Sorority Pres rips girls a new asshole...fucking hilarious (sorry if already posted) - GoFuckYourself.com

NaughtyVisions · 04-25-2013, 02:02 PM

I noticed this in the news the other day, but never bothered to read about it until I saw that the writer resigned from her sorority.

(Sorry if this was already posted, I searched "sorority" and found nothing.)

I don't really agree with the outcome of this. Everyone's bitching that this girl is a bully, and blah blah, but in essence, she has a job to do, everyone in the sorority is supposed to live up to certain expectations. They weren't holding their end of the deal, so she had to lay into them. It may be a bit harsh (and funny), but I don't see what was so horrible about the email she sent out to her sorority. Maybe I'm just old school and can't get used to this "politically-correct-can't-offend-anyone-even-though-everything-is-offensive-to-somebody" world we live in.

Here's the letter in its entirety:

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Rebecca, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

"But Rebecca!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh Rebecca, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.

I'm not fucking kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.

Sources: http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-livin...172810311.html
http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-d...will-ever-read

Personally, I think it's about time somebody takes a stand and isn't afraid to tell others how it is. Enough pussy footing around and sensitive bullshit.

Thoughts?

fitzmulti · 04-25-2013, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NaughtyVisions

Thoughts?

Reads like the beginning of an episode of
Law & Order SVU that was on last night...LOL!

beerptrol · 04-25-2013, 02:11 PM

Michael Shannon's reading of it was funny

dyna mo · 04-25-2013, 02:17 PM

sounds serious.

kane · 04-25-2013, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beerptrol

Michael Shannon's reading of it was funny

I saw that the other day and laughed my ass off.

xNetworx · 04-25-2013, 03:55 PM

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad...ter?rel=player

Mike Honcho · 04-25-2013, 06:37 PM

TL;DR?

bronco67 · 04-25-2013, 06:41 PM

What's the internet statute of limitation for saying something is old? Three days? Just wondering before making a comment.

Fetish Gimp · 04-25-2013, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67

What's the internet statute of limitation for saying something is old? Three days? Just wondering before making a comment.

It will be new to somebody.

And I would love to hear Rebecca's dirty talk.

"COME ON YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCK ME HARD IS THAT ALL YOU GOT YOU RETARDED SHITSTAIN? FUCK ME LIKE YOU FUCK YOUR BOYFRIENDS BEHIND THE KFC DUMPSTER YOU FUCKTWIT OR CAN'T YOU DO IT WITHOUT FLAPPING YOUR WRIST AROUND LIKE THE FLAMING ASS PIRATE YOU ARARRGGGHHHGLBLBLBBHHGGGHHHH-nnmmmhhh...

okay, go get me a towel. And get out."

NaughtyVisions · 04-26-2013, 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fetish Gimp

It will be new to somebody.

And I would love to hear Rebecca's dirty talk.

"COME ON YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCK ME HARD IS THAT ALL YOU GOT YOU RETARDED SHITSTAIN? FUCK ME LIKE YOU FUCK YOUR BOYFRIENDS BEHIND THE KFC DUMPSTER YOU FUCKTWIT OR CAN'T YOU DO IT WITHOUT FLAPPING YOUR WRIST AROUND LIKE THE FLAMING ASS PIRATE YOU ARARRGGGHHHGLBLBLBBHHGGGHHHH-nnmmmhhh...

okay, go get me a towel. And get out."

I second that.

bronco67 · 04-26-2013, 06:00 AM

Look her up...she's hot as hell.

atom · 04-26-2013, 07:14 AM

Yes she is!

Jesse1984 · 04-26-2013, 07:25 AM

It made me laugh, cry, and get a boner all at the same time.

BlackCrayon · 04-26-2013, 07:34 AM

oh the drama of things that don't matter one bit in real life.

lezinterracial · 04-26-2013, 07:52 AM

You guys pushing the whole "college sorority haze me" thing really need to figure out how to work the words cunt-punt into your key words.

NaughtyVisions · 04-26-2013, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lezinterracial

You guys pushing the whole "college sorority haze me" thing really need to figure out how to work the words cunt-punt into your key words.

And make a trailer of the sorority pres flipping out on the girls for being to easy on the pledges or something. There were so many gems in the letter, use as many as possible, not just "cunt punt."

DaveMG · 04-26-2013, 11:33 AM

some one needs to give this girl a hug or something

beerptrol · 04-26-2013, 12:10 PM

seoxpertz · 04-26-2013, 12:52 PM

I find her hot! Nice ass

NaughtyVisions · 04-26-2013, 03:17 PM

Where's Hirsch at? He should be offering this girl a porn contract. Have to be b/g though, as I'm sure girls would be afraid of being cunt punted should their skills not be up to par for Miss Rebecca.

Mutt · 04-26-2013, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamBoss

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad...ter?rel=player

omg i'm crying

Mutt · 04-26-2013, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesseFame

It made me laugh, cry, and get a boner all at the same time.

great reading too

04-25-2013, 02:02 PM	#1
NaughtyVisions Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 4,204	Sorority Pres rips girls a new asshole...fucking hilarious (sorry if already posted) I noticed this in the news the other day, but never bothered to read about it until I saw that the writer resigned from her sorority. (Sorry if this was already posted, I searched "sorority" and found nothing.) I don't really agree with the outcome of this. Everyone's bitching that this girl is a bully, and blah blah, but in essence, she has a job to do, everyone in the sorority is supposed to live up to certain expectations. They weren't holding their end of the deal, so she had to lay into them. It may be a bit harsh (and funny), but I don't see what was so horrible about the email she sent out to her sorority. Maybe I'm just old school and can't get used to this "politically-correct-can't-offend-anyone-even-though-everything-is-offensive-to-somebody" world we live in. Here's the letter in its entirety: If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride. For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Rebecca, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself. I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you. "But Rebecca!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU. "Ohhh Rebecca, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you: DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT. I'm not fucking kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me. And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself. Sources: http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-livin...172810311.html http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-d...will-ever-read Personally, I think it's about time somebody takes a stand and isn't afraid to tell others how it is. Enough pussy footing around and sensitive bullshit. Thoughts?

04-25-2013, 02:11 PM	#3
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	Michael Shannon's reading of it was funny __________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant

04-25-2013, 06:37 PM	#7
Mike Honcho Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: FL Posts: 1,608	TL;DR? __________________

04-25-2013, 06:41 PM	#8
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	What's the internet statute of limitation for saying something is old? Three days? Just wondering before making a comment. __________________

04-26-2013, 06:00 AM	#11
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	Look her up...she's hot as hell. __________________

04-25-2013, 02:17 PM	#4
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 64,446	sounds serious.

04-25-2013, 03:55 PM	#6
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445	http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad...ter?rel=player

04-26-2013, 07:14 AM	#12
atom Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 2,739	Yes she is! __________________ Adult is dead.... Want to push a mainstream product that works? Hit me up at adam @ Natures86 dot com

04-26-2013, 07:25 AM	#13
Jesse1984 Web Viking Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: San Francisco Posts: 562	It made me laugh, cry, and get a boner all at the same time.

04-26-2013, 07:34 AM	#14
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,631	oh the drama of things that don't matter one bit in real life. __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

04-26-2013, 07:52 AM	#15
lezinterracial Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 3,068	You guys pushing the whole "college sorority haze me" thing really need to figure out how to work the words cunt-punt into your key words. __________________ Live Sex Shows

04-26-2013, 11:33 AM	#17
DaveMG Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 118	some one needs to give this girl a hug or something

04-26-2013, 12:10 PM	#18
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	__________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant

04-26-2013, 12:52 PM	#19
seoxpertz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 144	I find her hot! Nice ass __________________ Ultimate Adult SEO Package- $75 Email: [email protected] \| Skype: adultseogeeks \| Gtalk: adultseogeeks

04-26-2013, 03:17 PM	#20
NaughtyVisions Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 4,204	Where's Hirsch at? He should be offering this girl a porn contract. Have to be b/g though, as I'm sure girls would be afraid of being cunt punted should their skills not be up to par for Miss Rebecca.