Official Dirty/Racist Joke Thread - GoFuckYourself.com

Zoe_Zoebaboe · 02-26-2003, 05:24 PM

Ok, I know you guys know 'em...

How do you kill 1000 flies at once?

Hit an Ethopian in the face with a frying pan.

pr0 · 02-26-2003, 05:25 PM

oh sweet jesus

lagwagon · 02-26-2003, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pr0
oh sweet jesus

someone say jeebus?

Zoe_Zoebaboe · 02-26-2003, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pr0
oh sweet jesus

hehe

J B · 02-26-2003, 05:46 PM

It's quite old and not really racist or dirty but I think it fits here anyway

On a sunny deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following folks were to be found:-

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

2 French men and 1 French woman

2 German men and 1 German woman

2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

2 English men and 1 English woman

2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman

2 American men and 1 American woman

2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman

2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
=============================================
One month later, the following things had occurred:
=============================================

-One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

-The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in
a menage-a-trois.

-The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits
with the German woman.

-The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.

-The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
English woman.

-The 2 Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one
look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

-The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the
American woman keeps on bitching about her body, the true nature of
feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, the necessity of
fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees
make her look fat, how her LAST boyfriend respected her opinion and treated
her much nicer than THEY do, and how her relationship with her mother is
improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.

-The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

-The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting
up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it
gets sort of foggy after the first few litters of coconut whiskey,but they
are satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid.

Zoe_Zoebaboe · 02-26-2003, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by J B
It's quite old and not really racist or dirty but I think it fits here anyway

On a sunny deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following folks were to be found:-

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

2 French men and 1 French woman

2 German men and 1 German woman

2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

2 English men and 1 English woman

2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman

2 American men and 1 American woman

2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman

2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
=============================================
One month later, the following things had occurred:
=============================================

-One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

-The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in
a menage-a-trois.

-The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits
with the German woman.

-The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.

-The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
English woman.

-The 2 Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one
look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

-The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the
American woman keeps on bitching about her body, the true nature of
feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, the necessity of
fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees
make her look fat, how her LAST boyfriend respected her opinion and treated
her much nicer than THEY do, and how her relationship with her mother is
improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.

-The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

-The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting
up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it
gets sort of foggy after the first few litters of coconut whiskey,but they
are satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid.

Haha! Thats cute!

JeremySF · 02-26-2003, 05:57 PM

An Old Jew Reading Farrakhan's Newspaper

An old Jew is sitting on a park bench reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His friend Harry walks by, stops, and says, "Irv, what are you doing reading that paper? You should be reading The Jewish Journal.'"

Irv says, "'The Jewish Journal' has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel...all kinds trouble for Jewish people. I like to read good news."

Harry says, "What good news could possibly be in that paper?"

Irv says, "Well, Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the press, the Jews control Hollywood. See? It's all good news."

KingK7 · 02-26-2003, 06:14 PM

Q: What is Helen Keller's dog called?
A: "Hmgrfhhhhh..."

Q: What is the name of the latest Superman movie?
A: "Superman gets a really good parking space."

Q: What is Superman eating these days?
A: Kryptonite, by the looks of him.

Osama Bin Laden arrives at the pearly gates, St. Peter looks at him a bit strange, and says:
- "You REALLY think we are going to let YOU in here?"

"Let me in?" Osama replies... "I just came by to tell you that you all have 5 minutes to get the fuck out."

KingK7 · 02-26-2003, 06:16 PM

Q: What do you tell your wife when she comes to you with 2 black eyes?
A: Nuttin, you already told that whore twice.

Q: What is the first thing a woman does when she comes home from the battered-wives shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows whats good for her...

Damian_Maxcash · 02-26-2003, 06:19 PM

Disclaimer - I am normally very PC - How could I not be? I am an overwieght, Jewish faggot!!

Anyway -

Why did god give blacks rhythm?

Because he fucked up thier hair.

-------

What do French women and ice hockey players have in common?

Both change pads after 3 periods.

-------

Heard about the new German microwave?

It seats six

-------

How do you stop a black/jewish/white/latino/arab/any guy from drowning?

Take your foot of his head

KingK7 · 02-26-2003, 06:25 PM

Ok, a guy goes to a golf course and approaches the caddy-master:
GOLFER: Caddymaster, get me a caddy ready, I've been itchin to hit the links all day.

CADDYMASTER: Well, sir, we don't have regular caddies anymore.

G: What? No caddies? What the hell are you talking about?

CM: Well, sir, we changed over to these new 'automatic caddies.' They're like little R2D2s: they carry your clubs, give you all the stats on the holes, recommend shots, even give you wind speeds and great statistics like that!

G: Well alright, I guess I'll give one of your automatic caddies a shot. Bring it out.

So the guy goes out with his automatic caddy and golfs the best game of his life. The caddy tells him everything he needs to know and he tears the course apart. The next day the golfer returns and again approaches the caddy master.

G: Wow, caddy master, I played the best game of my life yesterday! Those caddies are a godsend, let me have another one.

CM: Alright, sir, I can get one for ya right away, but we had to change em a bit.

G: Change em? What the hell for? They were perfect the way they were!

CM: Well, sir, a couple of golfers complained that the sun glared off of the caddies and messed up their shots, so we had to paint all of the caddies black.

G: Alright, whatever, I don't care what color it is as long as it performs like yesterday.

So the golfer goes out with his black automatic caddy and golfs an even better game than the day before. He's truly amazed at how much the caddy helps him. The next day the golfer returns and approaches the caddy master one more time.

G: Caddy master, I need another automatic caddy. Those things are AMAZING!

CM: Oh, well I'm sorry sir, but we had to get rid of all the automatic caddies.

G: WHAT?! Get rid of em?! Now why the hell would you do that? They were a golfer's dream come true!

CM: Well I know, sir, but ever since we painted them black most of em haven't been showing up for work and we caught two stealing shit from the pro shop.

02-26-2003, 05:24 PM	#1
Zoe_Zoebaboe Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sin City Posts: 4,463	Official Dirty/Racist Joke Thread Ok, I know you guys know 'em... How do you kill 1000 flies at once? Hit an Ethopian in the face with a frying pan. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/jennabea ICQ: 166862923 Email: [email protected]

02-26-2003, 05:25 PM	#2
pr0 rockin tha trailerpark Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: ~Coastal~ Posts: 23,088	oh sweet jesus __________________ __________ Loadedca$h - get sum! - Revengebucks - mmm rebills! - webair (gotz sErVrz)

02-26-2003, 05:46 PM	#5
J B Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: StatsRemote.com Posts: 1,804	It's quite old and not really racist or dirty but I think it fits here anyway On a sunny deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following folks were to be found:- 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman ============================================= One month later, the following things had occurred: ============================================= -One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. -The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois. -The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman. -The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. -The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. -The 2 Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming. -The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on bitching about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her LAST boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer than THEY do, and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining. -The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions. -The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litters of coconut whiskey,but they are satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid. __________________ A HUGE TIME SAVER FOR LESS THAN $1 PER DAY! Contact: support A\|T statsremote D\|O\|T com

02-26-2003, 05:57 PM	#7
JeremySF Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,236	An Old Jew Reading Farrakhan's Newspaper An old Jew is sitting on a park bench reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His friend Harry walks by, stops, and says, "Irv, what are you doing reading that paper? You should be reading The Jewish Journal.'" Irv says, "'The Jewish Journal' has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel...all kinds trouble for Jewish people. I like to read good news." Harry says, "What good news could possibly be in that paper?" Irv says, "Well, Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the press, the Jews control Hollywood. See? It's all good news." __________________ ICQ: 176050593 / AIM: JerSF2000 "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." ---------------------------------------------

02-26-2003, 06:14 PM	#8
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	Q: What is Helen Keller's dog called? A: "Hmgrfhhhhh..." Q: What is the name of the latest Superman movie? A: "Superman gets a really good parking space." Q: What is Superman eating these days? A: Kryptonite, by the looks of him. Osama Bin Laden arrives at the pearly gates, St. Peter looks at him a bit strange, and says: - "You REALLY think we are going to let YOU in here?" "Let me in?" Osama replies... "I just came by to tell you that you all have 5 minutes to get the fuck out."

02-26-2003, 06:16 PM	#9
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	Q: What do you tell your wife when she comes to you with 2 black eyes? A: Nuttin, you already told that whore twice. Q: What is the first thing a woman does when she comes home from the battered-wives shelter? A: The dishes, if she knows whats good for her...

02-26-2003, 06:19 PM	#10
Damian_Maxcash So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: MaxCash.com Posts: 12,745	Disclaimer - I am normally very PC - How could I not be? I am an overwieght, Jewish faggot!! Anyway - Why did god give blacks rhythm? Because he fucked up thier hair. ------- What do French women and ice hockey players have in common? Both change pads after 3 periods. ------- Heard about the new German microwave? It seats six ------- How do you stop a black/jewish/white/latino/arab/any guy from drowning? Take your foot of his head

02-26-2003, 06:25 PM	#11
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	Ok, a guy goes to a golf course and approaches the caddy-master: GOLFER: Caddymaster, get me a caddy ready, I've been itchin to hit the links all day. CADDYMASTER: Well, sir, we don't have regular caddies anymore. G: What? No caddies? What the hell are you talking about? CM: Well, sir, we changed over to these new 'automatic caddies.' They're like little R2D2s: they carry your clubs, give you all the stats on the holes, recommend shots, even give you wind speeds and great statistics like that! G: Well alright, I guess I'll give one of your automatic caddies a shot. Bring it out. So the guy goes out with his automatic caddy and golfs the best game of his life. The caddy tells him everything he needs to know and he tears the course apart. The next day the golfer returns and again approaches the caddy master. G: Wow, caddy master, I played the best game of my life yesterday! Those caddies are a godsend, let me have another one. CM: Alright, sir, I can get one for ya right away, but we had to change em a bit. G: Change em? What the hell for? They were perfect the way they were! CM: Well, sir, a couple of golfers complained that the sun glared off of the caddies and messed up their shots, so we had to paint all of the caddies black. G: Alright, whatever, I don't care what color it is as long as it performs like yesterday. So the golfer goes out with his black automatic caddy and golfs an even better game than the day before. He's truly amazed at how much the caddy helps him. The next day the golfer returns and approaches the caddy master one more time. G: Caddy master, I need another automatic caddy. Those things are AMAZING! CM: Oh, well I'm sorry sir, but we had to get rid of all the automatic caddies. G: WHAT?! Get rid of em?! Now why the hell would you do that? They were a golfer's dream come true! CM: Well I know, sir, but ever since we painted them black most of em haven't been showing up for work and we caught two stealing shit from the pro shop.