I was going 122mph in a 65 and got a dui on top of it

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  • MrMaxwell
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Jul 2005
    • 10057
    #1

    I was going 122mph in a 65 and got a dui on top of it

    It was my birthday and my ex had been in town for a week which was a great source of frustration - but - I went to a strip club (my first time!!) and that was a lot of fun ... one lady even got me to come up to the stage and THEN she got a dollar out of me (which is a big deal because I don't give women money) .. Then back there on the patio I made another stripper mad, something about not tipping, well I didn't even go up to the stage for her anyway

    Well

    And I think the intoxilyzer thing is full of shit too because it gave me a 1.37 and I only had two drinks and was at the club several hours

    PS: Some of you on here were right about me.. I'm not too bright.. My ex has been gone for about what six weeks, and I gambled off all of my money and don't even have my apartment now .. then I let her come back for a week after having been gone 5 so that she could fuck with me some more ..

    But I did learn SOME good news. I can't stand my ex instead of missing her, now, AND I LOVE strip clubs. If anyone knows any secrets about defending a dui I'd appreciate that .. I think I'm slowly beginning to become like that sheen guy .. I mean hell next I'll be doing three years and five years and learning how to do coke off of naked womens buttholes and all of that

    Also as an aside they always say strippers are so dirty. . . the lady who got the dollar out of me put her shit right in my face with her panties pulled to the side. . . and it was one of the cleanest smelling snatches I've ever seen.. ymmv (old people write that- ymmv)
    Tags: None
    • B.Barnato
      So Fucking Banned
      • Nov 2010
      • 3618
      #2

        Comment

        • MrMaxwell
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Jul 2005
          • 10057
          #3
          Originally posted by B.Barnato
          No one is going to help ME but it's nice that GFY exists so I can ramble about my pseudo interesting experiences in the middle of nowhere to people who may have actual lives (which 90% of you don't.. but some do, so..)

            Comment

            • lazycash
              Troll Patrol
              • Aug 2002
              • 15214
              #4
              How'd you get the coupe de ville up to 122 mph?
              "WTF, on google you can find the answer to every question in human history, EXCEPT how to convert cams..

              Its crazy..."

              VenusBlogger

                Comment

                • Socks
                  Confirmed User
                  • May 2002
                  • 8475
                  #5
                  Originally posted by lazycash
                  How'd you get the coupe de ville up to 122 mph?

                    Comment

                    • georgeyw
                      58008 53773
                      • Jul 2005
                      • 9865
                      #6
                      Originally posted by lazycash
                      How'd you get the coupe de ville up to 122 mph?
                      TripleXPrint on Megan Fox
                      "I would STILL suck her pussy until her face caved in. And then blow her up and do it again!"

                        Comment

                        • epitome
                          So Fucking Lame
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 12156
                          #7
                          What's the definition of insanity?

                            Comment

                            • jdavis
                              So Fucking Banned
                              • Apr 2012
                              • 51
                              #8
                              Live with peace and live and this wont happen
                              you could have murdered someone.

                                Comment

                                • BIGTYMER
                                  Junior Achiever
                                  • Nov 2004
                                  • 17066
                                  #9
                                  After a little research here is his mugshot.




                                    Comment

                                    • MrMaxwell
                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                      • Jul 2005
                                      • 10057
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by Socks
                                      That's an eldo.. it actually has two northstars.. one in the front one in the trunk ... supposed to be almost perfectly balanced weight wise and you're going a whole lot more than 122 in that

                                        Comment

                                        • MrMaxwell
                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                          • Jul 2005
                                          • 10057
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by lazycash
                                          How'd you get the coupe de ville up to 122 mph?
                                          Most Devilles are governed down to 112 .. I use to drive mine 111 all day with the cruise on .. good cars

                                          The Concours was governed to 130 I think?

                                          Oh and on the OBDII devilles you could take the limiter off if you did some trickery with a Z rated cars vin or some shit


                                          I was driving a Honda

                                            Comment

                                            • JFK
                                              FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                                              • Jan 2002
                                              • 67373
                                              #12
                                              is this for real ?

                                              FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX
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                                                Comment

                                                • Harmon
                                                  ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)
                                                  • Mar 2004
                                                  • 20012
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by BIGTYMER
                                                  After a little research here is his mugshot.




                                                  [email protected]

                                                    Comment

                                                    • papill0n
                                                      Unregistered Abuser
                                                      • Oct 2007
                                                      • 15547
                                                      #14
                                                      im jerking off to this thread

                                                      hope that helps

                                                        Comment

                                                        • CamTraffic
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Feb 2008
                                                          • 6538
                                                          #15
                                                          I am always buying traffic and white labels. Hit me up.
                                                          Email me HERE!

                                                            Comment

                                                            • iwantchixx
                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                              • Oct 2002
                                                              • 12860
                                                              #16
                                                              1.37 and 122mph?

                                                              You get what's coming to ya.

                                                                Comment

                                                                • Choopa Phil
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Apr 2009
                                                                  • 3965
                                                                  #17
                                                                  You wouldnt be out of jail right now if you had committed that crime.
                                                                  AIM - Choopa Phil
                                                                  Email - [email protected]
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                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • CyberHustler
                                                                      Masterbaiter
                                                                      • Feb 2006
                                                                      • 28750
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Maxwell, you need help bruh. You gonna kill somebody.
                                                                      “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • baddog
                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                          • Apr 2001
                                                                          • 107089
                                                                          #19
                                                                          1.37 you are lucky to be alive

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Boozer
                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                              • Feb 2005
                                                                              • 3134
                                                                              #20
                                                                              1.37?? Am I missing Something?

                                                                              0.03 BAC - Slowed reaction time.
                                                                              0.04 BAC - Federal prohibited limit for commercial drivers license.
                                                                              0.05 BAC - Increased risk taking and American Medical Association recommended prohibited limit.
                                                                              0.08 BAC - Recommended prohibited limit for criminal charges and impaired vision.
                                                                              0.10 BAC - Poor large muscle control, loss of balance, and prohibited limit in most states.
                                                                              0.17 BAC - National average blood alcohol level of drivers in a fatal crash.
                                                                              0.19 BAC - National average for first time DUI offender and of persons who have killed police officers.
                                                                              0.20 BAC - Loss of emotional control.
                                                                              0.22 BAC - National average for replete DUI offenders at time of arrest.
                                                                              0.30 BAC - Loss of orientation as to time and place,.
                                                                              0.35 BAC - Blackouts and stupor.
                                                                              0.50 BAC - Published overdose level leading to death.
                                                                              0.74 BAC - Highest recorded blood alcohol level by a US hospital.

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • Rebel D
                                                                                  Registered User
                                                                                  • Jan 2004
                                                                                  • 3916
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Originally posted by MrBottomTooth
                                                                                  He's got the decimal in the wrong place.
                                                                                  Yeah got to be. or you would be dead

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • lazycash
                                                                                      Troll Patrol
                                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                                      • 15214
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by MrBottomTooth
                                                                                      I don't think it's possible to blow a 0.137 if you only had 2 beers.

                                                                                      Get a DUI lawyer. If you really only had 2 beers then you will probably beat it. Google "last drink defence".

                                                                                      Depends on the laws in your area though.

                                                                                      edit: how much do you weigh?
                                                                                      I think he forgot to mention that the beers were the tall 32 ounce drafts.
                                                                                      "WTF, on google you can find the answer to every question in human history, EXCEPT how to convert cams..

                                                                                      Its crazy..."

                                                                                      VenusBlogger

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • Best-In-BC
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Jun 2002
                                                                                          • 9511
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          I always wonder why fucking people talk to there ex, like seriously, the smartest thing I was doing at the end of all my old relationships I JUST STOPED TALKING TO THEM and all my problems with them would go away :D
                                                                                          Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More
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                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • SmutHammer
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Mar 2008
                                                                                              • 4301
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              How can you go into a strip club and not tip? I'm suprised the bounces didn't throw you out.

                                                                                              Why not just go to a regular bar?

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • CaptainHowdy
                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                  • Dec 2004
                                                                                                  • 94741
                                                                                                  #25

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • bronco67
                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                      • Dec 2006
                                                                                                      • 29032
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      122 mph? Lucky for us that you didn't get killed.

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • LeRoy
                                                                                                          Porn Pusher
                                                                                                          • Jul 2007
                                                                                                          • 13364
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          Originally posted by bronco67
                                                                                                          122 mph? Lucky for us that you didn't get killed.
                                                                                                          or someone else
                                                                                                          JAPANESE CAMS AND CONTENT SITES
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                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • Quagmire
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Jul 2005
                                                                                                              • 6490
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Originally posted by MrBottomTooth
                                                                                                              He's got the decimal in the wrong place.
                                                                                                              He's got more than a decimal in the wrong place.

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • pr0phet
                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                  • Jan 2005
                                                                                                                  • 1041
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Just get drunk and cruise around the supermarket parking lots. Tons of hot women just throw one in the back of the van. Get a friend to help you.. some hot bitches and cheaper than strip clubs.
                                                                                                                  Pr0phet

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • 96ukssob
                                                                                                                      So Fucking Banananananas
                                                                                                                      • Mar 2003
                                                                                                                      • 12991
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      dude, let me help you out.

                                                                                                                      1) go drive your car off a cliff hundreds of miles away. leave NOW

                                                                                                                      2) hitch hike in the opposite direction at least 2x the amount you traveled to the cliff to ditch your car

                                                                                                                      3) 15 minutes into your trip, make the drive stop. get out and throw your wallet out on the OTHER side of the road. take out any money and only leave in credit cards but take the ID

                                                                                                                      4) arrive at your new destination and look for the most shaddy motel you can find.

                                                                                                                      5) this part is key... you want to look for the "fall guy" so look for someone who has been staying at the motel and looks like a drug addict, ideally the same race as you.

                                                                                                                      6) go buy a pizza and rope. now go to the drug addicts door, knock hard and then when he opens, punch him square in the neck. this will cause him to stop breathing for a bit and make sure to knock him to the ground. tie him to whatever you can find.

                                                                                                                      7) now take the rope and give yourself rope burns on your hands and feet. get some paper and write down the names of your relatives and family members. then cross them out and write small $$ amounts next to each.

                                                                                                                      8) smash some of the furniture around then call the police. tell them you've been kidnapped and taken to some weird place. tell the cops someone stole your ID, car and wallet and was going to your house to try and find money.

                                                                                                                      9) last, take the ID and put it in the addicts mouth to get DNA and slobber all over it. now put the ID in HIS/HER pocket and sit outside. put soap in your eyes to help the crying and make sure to emphasis that you were "touched."

                                                                                                                      10) tell them you were kidnapped hours before when you got pulled over. cops are stupid and not want to admit they made a mistake, but rather go along with your lie so they don't get in trouble
                                                                                                                      Email: Clicky on Me

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                          • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                          • 10057
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          No no .137

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                              • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                              • 10057
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Being in Kansas for too long turns your brain to mush. I swear. I use to be a lot more mindful.

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                                  • 10057
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by bossku69
                                                                                                                                  dude, let me help you out.

                                                                                                                                  1) go drive your car off a cliff hundreds of miles away. leave NOW

                                                                                                                                  2) hitch hike in the opposite direction at least 2x the amount you traveled to the cliff to ditch your car

                                                                                                                                  3) 15 minutes into your trip, make the drive stop. get out and throw your wallet out on the OTHER side of the road. take out any money and only leave in credit cards but take the ID

                                                                                                                                  4) arrive at your new destination and look for the most shaddy motel you can find.

                                                                                                                                  5) this part is key... you want to look for the "fall guy" so look for someone who has been staying at the motel and looks like a drug addict, ideally the same race as you.

                                                                                                                                  6) go buy a pizza and rope. now go to the drug addicts door, knock hard and then when he opens, punch him square in the neck. this will cause him to stop breathing for a bit and make sure to knock him to the ground. tie him to whatever you can find.

                                                                                                                                  7) now take the rope and give yourself rope burns on your hands and feet. get some paper and write down the names of your relatives and family members. then cross them out and write small $$ amounts next to each.

                                                                                                                                  8) smash some of the furniture around then call the police. tell them you've been kidnapped and taken to some weird place. tell the cops someone stole your ID, car and wallet and was going to your house to try and find money.

                                                                                                                                  9) last, take the ID and put it in the addicts mouth to get DNA and slobber all over it. now put the ID in HIS/HER pocket and sit outside. put soap in your eyes to help the crying and make sure to emphasis that you were "touched."

                                                                                                                                  10) tell them you were kidnapped hours before when you got pulled over. cops are stupid and not want to admit they made a mistake, but rather go along with your lie so they don't get in trouble


                                                                                                                                  I actually know a guy who could get away with that.. for real

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • O MARINA
                                                                                                                                      I'm clockin' ya, Versace shade watchin' ya
                                                                                                                                      • Mar 2003
                                                                                                                                      • 13796
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Best-In-BC
                                                                                                                                      I always wonder why fucking people talk to there ex, like seriously, the smartest thing I was doing at the end of all my old relationships I JUST STOPED TALKING TO THEM and all my problems with them would go away :D
                                                                                                                                      This is exactly what I thought too when I read this love story.

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • AMDWarrior
                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                          • Nov 2006
                                                                                                                                          • 1488
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Fucking dumbass hope you go to jail.

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                              • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                                              • 10057
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by AMDWarrior
                                                                                                                                              Fucking dumbass hope you go to jail.

                                                                                                                                              Don't worry.. I definitely will... 90 days to 1 year
                                                                                                                                              I so do not want to do that but when you're poor you go

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                                                  • 10057
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Well not to mention when you're stupid enough to do what I did

                                                                                                                                                  I still say the .137 is crazy - I had two drinks over several hours

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • TheSquealer
                                                                                                                                                      Mayor of Thneedville
                                                                                                                                                      • Oct 2004
                                                                                                                                                      • 26179
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      I feel stupid now for calling this guy a dipshit in the beginning. Can't believe I actually thought he was a loser destined for prison or an early grave.

                                                                                                                                                      This is particularly hard for me because i've always considered myself to one who can read people quite well... not sure how I could have been so far off on this one.

                                                                                                                                                      .
                                                                                                                                                      Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens.

                                                                                                                                                      Rochard

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • DudeRick
                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                                                                                                                          • 1568
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          It's time for rehab maxwell!

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • Spunky
                                                                                                                                                              I need a beer
                                                                                                                                                              • Jun 2002
                                                                                                                                                              • 133986
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              Hope you don't get raped by the big black men

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                                                                  • 10057
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5puAN1PGQw

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                      • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                                                                      • 10057
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by DudeRick
                                                                                                                                                                      It's time for rehab maxwell!
                                                                                                                                                                      No it's time for death before strugglin

                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                        • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                                                                          • 10057
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by Spunky
                                                                                                                                                                          Hope you don't get raped by the big black men
                                                                                                                                                                          I won't
                                                                                                                                                                          I was in county before and I did fine
                                                                                                                                                                          I even lived in the big scary white people area of the pod because I was making good trades and shit .. I always profited but when one of them was ever hard up for lunch or something I had their back

                                                                                                                                                                          The black guys thought I was crazy but we did good business they always wanted combs and always had coffee sweetner for some reason so that worked out great
                                                                                                                                                                          Ran into one of them on the outs and we ended up driving around and he was all hard inside but when he saw my gun he's WOW YOU REALLY HAVE ONE IS IT LOADED all bug eyed L O L

                                                                                                                                                                          Now if I went to prison god knows what would happen. . Not sure I'd make it there. . I heart that some are easy and others are gladiator school so

                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                                            • garce
                                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                              • Oct 2001
                                                                                                                                                                              • 7103
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              And here I am thinking that I'm an idiot. I STILL have a ways to go, it seems...

                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                • MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2005
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 10057
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  Yeah it's like I'm someone else the past few years
                                                                                                                                                                                  I think my brain scan would show a lot of alcohol damage

                                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                    • John-ACWM
                                                                                                                                                                                      Work Work Work
                                                                                                                                                                                      • Nov 2008
                                                                                                                                                                                      • 20060
                                                                                                                                                                                      #46
                                                                                                                                                                                      only bad news

                                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                        • GregE
                                                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                          • Jul 2004
                                                                                                                                                                                          • 2704
                                                                                                                                                                                          #47
                                                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by MrMaxwell
                                                                                                                                                                                          Well not to mention when you're stupid enough to do what I did

                                                                                                                                                                                          I still say the .137 is crazy - I had two drinks over several hours
                                                                                                                                                                                          Two 16oz glasses of Everclear?

                                                                                                                                                                                          Just kidding with you.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Get yourself a decent lawyer and the consequences will be greatly diminished.

                                                                                                                                                                                          50/50 lifetime payout - EXCLUSIVE CONTENT - CCBill
                                                                                                                                                                                          CLiCK here for your Bun Beating Dollars.

                                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                            • Blingbaby
                                                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                              • Mar 2006
                                                                                                                                                                                              • 1079
                                                                                                                                                                                              #48
                                                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by Spunky
                                                                                                                                                                                              Hope you don't get raped by the big black men
                                                                                                                                                                                              I don't think they tip either so he'll fit right in, or they'll fit right in or something

                                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                                • Blingbaby
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Mar 2006
                                                                                                                                                                                                  • 1079
                                                                                                                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by GregE
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Two 16oz glasses of Everclear?

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Just kidding with you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Get yourself a decent lawyer and the consequences will be greatly diminished.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  I had a friend some years ago that went through this and it cost some $5k for the lawyer to get him out of the jail sentence.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                                    • TheSquealer
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Mayor of Thneedville
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Oct 2004
                                                                                                                                                                                                      • 26179
                                                                                                                                                                                                      #50
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Again, I feel that its appropriate that I apologize both for myself and on behalf of Warchild for our exercising of what was clearly extremely poor judgement in calling you out as a broke, addict loser leaching off his girlfriend and who will never have a life above ground or outside the penal system.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      NASA is surely keeping your resume at the top of the pile.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      You'll do fine.
                                                                                                                                                                                                      .
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Rochard

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

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