some of the funniest reviews of a product.... EVER!! (This is a good way to end the week) - GoFuckYourself.com

sperbonzo · 11-01-2013, 08:17 AM

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http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&s ortBy=byRankDescending&tag=vglnk-c588-20

There are so many great ones..... here is but one example...

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" 1.0 out of 5 stars Rapture me, please lord., October 5, 2013
By
Craig L - See all my reviews
This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery)
As I type this review, I'm on the toilet, surrounded by my dearest family and friends and a priest. I'm not exactly sure whether this is an exorcism or if I'm getting my last rites read to me. This very well could be my final crowning moment. I may never make it back to my feet. What a way to go. Will I go out by suffocating in a toxic byproduct stench? Will I croak from my body expelling all essential nutrients for life? Is this the apacolypse?
What is occurring in my body right now may only be explained with the final 20 minutes of the movie Independence Day. The sweet gummy bears that I thought I had chewed and swallowed have now resurrected inside my bowels with a vengeance. The only thing that I can imagine they are doing is s***ting inside my digestive tract. Decomposed zombie gummy bear s***. This can't be all my s***. There's no way. That's not my s***. That's s*** from a supernatural entity living inside me. Literally nothing I've eaten in a dozen years could possibly turn my ass into a to-scale model of Mt. St. Helens, violently spewing what smells like a public bus filled with homeless people with fresh perms, in Mexico City at such a cyclic rate, that I'm worried the war veteran below me thinks he's storming Normandy again.
Shame on everyone who handled these bears before they made it to me. Shame on Amazon for making theses available for purchase. Shame on the guy in the warehouse who packaged this for shipment. Shame on the UPS guy for bringing this to my door. You all knew. I know you knew, and you knew I'd know. And you still let me do this to myself. Shame on you!
My last hope now is that the force of gas propelling from my anus may be strong enough to disturb Satan himself in hell. And that he is so angered by this that he sends an entire fleet of brave minions to come up through the toilet and put me out of my misery. "

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Click, read and enjoy! LOL

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bronco67 · 11-01-2013, 08:22 AM

haha, love those budding comedy writers on Amazon.

Check this one out.
http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-M...DateDescending

DamianJ · 11-01-2013, 08:32 AM

If you like that, then try some British snark:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-revi...owViewpoints=1

11-01-2013, 08:17 AM	#1
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,748	some of the funniest reviews of a product.... EVER!! (This is a good way to end the week) . http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&s ortBy=byRankDescending&tag=vglnk-c588-20 There are so many great ones..... here is but one example... _________ " 1.0 out of 5 stars Rapture me, please lord., October 5, 2013 By Craig L - See all my reviews This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) As I type this review, I'm on the toilet, surrounded by my dearest family and friends and a priest. I'm not exactly sure whether this is an exorcism or if I'm getting my last rites read to me. This very well could be my final crowning moment. I may never make it back to my feet. What a way to go. Will I go out by suffocating in a toxic byproduct stench? Will I croak from my body expelling all essential nutrients for life? Is this the apacolypse? What is occurring in my body right now may only be explained with the final 20 minutes of the movie Independence Day. The sweet gummy bears that I thought I had chewed and swallowed have now resurrected inside my bowels with a vengeance. The only thing that I can imagine they are doing is s*ting inside my digestive tract. Decomposed zombie gummy bear s. This can't be all my s. There's no way. That's not my s. That's s** from a supernatural entity living inside me. Literally nothing I've eaten in a dozen years could possibly turn my ass into a to-scale model of Mt. St. Helens, violently spewing what smells like a public bus filled with homeless people with fresh perms, in Mexico City at such a cyclic rate, that I'm worried the war veteran below me thinks he's storming Normandy again. Shame on everyone who handled these bears before they made it to me. Shame on Amazon for making theses available for purchase. Shame on the guy in the warehouse who packaged this for shipment. Shame on the UPS guy for bringing this to my door. You all knew. I know you knew, and you knew I'd know. And you still let me do this to myself. Shame on you! My last hope now is that the force of gas propelling from my anus may be strong enough to disturb Satan himself in hell. And that he is so angered by this that he sends an entire fleet of brave minions to come up through the toilet and put me out of my misery. " _________ Click, read and enjoy! LOL . __________________ Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber

11-01-2013, 08:22 AM	#2
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	haha, love those budding comedy writers on Amazon. Check this one out. http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-M...DateDescending __________________

11-01-2013, 08:32 AM	#3
DamianJ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A magical land Posts: 15,808	If you like that, then try some British snark: http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-revi...owViewpoints=1