Good for a Laugh- Seen it before to bad! - GoFuckYourself.com

Mike69 · 03-05-2003, 06:11 PM

The Point System
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing
with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand
just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans..-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
Any other response.....-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned
_expression.....! 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying" well, what
do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200
ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

Cheshire · 03-05-2003, 06:13 PM

Ha Ha

Shut Up

SilverTab · 03-05-2003, 06:16 PM

Never saw this one before...

Alky · 03-05-2003, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
Ha Ha

Shut Up

watch your tone young lady.

Marcus · 03-05-2003, 06:19 PM

Those are great

JayJay · 03-05-2003, 06:56 PM

Good Boy

OzKaNoz · 03-05-2003, 07:03 PM

LOL,

Oz

B.Diker · 03-05-2003, 07:07 PM

javok · 03-05-2003, 07:13 PM

Lol

but not true of course

Mike69 · 03-06-2003, 01:18 AM

Here is an other..... lol

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2003 version)
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12.She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

03-05-2003, 06:11 PM	#1
Mike69 Canadian, nuff said eh? Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Under the coffee maker! Posts: 755	Good for a Laugh- Seen it before to bad! The Point System For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed....+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1 You leave the toilet seat up.....-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2 You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...+5 In the snow .....+8 But return with beer.....-5 And no liners.....-25 You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 You pummel it with a six iron.....+10 It's her cat.....-40 AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire party.....0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy.....-2 Named Tiffany.....-4 Tiffany is a dancer.....-10 With breast implants.....-18 HER BIRTHDAY You remember her birthday.....0 You buy a card and flowers.....0 You take her out to dinner.....0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1 Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3 It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10 A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.....0 The pal is happily married.....+1 The pal is single.....-7 He drives a Ferrari.....-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15 A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie.....+2 You take her to a movie she likes.....+4 You take her to a movie you hate.....+6 You take her to a movie you like.....-2 It's called Death Cop III.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans..-15 YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800 THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding.....-10 You reply, "Where?".....-35 You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100 Any other response.....-20 COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned _expression.....! 0 You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5 You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50 You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying" well, what do you think I should do?".....-100 You have fallen asleep.....-200 ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH You talk.....-100 You don't talk.....-150 You spend time with her......-200 You don't spend time with her.....-500 You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000 GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

03-05-2003, 06:13 PM	#2
Cheshire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Rosen-Villin Posts: 5,738	Ha Ha Shut Up __________________ just a little bit naughty

03-05-2003, 06:16 PM	#3
SilverTab Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: MTL Posts: 5,060	Never saw this one before... __________________ mmm my sig was too big... no more cool animation but hey still! need php? ICQ: 94586959

03-05-2003, 07:03 PM	#7
OzKaNoz Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Deep With In Your Mind Posts: 1,834	LOL, Oz __________________ Techie Media Web Hosting

03-05-2003, 06:19 PM	#5
Marcus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 3,472	Those are great

03-05-2003, 06:56 PM	#6
JayJay Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 3,739	Good Boy

03-05-2003, 07:07 PM	#8
B.Diker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 1,286

03-05-2003, 07:13 PM	#9
javok Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Montevideo, Uruguay Posts: 708	Lol but not true of course

03-06-2003, 01:18 AM	#10
Mike69 Canadian, nuff said eh? Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Under the coffee maker! Posts: 755	Here is an other..... lol HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2003 version) 1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. 2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. 3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. 4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. 5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. 6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED. 7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. 8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. 9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE. 10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. 11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR. 12.She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.