Romney-What Happens If You Wake Up With a Mormon in the White House?

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  • HelmutKohl
    Confirmed User
    • Sep 2012
    • 378
    #1

    Romney-What Happens If You Wake Up With a Mormon in the White House?

    According to a controversial Joseph Smith prophecy, when America degenerates to the point where ?the Constitution hangs by a thread? , a Mormon will be elected President of the United States, triggering a whole series of disaster twists: the end of the world as we know it; the overthrow of ?gentile? rule; and the long-promised Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Only, instead of teleporting Himself somewhere interesting like Jerusalem, say the Mormons, Jesus will stage his comeback in Independence, Missouri.

    Are you ready to vote for all that ? MormonPresident
    Tags: None
    • TampaToker
      Confirmed User
      • May 2006
      • 5828
      #2
      CRAZY MORMON BELIEFS:

      1. Jesus Christ is Satan's brother.
      2. God lives on a planet called "Kolob."
      3. Jesus is married to a goddess wife.
      4. Jesus has children from his wife or wives.
      5. The Garden of Eden was in Missouri.
      6. Blacks could NOT get into Heaven pre- 1978.
      7. Mormons baptize dead people.
      8. Mormons will become gods.
      9. Mormons get their own personal planet after death
      10. Mormons are the real Christians
      11. Mormons wear magic underwear and never take them off unless bathing.
      12. It is a sin to drink caffeine. (Coffee, Coke, Pepsi)
      Icq 247-742-205

        Comment

        • BlackCrayon
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Jun 2003
          • 19634
          #3
          more crazy beliefs..

          mormons believe that god struck cain black for killing his brother
          mormons believe that god struck "native americans" brown for killing another tribe (although they also believe that they were not native americans but instead from Jerusalem.
          you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

            Comment

            • keysync
              Living the Dream
              • Sep 2011
              • 2375
              #4
              Reading this on GFY must make it all true!


                Comment

                • ilnjscb
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 8972
                  #5
                  Originally posted by TampaToker
                  CRAZY MORMON BELIEFS:

                  1. Jesus Christ is Satan's brother.
                  2. God lives on a planet called "Kolob."
                  3. Jesus is married to a goddess wife.
                  4. Jesus has children from his wife or wives.
                  5. The Garden of Eden was in Missouri.
                  6. Blacks could NOT get into Heaven pre- 1978.
                  7. Mormons baptize dead people.
                  8. Mormons will become gods.
                  9. Mormons get their own personal planet after death
                  10. Mormons are the real Christians
                  11. Mormons wear magic underwear and never take them off unless bathing.
                  12. It is a sin to drink caffeine. (Coffee, Coke, Pepsi)
                  I know, right, they take good old common sense stuff like this, slap a label on it, and suddenly they "own" it. Any idiot knows that all the above is absolutely true just from life!

                    Comment

                    • SuckOnThis
                      So Fucking Banned
                      • Oct 2003
                      • 6844
                      #6
                      Screw just having one planet, join my new religion and you'll get your own galaxy!

                        Comment

                        • HelmutKohl
                          Confirmed User
                          • Sep 2012
                          • 378
                          #7
                          Here I come

                            Comment

                            • ThunderBalls
                              So Fucking Banned
                              • Oct 2002
                              • 2926
                              #8
                              Originally posted by keysync
                              Reading this on GFY must make it all true!

                              Witnessing your ignorance definitely makes it true!

                                Comment

                                • Helix
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2002
                                  • 6021
                                  #9
                                  The economy recovers
                                  People have jobs that can pay the bills
                                  Doctors don't close their offices.
                                  The National debt starts to decrease.
                                  We put BFT3K on suicide watch.

                                    Comment

                                    • Supz
                                      Arthur Flegenheimer
                                      • Jul 2006
                                      • 11057
                                      #10
                                      everyone seems to forget he is a Mormon.

                                        Comment

                                        • Relentless
                                          www.EngineFood.com
                                          • Aug 2006
                                          • 5697
                                          #11
                                          And other religious dogma is less silly in the modern age? How exactly?


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                                            Comment

                                            • Sly
                                              Let's do some business!
                                              • Sep 2004
                                              • 31376
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Relentless
                                              And other religious dogma is less silly in the modern age? How exactly?
                                              I keep thinking that same thing.
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                                                • tony286
                                                  lurker
                                                  • Aug 2002
                                                  • 57021
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by Helix
                                                  The economy recovers
                                                  People have jobs that can pay the bills
                                                  Doctors don't close their offices.
                                                  The National debt starts to decrease.
                                                  We put BFT3K on suicide watch.
                                                  If the plan Mitt has described aint going to happen. Bookmark this thread if he wins. They will fuck some programs that help the little people in the name of the budget. Then he will go on a spending spree that would make rush blush but rush wont say a word. Name a gop president since Reagan that cut spending it doesn't exist.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • papill0n
                                                      Unregistered Abuser
                                                      • Oct 2007
                                                      • 15547
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by Relentless
                                                      And other religious dogma is less silly in the modern age? How exactly?
                                                      they arent different at all

                                                      muppets see a catchy word and go with it

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Brujah
                                                          Beer Money Baron
                                                          • Jan 2001
                                                          • 22157
                                                          #15
                                                          Mormons baptized the dead jewish holocaust victims, so that they might eventually be saved.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Robbie
                                                              Leaner, Meaner, Faster
                                                              • Aug 2002
                                                              • 20960
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by tony286
                                                              Name a gop president since Reagan that cut spending it doesn't exist.
                                                              There's only been two. Both named Bush.
                                                              So that's a loaded question.
                                                              -Robbie
                                                              ClaudiaMarie.Com

                                                                Comment

                                                                • [Labret]
                                                                  Registered User
                                                                  • May 2001
                                                                  • 10945
                                                                  #17

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • helterskelter808
                                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                                      • Sep 2010
                                                                      • 3405
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Mormons must be bad if everyone's forgetting about the Muslim.

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • Helix
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                                          • 6021
                                                                          #19
                                                                          and the Lizard overlords..don't forget about them ;)

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • mce
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Jun 2012
                                                                              • 3915
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by keysync
                                                                              Reading this on GFY must make it all true!

                                                                              Pay Virtual Assistants Based on RESULTS instead of TIME
                                                                              STOP getting FUCKED IN THE ASS by your VA

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • mce
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Jun 2012
                                                                                  • 3915
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Originally posted by [Labret]
                                                                                  Got any secret shriners video? Supposedly, lots of faux islamic rituals.

                                                                                  Pay Virtual Assistants Based on RESULTS instead of TIME
                                                                                  STOP getting FUCKED IN THE ASS by your VA

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • ruff
                                                                                      I have a plan B
                                                                                      • Aug 2004
                                                                                      • 5507
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by HelmutKohl
                                                                                      Here I come

                                                                                      You can see by his hand that he has a small dick. I like my president to have a BBC!
                                                                                      CryptoFeeds

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • V_RocKs
                                                                                          Damn Right I Kiss Ass!
                                                                                          • Nov 2003
                                                                                          • 32449
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by [Labret]
                                                                                          Holy shit!

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • CurrentlySober
                                                                                              Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                                                                              • Aug 2002
                                                                                              • 38944
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Originally posted by TampaToker
                                                                                              9. Mormons get their own personal planet after death
                                                                                              Do they see this as good thing?

                                                                                              I wouldn't want that... I think I'd find it rather lonely all by myself....


                                                                                              👁️ 👍️ 💩

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Brujah
                                                                                                  Beer Money Baron
                                                                                                  • Jan 2001
                                                                                                  • 22157
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Originally posted by CurrentlySober
                                                                                                  Do they see this as good thing?

                                                                                                  I wouldn't want that... I think I'd find it rather lonely all by myself....
                                                                                                  It isn't a lonely planet. You and your wife will have infinite spirit children that will populate worlds of your own, much like Earth was populated.

                                                                                                  "As man is, God once was; as God is, man may be."

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • Paul Markham
                                                                                                      Too old to care
                                                                                                      • Jun 2001
                                                                                                      • 52942
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Let's not belittle Mormon's they know how to make money. And they do it by a very simple method. All the people give 10% of their income to the church. Tax or donations cuts.

















                                                                                                      http://www.okland-const.com/projects_category.cfm?cid=7



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                                                                                                        • Brujah
                                                                                                          Beer Money Baron
                                                                                                          • Jan 2001
                                                                                                          • 22157
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          This is funny in an ironic way lol.

                                                                                                          "The church's holdings include:
                                                                                                          AgReserves Inc. - the largest producer of nuts in the United States"

                                                                                                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Financ...ter-day_Saints

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • MovieMaster
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Apr 2003
                                                                                                              • 897
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Yall realize Harry Reid - Senate leader is mormon as well right ?
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                                                                                                                • MovieMaster
                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                  • Apr 2003
                                                                                                                  • 897
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  President and senate leader both lead by mormons, Now thats the story
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                                                                                                                    • Robbie
                                                                                                                      Leaner, Meaner, Faster
                                                                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                                                                      • 20960
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by MovieMaster
                                                                                                                      Yall realize Harry Reid - Senate leader is mormon as well right ?
                                                                                                                      A mormon and a moron.
                                                                                                                      -Robbie
                                                                                                                      ClaudiaMarie.Com

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • RebelR
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Feb 2005
                                                                                                                          • 1998
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Originally posted by Brujah
                                                                                                                          It isn't a lonely planet. You and your wife will have infinite spirit children that will populate worlds of your own, much like Earth was populated.

                                                                                                                          "As man is, God once was; as God is, man may be."
                                                                                                                          Who are you going to populate with? So each Man gets his own planet (since Mormonism is a patriarchal religion) how do you get to meet your wife if you are stuck on a planet by yourself. Is there a planet that's all Mormon women (lets hope so.. hehe) Is there an intergalactic barn dance that you can go to (that doesn't serve alcohol, or maybe there is a universal drink that they can have, but we don't have it here on earth) to meet your future wife? I just don't see the logistics behind this one.
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                                                                                                                            • Brujah
                                                                                                                              Beer Money Baron
                                                                                                                              • Jan 2001
                                                                                                                              • 22157
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Originally posted by RebelR
                                                                                                                              Who are you going to populate with? So each Man gets his own planet (since Mormonism is a patriarchal religion) how do you get to meet your wife if you are stuck on a planet by yourself. Is there a planet that's all Mormon women (lets hope so.. hehe) Is there an intergalactic barn dance that you can go to (that doesn't serve alcohol, or maybe there is a universal drink that they can have, but we don't have it here on earth) to meet your future wife? I just don't see the logistics behind this one.
                                                                                                                              It isn't a planet reward. It's that you become like God, so you have all the same power and use it to create your own worlds, with your own people (your children), etc...

                                                                                                                              If you meet the eligibility criteria, you can be married for eternity to your wife in the temple. She joins you in the afterlife, where you become a god and she is your partner. The two of you, continue to have spiritual children for eternity. This is how it was for all humans in our world, in a pre-existence. After, we are all born in order to gain bodies, and progress to an afterlife.

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • pornguy
                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                  • Mar 2003
                                                                                                                                  • 62912
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by BlackCrayon
                                                                                                                                  more crazy beliefs..

                                                                                                                                  mormons believe that god struck cain black for killing his brother
                                                                                                                                  mormons believe that god struck "native americans" brown for killing another tribe (although they also believe that they were not native americans but instead from Jerusalem.
                                                                                                                                  native Americans are not brown. they are red.
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                                                                                                                                    • joshuawk
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                      • 1092
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      what are you guys talking about?!@? no direction

                                                                                                                                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICckD...=results_video


                                                                                                                                      pathetic ..
                                                                                                                                      i love GW

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • Paul Markham
                                                                                                                                          Too old to care
                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                                          • 52942
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Tony Blair to get elected had to hide his religious beliefs. To stay in office he continually hid or played them down. When asked a direct question of whether he and Bush prayed together, he replied it was a silly question. He knew in an advanced civilised country he would get hung out to dry for saying anything else.

                                                                                                                                          I don't think the French, Germans or any advanced country are different. And that's the way it should be.



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                                                                                                                                            • Michael O
                                                                                                                                              More Cowbell
                                                                                                                                              • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                                              • 10607
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              I had big plans in my 20's but never worked out the plan to do it and my friends were not interested.
                                                                                                                                              I thought the easiest qay to infinite riches were either:
                                                                                                                                              1) Become a dictator
                                                                                                                                              2) Start a religion

                                                                                                                                              Either way if you know when to quick you can retire in 20 years or less.
                                                                                                                                              Truth Teller

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • BlackCrayon
                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                  • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                                  • 19634
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by pornguy
                                                                                                                                                  native Americans are not brown. they are red.
                                                                                                                                                  i can't say i've ever met a red one.
                                                                                                                                                  you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • Brujah
                                                                                                                                                      Beer Money Baron
                                                                                                                                                      • Jan 2001
                                                                                                                                                      • 22157
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Michael O
                                                                                                                                                      I had big plans in my 20's but never worked out the plan to do it and my friends were not interested.
                                                                                                                                                      I thought the easiest way to infinite riches were either:
                                                                                                                                                      1) Become a dictator
                                                                                                                                                      2) Start a religion

                                                                                                                                                      Either way if you know when to quick you can retire in 20 years or less.
                                                                                                                                                      Unfortunately for Joseph Smith he was assassinated by an angry mob before he could really reap the rewards.

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • HelmutKohl
                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                          • Sep 2012
                                                                                                                                                          • 378
                                                                                                                                                          #39

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

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