Anyone gone back to corporate world? How did you write up your resume from years in Porn? - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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clickhappy

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Anyone gone back to corporate world? How did you write up your resume from years in Porn?

02-24-2013, 09:51 AM

If you went back to work and needed a resume, how did you do it? Did you lie and make up a company and say you worked there, but it went out of business?
Did you say you were self employed but didn't get specific to what you were selling?

I still make money in porn but I want to go back to corporate world, and use the money I make in porn as a second income. Have any of you done this and how did you write up your resume?
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ottopottomouse

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#2

02-24-2013, 10:21 AM

Just say you've been in prison for ten years for murdering the last person who turned you down for a job.

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Joshua G

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#3

02-24-2013, 10:40 AM

Buy some URLs that were registered a while ago from a broker. set up some bullshit blogs. things in your interest group, like finance/trading, or coin collecting, or fitness. backdate all the posts. say you were an affiliate marketer but you would like to return to corporate for more stability because you just got married & the affiliate checks dont meet your needs now.
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#4

02-24-2013, 10:41 AM

Always have mainstream sites going...have since day one...

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#5

02-24-2013, 10:42 AM

Originally posted by JoshGirls Josh

Buy some URLs that were registered a while ago from a broker. set up some bullshit blogs. things in your interest group, like finance/trading, or coin collecting, or fitness. backdate all the posts. say you were an affiliate marketer but you would like to return to corporate for more stability because you just got married & the affiliate checks dont meet your needs now.

...you mean lie.

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#6

02-24-2013, 11:06 AM

Just tell them you ran blogs or did affiliate marketing. Tell a white lie if you need to.

No need to set up fake ones just say you had to shut he sites down, because it wasn't for you and are now looking for work. Not like most of corporate world isn't already full of BS.

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#7

02-24-2013, 11:10 AM

Originally posted by JoshGirls Josh

Buy some URLs that were registered a while ago from a broker. set up some bullshit blogs. things in your interest group, like finance/trading, or coin collecting, or fitness. backdate all the posts. say you were an affiliate marketer but you would like to return to corporate for more stability because you just got married & the affiliate checks dont meet your needs now.

Alexa "way back machine" and domaintools "Whois History" might be a problem in
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#8

02-24-2013, 11:13 AM

Originally posted by suesheboy

...you mean lie.

everyone lies on their resume. if you tell the truth you won't get the job. you have to compete with the other 9000 liars applying for the position

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#9

02-24-2013, 11:18 AM

most legit adult companies have mainstream corporate names that appear on the checks you receive from them. And most would be nice enough to play ball and give a reference by phone as well. Most also have some sort of mainstream sidestream for such purposes, as they ahve to deal with adult industry prejudice from banks, landloards, etc as well. Few employers you'd apply to will dig into the total details of everything a company does, even if they phone and ask for a reference.

so be honest, just don't say adult. Online marketing, promoting dating sites, search engine optimization, cpm annalist, webmaster for high traffic websites, web designer, ad manager, etc are all ways to describe your adult career.

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#10

02-24-2013, 11:20 AM

You did affiliate marketing for companies like Netflix and Google.
You are very good at SEO, social media, and can help make for sales for their company. ect..

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#11

02-24-2013, 11:30 AM

I have always had mainstream projects going as it's easy to get approved for things when using my established mainstream sites. All my mainstream projects fall under one brand and all the adult projects fall under the other so easy for me to show the mainstream side without the adult side popping up if harmful to the relationship.

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#12

02-24-2013, 11:31 AM

Originally posted by SleazyDream

most legit adult companies have mainstream corporate names that appear on the checks you receive from them. And most would be nice enough to play ball and give a reference by phone as well. Most also have some sort of mainstream sidestream for such purposes, as they ahve to deal with adult industry prejudice from banks, landloards, etc as well. Few employers you'd apply to will dig into the total details of everything a company does, even if they phone and ask for a reference.

so be honest, just don't say adult. Online marketing, promoting dating sites, search engine optimization, cpm annalist, webmaster for high traffic websites, web designer, ad manager, etc are all ways to describe your adult career.
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#13

02-24-2013, 11:47 AM

Originally posted by ErectMedia

I have always had mainstream projects going as it's easy to get approved for things when using my established mainstream sites. All my mainstream projects fall under one brand and all the adult projects fall under the other so easy for me to show the mainstream side without the adult side popping up if harmful to the relationship.

...I even have separate hosting accounts and domain name accounts.

One never knows what the future holds and would be a fool not to do this.

Last edited by suesheboy; 02-24-2013, 11:49 AM.

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#14

02-24-2013, 12:09 PM

never will go back. get a franchise not saying what kind tho

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#15

02-24-2013, 01:57 PM

Originally posted by ottopottomouse

Just say you've been in prison for ten years for murdering the last person who turned you down for a job.

When I was at Playboy during a job interview I asked him why there was a three year gap in his employment history. He said "Oh, I was in prison for attempted manslaughter". Turns out he beat his girlfriend and then pushed her out of a moving car.

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Joshua G

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#16

02-24-2013, 02:01 PM

Originally posted by suesheboy

...you mean lie.

yes. a legal obsessed politically correct corporation is not rolling the dice on a porn seller.
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#17

02-24-2013, 02:04 PM

Originally posted by blackmonsters

Alexa "way back machine" and domaintools "Whois History" might be a problem in
that solution.

true. its not a perfect solution. some will check, some won't. worst case is they dont call back.
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#18

02-24-2013, 02:08 PM

I would wonder more if it was worth living in fear of someone at your office finding out and it getting around and you losing your job over it later.

I think I'd just be straight up and tell them I ran a successful marketing company that catered to mature audiences.

You don't need to go into too much detail, but at least you're not outright lying and wondering if someone will ever put two and together at some point.

I personally can't imagine having to be dishonest and worrying whether or not I could fired at some point because I lied and got caught.

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#19

02-24-2013, 02:09 PM

Originally posted by JoshGirls Josh

Buy some URLs that were registered a while ago from a broker. set up some bullshit blogs. things in your interest group, like finance/trading, or coin collecting, or fitness. backdate all the posts. say you were an affiliate marketer but you would like to return to corporate for more stability because you just got married & the affiliate checks dont meet your needs now.

I agree with with the above 100%. But I also run a few mainstram sites.

I dabble in this and a little in that.
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#20

02-24-2013, 02:10 PM

Basically you need to lie BIG time.
Seems you are trying to tell them that even working in the PORN industry you were not good enough to sell that. Now you want to work for them instead and not make money for them either on a more difficult product to sell ;)

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#21

02-24-2013, 02:14 PM

You ran a consulting company for the past 10 years, you did seo, marketing, managed hosting, blogged, etc... tell them exactly what you did, but instead of mentioning porn, make up some mainstream clients...

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#22

02-24-2013, 02:26 PM

When I see post like that it make me glad to live in a modern city like Montreal where all my friend, my coworker at my daily job, my boss and the girl I meet know what I'm doing. They all think it fun, interesting but no one judge me on that and I dont gonna have to hide it ever. You should move to a more adult friendly place

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#23

02-24-2013, 02:32 PM

Originally posted by robwod

I would wonder more if it was worth living in fear of someone at your office finding out and it getting around and you losing your job over it later.

I think I'd just be straight up and tell them I ran a successful marketing company that catered to mature audiences.

You don't need to go into too much detail, but at least you're not outright lying and wondering if someone will ever put two and together at some point.

I personally can't imagine having to be dishonest and worrying whether or not I could fired at some point because I lied and got caught.

no way. i was corporate 13 years in 2 companies. if you even suggest mature audience, forget it. companies get sued so much now, they have no need to even consider a porn seller. just leer at a girl the wrong way & you are sexually harassing them.

I got written up for asking a girl if she "shagged" on her date. the girl didnt report me. some busybody overhearing my conversation did. & HR thought it was serious enough to write me up for sexual harassment. This is 100% true story.

the correct answer is to lie your ass off, never bring up porn, & deny deny deny if they ask.

Last edited by Joshua G; 02-24-2013, 02:34 PM.
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epitome

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#24

02-24-2013, 03:00 PM

Originally posted by JoshGirls Josh

got written up for asking a girl if she "shagged" on her date. the girl didnt report me. some busybody overhearing my conversation did. & HR thought it was serious enough to write me up for sexual harassment. This is 100% true story.

I'm not surprised. There is a time and a place for such conversation and a corporate environment is not it.

There are different types of environments though. I spent a few years in a HVAC/Plumbing subsidiary of a Fortune 500 and I sometimes heard worse there than I do porn. Even the on site HR person that looked about as straight laced as they come had her fun. Everybody knew how to act when corporate was visiting though.
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#25

02-24-2013, 03:05 PM

Funny. I already wouldn't hire you because you can't even figure something so simple out.

If it doesn't immediately occur to you to frame everything as lead generation, online marketing, search marketing, ppc marketing etc., then what value would you have as an employee beyond greeter or security guard?

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#26

02-24-2013, 03:06 PM

I got a job this year at one of the nicest places I could imagine. Amazing office space, I get paid very well and people are throwing work at me now. One of the best decisions I made in a long time. It was hard to admit "defeat". Even though I still do alright at this, it's nothing like it used to be.

How did I get the job? It was available, right place at the right time, and they appreciated my skill set as an entrepreneur. I didn't bring a resume (they said they'd rather not have it on file anyway lol) and I told them exactly what I do. Better they know now than later.

I don't tell everyone there what I do, but it's not a big deal. When I gloss over it, I just say I sold everything there was to sell on the internet. Mortgages, insurance, products, just setup little websites to sell each product. That's boring enough and general that the conversation ends there really, or moves towards how I can help them with their website or whatever.

I think the key is to be confident and act like it's not a big deal. If you think it's a big deal, they will too.

Get out there, find something, and don't just look in the paper. Those jobs aren't for people like us. Just a few months in and one of my clients asked me to run a division of his company that has over 100 employees. Do you think if I was a regular university kid with no business experience they'd be asking that? I dropped out in grade 10.

And good thing they didn't ask for a resume, because I don't have one
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#27

02-24-2013, 03:09 PM

Originally posted by epitome

I'm not surprised. There is a time and a place for such conversation and a corporate environment is not it.

There are different types of environments though. I spent a few years in a HVAC/Plumbing subsidiary of a Fortune 500 and I sometimes heard worse there than I do porn. Even the on site HR person that looked about as straight laced as they come had her fun. Everybody knew how to act when corporate was visiting though.

yeah. in hindsight the writeup looks like a training issue for me, to increase my business maturity

even if a firm looks to be a sausagefest, theres no upside to having porno on the resume unless you are applying to a porn company.

i hope the OP at least takes on the marraige lie. nothing butters up HR like getting married & she's preggo. they know you wont quit your job & they can exploit you to the hilt until your 50 & they "retire" you.

Last edited by Joshua G; 02-24-2013, 03:13 PM.
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#28

02-24-2013, 05:16 PM

Originally posted by JoshGirls Josh

yeah. in hindsight the writeup looks like a training issue for me, to increase my business maturity

even if a firm looks to be a sausagefest, theres no upside to having porno on the resume unless you are applying to a porn company.

i hope the OP at least takes on the marraige lie. nothing butters up HR like getting married & she's preggo. they know you wont quit your job & they can exploit you to the hilt until your 50 & they "retire" you.

If you want to help people you should stop trying to give them advice, because you seriously suck at it.

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#29

02-24-2013, 05:16 PM

Originally posted by JoshGirls Josh

Buy some URLs that were registered a while ago from a broker. set up some bullshit blogs. things in your interest group, like finance/trading, or coin collecting, or fitness. backdate all the posts. say you were an affiliate marketer but you would like to return to corporate for more stability because you just got married & the affiliate checks dont meet your needs now.

fucking awesome advice, thanks!
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#30

02-24-2013, 05:29 PM

thank god i am self employed and dont need to worry about that

but over here most people arent that stuck up about adult anyways

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#31

02-24-2013, 05:32 PM

People buy shit you sell if you sell it well. If I need to put shit about what I did I do this:

XYZ My company name which is legit
- Increased Revenue by $10,000 in Q2 2012
- Managed 10 employees
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