How is anybody supposed to use this shit?

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  • iSpyCams
    Amateur Gynecologist
    • May 2009
    • 4436

    #1

    How is anybody supposed to use this shit?

    Bought a new laptop last month, the return window is approaching and I think this will be the first computer I ever return to vendor in my life.

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    God damn thing is the sleekest, most beautiful and lightweight piece of useless garbage I have ever seen.

    It's got this awesome facial recognition feature for login that doesnt know who I am after a month of daily logging in and taking a new snapshot of me for its huge database of one user.

    It's got a nice little input pen for the touchscreen, since a 13 inch touchscreen in 1080p is too fine for anyone's finger unless they are a newborn baby. So it comes with a nice little stylus that you have to keep track of like a regular bic pen (cause I never ever lose those... I buy several dozen a year just to hoard them) and there is no where to slide it into on the body of the PC for safekeeping.

    The half size keyboard is exactly half as useful as a real keyboard. The tiny trackpad is just useless enough to make you glad you kept track of the stylus.

    The screen has exactly one angle when the damn thing isn't in tablet mode. I don't know what that angle is optimal for but so far I haven't found a comfortable sitting position I can view the screen from.

    So far this thing is next to useless for:

    Masturbating
    Emailing
    Skyping
    Accounting
    Spreadsheets

    Even casual web browsing is a pain in the ass since tiny links are near impossible to click.

    The rear camera is decent though so if you want to take shitty pictures with the world's most awkward camera then I guess it's a good buy.

    Oh, and the battery life is decent so it will last for all the extra time you spend on simple tasks that would be much faster on a real piece of hardware.

    If the screen angle was adjustable at all I would dock it to a regular mouse and keyboard but as it is it's just 100% useless for me, props to Amazon for a good return policy, and congrats to Sony for putting a huge amount of effort into a product that misses the mark in almost every meaningful way, creating a high performance machine that is nearly impossible to interact with.
    Last edited by iSpyCams; 01-08-2014, 06:29 AM.
    - As soon as I think up a good sig it's going here.
  • signupdamnit
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2007
    • 6697

    #2
    I never buy something like that without reading a lot of reviews first. Amazon is great for that. I bet it's something with lighting differences causing issues for the facial recognition?

    You don't like my posts? Put me on ignore or fuck right off. I'll say what I want.

    Comment

    • Bryce_FFN
      Registered User
      • May 2011
      • 42

      #3
      Great review!

      Comment

      • Mickey_
        • Nov 2005
        • 4238

        #4
        Pretty funny review, post it on Amazon.


        LifeSelector Affiliates - Make money today promoting the online porn of tomorrow.

        mb [at] lifeselector.com

        Comment

        • iSpyCams
          Amateur Gynecologist
          • May 2009
          • 4436

          #5
          Originally posted by signupdamnit
          I never buy something like that without reading a lot of reviews first. Amazon is great for that. I bet it's something with lighting differences causing issues for the facial recognition?
          Yes could be that I also think my unruly facial hair doesn't help, when my beard has bed-head it kind of changes the shape of my face.
          - As soon as I think up a good sig it's going here.

          Comment

          • L-Pink
            working on my tan
            • Mar 2005
            • 39151

            #6
            Originally posted by Mickey_
            Pretty funny review, post it on Amazon.
            What I was thinking.

            Comment

            • iSpyCams
              Amateur Gynecologist
              • May 2009
              • 4436

              #7
              Originally posted by Mickey_
              Pretty funny review, post it on Amazon.
              Posted a slightly censored version there. It's in the approval process.
              - As soon as I think up a good sig it's going here.

              Comment

              • Rochard
                Jägermeister Test Pilot
                • Dec 2001
                • 75733

                #8
                It's not really meant to be a real computer. It's more like something you would use to travel, more than a tablet but less than laptop. I know it's being sold as a laptop and it's big - 13 inch screen - but it looks more like a tablet to me.

                I have a netbook and made the mistake of of taking it on vacation, thinking I could use it as a laptop. I managed, but never again. (However, I do carry the netbook to shows with me as a "backup" - you know - "just in case".)
                Herschel Savage
                Brooklyn, NY

                Comment

                • klinton
                  So Fucking Banned
                  • Apr 2003
                  • 8766

                  #9
                  i use ultrabook (netbook), 12,5 screen, i5, weight around 1,3 kg, normal keyboard...and i love it...fits in every backpack , ideal for travelling...

                  cost=700 usd

                  Comment

                  • freecartoonporn
                    Confirmed User
                    • Jan 2012
                    • 7683

                    #10
                    gee for that price, i would have bought real laptop.
                    SSD Cloud Server, VPS Server, Simple Cloud Hosting | DigitalOcean

                    Comment

                    • fitzmulti
                      I Like Depth Of Field!
                      • Jan 2003
                      • 14861

                      #11
                      Originally posted by pompousjohn
                      Posted a slightly censored version there. It's in the approval process.
                      It was approved.
                      I just checked "YES", I found the review useful. ;-)


                      www.SexyGirlsCash.com


                      CONTACT // FITZMULTI AT GMAIL.COM //
                      {Please include a message so I know you are from GFY! I get too many spam "add requests"!}

                      Comment

                      • Mickey_
                        • Nov 2005
                        • 4238

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Rochard
                        it's big - 13 inches I made the mistake of of taking it on vacation, thinking I could use it, but never again. (However, I do carry it with me - you know - "just in case".)
                        That's what she said.


                        LifeSelector Affiliates - Make money today promoting the online porn of tomorrow.

                        mb [at] lifeselector.com

                        Comment

                        • Mr. Bc Rich
                          Registered User
                          • Nov 2013
                          • 54

                          #13
                          Really nice review it's represent the whole f***ing Sony

                          I would never buy any Sony product you could find that quality for lower price or for that money real high-end products

                          Comment

                          • SuzzyQ
                            Confirmed User
                            • Dec 2006
                            • 1557

                            #14
                            It got a wonderful review.
                            http://www.amazon.com/Sony-SVD1322DC...owViewpoints=1

                            Comment

                            • CurrentlySober
                              Too lazy to wipe my ass
                              • Aug 2002
                              • 38948

                              #15
                              i get aroused by using shit....


                              👁️ 👍️ 💩

                              Comment

                              • Editing.xxx
                                Confirmed User
                                • Dec 2013
                                • 177

                                #16
                                haha great review, laughed my ass off !
                                Video Editing, Trailers, Intros, Pre-rolls, Custom Animations ...
                                skype: editing.xxx | email: ivan.editing at gmail.com

                                Comment

                                • 2MuchMark
                                  Mark of 2Much.net
                                  • Aug 2004
                                  • 50921

                                  #17

                                  Comment

                                  • seeandsee
                                    Check SIG!
                                    • Mar 2006
                                    • 50945

                                    #18
                                    get some i7 shit for that money
                                    BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year

                                    Contact here

                                    Comment

                                    • blackmonsters
                                      Making PHP work
                                      • Nov 2002
                                      • 21000

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by SuzzyQ
                                      Your neighbor will murder you with frogs
                                      Click here

                                      Comment

                                      • srockhard
                                        Retired
                                        • Jul 2011
                                        • 1978

                                        #20
                                        I just got Lenovo Yoga 2 Pro i7 13.3" 3200x1800 display...also facial recognition logins but that is just gimick man who the fuck cares if you can log in with your face?

                                        Comment

                                        • John-ACWM
                                          Work Work Work
                                          • Nov 2008
                                          • 20060

                                          #21
                                          funny review

                                          Comment

                                          • iSpyCams
                                            Amateur Gynecologist
                                            • May 2009
                                            • 4436

                                            #22
                                            Went to the apple store for a Macbook Air, walked out with a 15" pro. LOVING IT.
                                            - As soon as I think up a good sig it's going here.

                                            Comment

                                            • SplatterMaster
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jan 2012
                                              • 790

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by Rochard
                                              It's not really meant to be a real computer.
                                              They sure put a real computer price on it

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