Good for a Laugh- Seen it before to bad!

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  • Mike69
    Canadian, nuff said eh?
    • Jul 2000
    • 755

    #1

    Good for a Laugh- Seen it before to bad!

    The Point System
    For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing
    with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand
    just how it works.
    Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:
    Make the woman happy.
    Do something she likes, and you get points.
    Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
    You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
    Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
    Here is a guide to the points system:
    SIMPLE DUTIES
    You make the bed....+1
    You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
    You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
    You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
    When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.-1
    When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
    You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...+5
    In the snow .....+8
    But return with beer.....-5
    And no liners.....-25
    You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
    You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
    It's her cat.....-40
    AT THE PARTY
    You stay by her side the entire party.....0
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
    drinking buddy.....-2
    Named Tiffany.....-4
    Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
    With breast implants.....-18
    HER BIRTHDAY
    You remember her birthday.....0
    You buy a card and flowers.....0
    You take her out to dinner.....0
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
    Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
    And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
    It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
    painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10
    A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
    Go with a pal.....0
    The pal is happily married.....+1
    The pal is single.....-7
    He drives a Ferrari.....-10
    With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
    A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
    You take her to a movie.....+2
    You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
    You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
    You take her to a movie you like.....-2
    It's called Death Cop III.....-3
    Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans..-15
    YOUR PHYSIQUE
    You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
    You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
    You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
    Hawaiian shirts.....-30
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800
    THE BIG QUESTION
    She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
    You hesitate in responding.....-10
    You reply, "Where?".....-35
    You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
    Any other response.....-20
    COMMUNICATION
    When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned
    _expression.....! 0
    You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
    You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
    You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying" well, what
    do you think I should do?".....-100
    You have fallen asleep.....-200
    ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
    You talk.....-100
    You don't talk.....-150
    You spend time with her......-200
    You don't spend time with her.....-500
    You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
    GAME OVER - YOU LOSE
  • Cheshire
    Confirmed User
    • Jul 2001
    • 5738

    #2
    Ha Ha

    Shut Up






    just a little bit naughty

    Comment

    • SilverTab
      Confirmed User
      • Nov 2001
      • 5060

      #3
      Never saw this one before...
      mmm my sig was too big... no more cool animation
      but hey still! need php? ICQ: 94586959

      Comment

      • Alky
        Confirmed User
        • Apr 2002
        • 5651

        #4
        Originally posted by Cheshire
        Ha Ha

        Shut Up
        watch your tone young lady.

        Comment

        • Marcus
          Confirmed User
          • Jul 2001
          • 3472

          #5
          Those are great

          Comment

          • JayJay
            Confirmed User
            • Jun 2002
            • 3739

            #6
            Good Boy

            Comment

            • OzKaNoz
              Confirmed User
              • Jan 2001
              • 1834

              #7
              LOL,

              Oz
              Techie Media Web Hosting

              Comment

              • B.Diker
                Confirmed User
                • Oct 2001
                • 1286

                #8

                Comment

                • javok
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2001
                  • 708

                  #9
                  Lol

                  but not true of course
                  dickrate.com

                  Comment

                  • Mike69
                    Canadian, nuff said eh?
                    • Jul 2000
                    • 755

                    #10
                    Here is an other..... lol

                    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2003 version)
                    1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
                    2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
                    3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
                    4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
                    5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
                    6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
                    7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
                    8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
                    9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
                    10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
                    11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
                    12.She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

                    Comment

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