A funny story for currently sober:
People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.
A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.
Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.
Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.
Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.
Original Story Here
People give me a lot of crap because I have one of those old-school flip phones. I recognize that I am living in the mid-2000s and I should have a man phone like an iPhone or Droid or something. Shouldn?t I be asking for one for Christmas? The answer is an emphatic no. You see, my flip phone could beat up your iPhone any day of the freakin? week. Check this example.
A few months ago I had just come back from a fun weekend vacation with the family. We had an amazing time soaking up the sun and had enjoyed many delicious foods. One of those foods had done a number on my stomach, so I was feeling a little bit loose that morning. You know the feeling. Everything is a bit squishy inside you and when you approach a fart there is a slight burn and solid feeling that tickles your anus. I was feeling trepidations about farting, but I was also tired from traveling and just didn?t feel like getting out of bed just to safely sit on the toilet and fart. So I did a small test. I slowly leaned to the right and opened up my anus just enough to let a slight bubble out.
Phew. All clear. No diarrhea. With that I cocked the hammer and braced myself for a bed rattling fart. Upon doing so, I instantly felt the spray up my back and down my crack. I had literally squeezed out a cup full of crap. I immediately flipped on my stomach and checked the bed. Fortunately there had been no soak through yet and the sheets were safe. I hurried and stripped down and soaked my shorts and underwear in the tub and then threw it in the washing machine.
Later, while drying the pants, I noticed that the dryer was making a crazy rattling noise. So I stopped it and took out my shorts, only to discover that I had my flip phone in there. I hurried and took the battery out and put everything in a bowl of rice, but I figured there was no hope. The phone had gone through a whole wash and dry cycle and water was everywhere in the screen.
Well, I was wrong. The phone worked and for quite a while after that. If an iPhone even gets near moisture it breaks. And that is why I?ll stick to my flip phone.
Original Story Here
$30 for a $1 TRIAL 
Comment