My girlfriend's friend had an abortion in Holland. The girl is hot, so my initial reaction after my girlfriend told me was to go in the bathroom and jerkoff to the thought of popping off an unprotected nut in her. But after that, I started thinking about socialism.
Because the whole story started out with this horror ? there was some painful complication; she?d had to be hospitalized for weeks after, and it would have been a nightmare for this broke, wayward, twenty-something girl who is about as organized in life as any good looking unemployed barmaid in her twenties ? it would have been a nightmare, except everything was taken care of and free. There was no bill at the end of this abortion and then internal bleeding and weeks of inpatient care and then follow up home visits and friendly helpful people telling her what the next step would be at every part of the process. It was all free, and the people helping her out, who were employed by the government, were actually knowledgeable, caring and nice. And from scraping Johann van der Slooot's baby out of her to her final post-treatment evaluation was all part of one system, so, the nurse who told her there was some kind of ovarian hemorrhaging was able to say ?don?t worry, we?re gonna take you to the state run hospital right next door and check you in and do some tests, and from there after you get released we?ll come to wherever you live and keep checking up on you for free. So I know this sucks,? they would say compassionately, ?but don?t worry, ?cause we?re gonna take care of you.?
In America, it would have been: you looking down between your feet in stirrups and seeing the abortionist cock an eyebrow suspiciously, maybe mutter, but ultimately say nothing. And then afterward a squat, surly nurse in a briefing room would force some forms on you saying you weren?t gonna sue before telling you you had some kind of complication and might want to go have a doctor look at it. Wait, what? What is it? Ma?am. Ma?am? please, calm down ma?am. I?m not allowed to discuss this with you, we recommend that you go to a qualified physician? and if you have insurance, you get home with your insides stinging and bleeding from having the Dutchman's baby scraped out of you and the first thing you?d have to do is call the phone number on the back of your insurance card and ring? ring?
Para Español marque el numero ?dos? ? Welcome to Blue Shield of Pennsylvania. If you are a health care provider, please press ?one? now? (wait)? if you are a member, please say ?I?m a member.? ?I?m a member? I?m sorry, I didn?t hear you. If you are a member, please say?? ?I?M A MMMEMMMBBEERRRR!!!!!? All right. Please say or enter your ten digit policy number... (beep beep boop beep)?
Your policy premium is due on?. July? Fourth? Two Thousand ? Twelve? If you?d like make a payment, press ?one? now. If you?d like to speak to a representative regarding claims or benefits please press? (two, right?) I?m sorry; that is not a valid option. Para Español marque el numero ?dos?? Welcome to Blue Shield of Pennsylvania. If you are a health care provider, please press ?one? now? and you listen to the whole god damn thing again to find out that the number you press to get to a person is actually seven, or whatever number they poured thirty million dollars into researching to find out which button was the least intuitive, the least likely one that people would mash just to get to a god damn human being.
Your estimated wait time is? more than? eight? minutes. (music) For claims, benefits, and payment information, please visit our web site at Blueshield pa.com? this is repeated at least ten times in the hope that you will finally just go give them money on the internet and leave them alone. And: Information given about claims and benefits is NOT a guarantee of payment. Don?t think that whatever our employees tell you, which is deeply constrained by layers of corporate vigilance miles thick and thousands of man hours worth of training ? don?t you dare think that what you hear from this person actually means anything. We are not gonna give you any money, okay? Get it? Hang up now and go put your credit card into our web site.
And when you finally get a person on the phone, who you hope just knows of an in-network doctor who MIGHT treat you without some egregious credit-rating-shattering bill showing up later that you will have to get a god damn Act of Congress for them to pay some small part of, that some collection agency out of Nevada will call your parents? home phone about, demanding to speak to you about ?a private matter;? all you want out of them is ?my pussy is damaged, what doctor should I go to,? because when you sign up for insurance they give you a huge book full of the names of doctors but even though the book was printed last year you have called eight of the doctors? offices and they?ve all been out of business since the Reagan administration?
All you want is to find out a god damn doctor who they might pay for, and they won?t even tell you that. They?re just reading out of the same god damn book with Dr. Nadreep Patel in fucking Kensington whom you?ve just verified with the Tandoori Chicken restaurant that took over his phone number has been dead for fifteen years.
And that?s if you have insurance. If you don?t you gotta go sit in an emergency room next to a guy who took his nuts off with a bandsaw, and the both of you have to watch Telemundo over the screams of hyperactive children for twelve hours before being given a quick stitch up and one fifty dollar over-the-counter Tylenol.
But in Holland, this girl had a complicated abortion and was coddled, taken care of, steered carefully along every step of the way. That?s the biggest part of it here? just not knowing. Not knowing if you are even going to be able to get treatment. The psychological burden on top of being physically fucked up, just drives you insane. There, you know you are taken care of.
And imagine if she had the kid? If she had to take care of it and couldn?t work until it was in school, young Johann van der Sloot Junior ? in Holland, some cheerful freshly scrubbed Dutch handmaiden would have shown up every day for free and wiped his ass and made sure he didn?t grab a pan off the stove and pour hot frying oil all over his face, while you went to work if you had to. And if you didn?t want to, if you actually wanted to be around to experience the precious first few years of life of this handsome Dutchman's nutfruit? well, that?s okay, too. They have a welfare state. Here, you gotta put the kid in a fucking dog cage and stick it under the bed, let the kid swim in his own shit for eight hours a day if you don?t have any money. And here he?s gonna grow up and get gutted in a public school by switchblade-wielding Puerto Ricans whose parents can?t help with their homework because they can?t read English? or Spanish. Over there, quality education is fucking free up to the PhD level.
But ? you say ? what about the taxes? Because the Dutch have to pay about half of what they earn out of the job that the government trained them for and probably provided them with ? they have to pay half of this in taxes. Well guess what? I pay a fucking THIRD of what I earn in taxes of some kind: federal tax, state tax, Social Security, unemployment insurance, city tax, sales tax, fuel tax, cigarette tax, CRV tax on the bottle of booze that I?m drinking to forget about all these god damn taxes, the special tax that Philly hits you with for ?solid resources management,? which is $150/year to put a thousand more cops on the streets, and the thousand more cops on the streets are not out there vigilantly preventing crime; they are writing you motherfucking tickets to make more money for the city ? another tax. And soon enough I'll be paying a tax when I want to eat a twinkie or buy a fucking big gulp at WaWa.
So in our free market capitalist society you pay taxes like a MOTHERFUCKER and you get NOTHING in return. Schools like the fucking Thunderdome that you wouldn?t dream of sending your kids to. A massive military that?s out there making sure people keep hating us. Social Security and Medicare to keep old people alive so they can stagger across the crosswalk on their walker with the fucking tennis balls on it at .02 miles an hour when you?re late for work, and we all KNOW that shit isn?t gonna be there when we get old. Unemployment insurance that either your asshole boss or some twatty state clerk will fight like a cornered raccoon to keep you from getting a penny of when you actually need it.
Everywhere in America you fight everything every step of the way; whole huge layers of manpower exist just to put up roadblocks to ensure that you don?t get the service you pay for. In the socialist world, government gives away your tax money freely and stupidly, and that?s GREAT.
Because in this hybrid system we have now, which has the WORST elements of venal, moneygrubbing capitalism ? insurance companies with 50 billion dollar advertising budgets marketing the shit out of policies that will be policed by people who get fired if the policies are allowed to perform as advertised, hospitals overcharging to make up for the losses they take when bums jump the check ? you are already getting fucked by private industry and paying both obvious and hidden taxes through the fucking nose. So either give me a totally free market where shit is cheap and laws are lax and companies compete unregulated, in which case I won?t need to buy health insurance at all since when I get an ear infection I?ll just buy amoxycillin like every fucking retard knows the doctor will end up telling you to do anyway, OR take all this tax money we?re all getting sucked out of us and actually do something with it that helps us.
Because the whole story started out with this horror ? there was some painful complication; she?d had to be hospitalized for weeks after, and it would have been a nightmare for this broke, wayward, twenty-something girl who is about as organized in life as any good looking unemployed barmaid in her twenties ? it would have been a nightmare, except everything was taken care of and free. There was no bill at the end of this abortion and then internal bleeding and weeks of inpatient care and then follow up home visits and friendly helpful people telling her what the next step would be at every part of the process. It was all free, and the people helping her out, who were employed by the government, were actually knowledgeable, caring and nice. And from scraping Johann van der Slooot's baby out of her to her final post-treatment evaluation was all part of one system, so, the nurse who told her there was some kind of ovarian hemorrhaging was able to say ?don?t worry, we?re gonna take you to the state run hospital right next door and check you in and do some tests, and from there after you get released we?ll come to wherever you live and keep checking up on you for free. So I know this sucks,? they would say compassionately, ?but don?t worry, ?cause we?re gonna take care of you.?
In America, it would have been: you looking down between your feet in stirrups and seeing the abortionist cock an eyebrow suspiciously, maybe mutter, but ultimately say nothing. And then afterward a squat, surly nurse in a briefing room would force some forms on you saying you weren?t gonna sue before telling you you had some kind of complication and might want to go have a doctor look at it. Wait, what? What is it? Ma?am. Ma?am? please, calm down ma?am. I?m not allowed to discuss this with you, we recommend that you go to a qualified physician? and if you have insurance, you get home with your insides stinging and bleeding from having the Dutchman's baby scraped out of you and the first thing you?d have to do is call the phone number on the back of your insurance card and ring? ring?
Para Español marque el numero ?dos? ? Welcome to Blue Shield of Pennsylvania. If you are a health care provider, please press ?one? now? (wait)? if you are a member, please say ?I?m a member.? ?I?m a member? I?m sorry, I didn?t hear you. If you are a member, please say?? ?I?M A MMMEMMMBBEERRRR!!!!!? All right. Please say or enter your ten digit policy number... (beep beep boop beep)?
Your policy premium is due on?. July? Fourth? Two Thousand ? Twelve? If you?d like make a payment, press ?one? now. If you?d like to speak to a representative regarding claims or benefits please press? (two, right?) I?m sorry; that is not a valid option. Para Español marque el numero ?dos?? Welcome to Blue Shield of Pennsylvania. If you are a health care provider, please press ?one? now? and you listen to the whole god damn thing again to find out that the number you press to get to a person is actually seven, or whatever number they poured thirty million dollars into researching to find out which button was the least intuitive, the least likely one that people would mash just to get to a god damn human being.
Your estimated wait time is? more than? eight? minutes. (music) For claims, benefits, and payment information, please visit our web site at Blueshield pa.com? this is repeated at least ten times in the hope that you will finally just go give them money on the internet and leave them alone. And: Information given about claims and benefits is NOT a guarantee of payment. Don?t think that whatever our employees tell you, which is deeply constrained by layers of corporate vigilance miles thick and thousands of man hours worth of training ? don?t you dare think that what you hear from this person actually means anything. We are not gonna give you any money, okay? Get it? Hang up now and go put your credit card into our web site.
And when you finally get a person on the phone, who you hope just knows of an in-network doctor who MIGHT treat you without some egregious credit-rating-shattering bill showing up later that you will have to get a god damn Act of Congress for them to pay some small part of, that some collection agency out of Nevada will call your parents? home phone about, demanding to speak to you about ?a private matter;? all you want out of them is ?my pussy is damaged, what doctor should I go to,? because when you sign up for insurance they give you a huge book full of the names of doctors but even though the book was printed last year you have called eight of the doctors? offices and they?ve all been out of business since the Reagan administration?
All you want is to find out a god damn doctor who they might pay for, and they won?t even tell you that. They?re just reading out of the same god damn book with Dr. Nadreep Patel in fucking Kensington whom you?ve just verified with the Tandoori Chicken restaurant that took over his phone number has been dead for fifteen years.
And that?s if you have insurance. If you don?t you gotta go sit in an emergency room next to a guy who took his nuts off with a bandsaw, and the both of you have to watch Telemundo over the screams of hyperactive children for twelve hours before being given a quick stitch up and one fifty dollar over-the-counter Tylenol.
But in Holland, this girl had a complicated abortion and was coddled, taken care of, steered carefully along every step of the way. That?s the biggest part of it here? just not knowing. Not knowing if you are even going to be able to get treatment. The psychological burden on top of being physically fucked up, just drives you insane. There, you know you are taken care of.
And imagine if she had the kid? If she had to take care of it and couldn?t work until it was in school, young Johann van der Sloot Junior ? in Holland, some cheerful freshly scrubbed Dutch handmaiden would have shown up every day for free and wiped his ass and made sure he didn?t grab a pan off the stove and pour hot frying oil all over his face, while you went to work if you had to. And if you didn?t want to, if you actually wanted to be around to experience the precious first few years of life of this handsome Dutchman's nutfruit? well, that?s okay, too. They have a welfare state. Here, you gotta put the kid in a fucking dog cage and stick it under the bed, let the kid swim in his own shit for eight hours a day if you don?t have any money. And here he?s gonna grow up and get gutted in a public school by switchblade-wielding Puerto Ricans whose parents can?t help with their homework because they can?t read English? or Spanish. Over there, quality education is fucking free up to the PhD level.
But ? you say ? what about the taxes? Because the Dutch have to pay about half of what they earn out of the job that the government trained them for and probably provided them with ? they have to pay half of this in taxes. Well guess what? I pay a fucking THIRD of what I earn in taxes of some kind: federal tax, state tax, Social Security, unemployment insurance, city tax, sales tax, fuel tax, cigarette tax, CRV tax on the bottle of booze that I?m drinking to forget about all these god damn taxes, the special tax that Philly hits you with for ?solid resources management,? which is $150/year to put a thousand more cops on the streets, and the thousand more cops on the streets are not out there vigilantly preventing crime; they are writing you motherfucking tickets to make more money for the city ? another tax. And soon enough I'll be paying a tax when I want to eat a twinkie or buy a fucking big gulp at WaWa.
So in our free market capitalist society you pay taxes like a MOTHERFUCKER and you get NOTHING in return. Schools like the fucking Thunderdome that you wouldn?t dream of sending your kids to. A massive military that?s out there making sure people keep hating us. Social Security and Medicare to keep old people alive so they can stagger across the crosswalk on their walker with the fucking tennis balls on it at .02 miles an hour when you?re late for work, and we all KNOW that shit isn?t gonna be there when we get old. Unemployment insurance that either your asshole boss or some twatty state clerk will fight like a cornered raccoon to keep you from getting a penny of when you actually need it.
Everywhere in America you fight everything every step of the way; whole huge layers of manpower exist just to put up roadblocks to ensure that you don?t get the service you pay for. In the socialist world, government gives away your tax money freely and stupidly, and that?s GREAT.
Because in this hybrid system we have now, which has the WORST elements of venal, moneygrubbing capitalism ? insurance companies with 50 billion dollar advertising budgets marketing the shit out of policies that will be policed by people who get fired if the policies are allowed to perform as advertised, hospitals overcharging to make up for the losses they take when bums jump the check ? you are already getting fucked by private industry and paying both obvious and hidden taxes through the fucking nose. So either give me a totally free market where shit is cheap and laws are lax and companies compete unregulated, in which case I won?t need to buy health insurance at all since when I get an ear infection I?ll just buy amoxycillin like every fucking retard knows the doctor will end up telling you to do anyway, OR take all this tax money we?re all getting sucked out of us and actually do something with it that helps us.
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