last Friday after calling 911 twice in search of a cop to do "extra duty" for her, then rubbing an officer who was dispatched to her house while telling him: "I am so horny."

    Via NBC affiliate WBBH-TV:

    Police say the initial 911 call happened just after 6 p.m., when Maria Montenez-Colon complained that she wanted her Corvette back.

    When the officer arrived at the Almar Drive home, he said Montenez-Colon was very drunk.

    The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing.

    Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."

    The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.

    Montenez-Colon's response was "You can [expletive] me," according to the report.

    The officer calmly explained that Montenez-Colon had legally ceded the Corvette to her stepson as she attempted to rub his chest. He left, but Montenez-Colon reportedly still burned for... justice.

    Less than an hour later, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, complaining the officer who was at her home "pissed her off."

    The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.

    Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, "He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry."

    When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

    Montenez-Colon was booked for misusing the emergency line. It's her fifth arrest since the beginning of 2013.


    www.SexyGirlsCash.com


    CONTACT // FITZMULTI AT GMAIL.COM //
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  • dyna mo
    just a fucking jerk
    • Dec 2008
    • 68184

    #2
    L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

    Comment

    • mineistaken
      See signature :)
      • Apr 2007
      • 29656

      #3
      Originally posted by dyna mo
      L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

      Comment

      • _Richard_
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Oct 2006
        • 30989

        #4
        Originally posted by dyna mo
        L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

        Comment

        • mineistaken
          See signature :)
          • Apr 2007
          • 29656

          #5
          Originally posted by fitzmulti
          Montenez-Colon was booked for misusing the emergency line.
          What about sexual assault or something like that?
          Not that it is a big deal, it just may sound like officer is not doing his job (not booking for offense made).

          Comment

          • Babaganoosh
            ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥
            • Nov 2001
            • 15841

            #6
            How is it that nobody made a joke about penetrating the Colon yet...
            I like pie.

            Comment

            • mineistaken
              See signature :)
              • Apr 2007
              • 29656

              #7
              Green nicks' thread

              Comment

              • Creatine
                Confirmed User
                • Apr 2013
                • 1060

                #8
                Desperate times come for desperate measures.

                Comment

                • Sly
                  Let's do some business!
                  • Sep 2004
                  • 31377

                  #9
                  New show on ABC: Desperate Widows.
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                  Comment

                  • brassmonkey
                    Pay It Forward
                    • Sep 2005
                    • 77385

                    #10
                    Originally posted by dyna mo
                    L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.
                    TRUMP 2026 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law!
                    DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

                    Comment

                    • L-Pink
                      working on my tan
                      • Mar 2005
                      • 39151

                      #11
                      Originally posted by dyna mo
                      L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.


                      … That's some funny shit right there!

                      .

                      Comment

                      • SilentKnight
                        Megan Fox's fluffer
                        • Oct 2005
                        • 24812

                        #12
                        Originally posted by dyna mo
                        L-Pink is currently google mapping this story and grabbing his car keys.

                        Comment

                        • alwayshornyasfuck86
                          Registered User
                          • Feb 2014
                          • 37

                          #13
                          horny ass oldie


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                          Comment

                          • Spunky
                            I need a beer
                            • Jun 2002
                            • 133978

                            #14
                            In hate it when they treat me like I'm a piece of meat

                            Comment

                            • John-ACWM
                              Work Work Work
                              • Nov 2008
                              • 20060

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Babaganoosh
                              How is it that nobody made a joke about penetrating the Colon yet...
                              noticed the weird name too.

                              Comment

                              • adultchatpay
                                Let's Make Money
                                • Dec 2008
                                • 8775

                                #16
                                She can call other number for sex.

                                Comment

                                • seeandsee
                                  Check SIG!
                                  • Mar 2006
                                  • 50945

                                  #17
                                  hot line for fast police penetration yeah
                                  BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year

                                  Contact here

                                  Comment

                                  • CaptainHowdy
                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                    • Dec 2004
                                    • 94031

                                    #18

                                    Comment

                                    • brassmonkey
                                      Pay It Forward
                                      • Sep 2005
                                      • 77385

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by fitzmulti
                                      {i hope somehow this isn't a duplicate post - "search" didn't find anything! LOL!}

                                      http://gawker.com/florida-woman-call...etr-1530885032

                                      An allegedly inebriated widow from a sleepy section of Florida's West Coast was arrested last Friday after calling 911 twice in search of a cop to do "extra duty" for her, then rubbing an officer who was dispatched to her house while telling him: "I am so horny."

                                      Via NBC affiliate WBBH-TV:

                                      Police say the initial 911 call happened just after 6 p.m., when Maria Montenez-Colon complained that she wanted her Corvette back.

                                      When the officer arrived at the Almar Drive home, he said Montenez-Colon was very drunk.

                                      The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing.

                                      Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, "I haven't been penetrated in years," and "I am so horny."

                                      The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.

                                      Montenez-Colon's response was "You can [expletive] me," according to the report.

                                      The officer calmly explained that Montenez-Colon had legally ceded the Corvette to her stepson as she attempted to rub his chest. He left, but Montenez-Colon reportedly still burned for... justice.

                                      Less than an hour later, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, complaining the officer who was at her home "pissed her off."

                                      The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.

                                      Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, "He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry."

                                      When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?"

                                      Montenez-Colon was booked for misusing the emergency line. It's her fifth arrest since the beginning of 2013.

                                      hotlinked think this story would be if she looked like megan fox??? hmmmm


                                      hotlinked
                                      Last edited by brassmonkey; 02-27-2014, 05:00 AM.
                                      TRUMP 2026 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law!
                                      DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

                                      Comment

                                      • NemesisEnforcer
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Aug 2003
                                        • 2122

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by fitzmulti
                                        An allegedly inebriated widow from a sleepy section of Florida's West Coast was arrested last Friday after calling 911 twice in search of a cop to do "extra duty" for her, then rubbing an officer who was dispatched to her house while telling him: "I am so horny."
                                        A cop, that's where she messed up. She should've called the fire department.
                                        The Only Time When Success Comes Before Work Is In A Dictionary.

                                        Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

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