what the fuck do i do now?

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  • k0nr4d
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2006
    • 9231
    #1

    what the fuck do i do now?

    There's been a dead deer in the ditch between the road and my house for over a week now. I've been reporting it to the county every day and they still haven't picked it up. It's illegal for me to move it myself, not that I would now anyways. There is water in the ditch so it's laying half submerged.. A week ago before it was all decomposed and gross i'd put it on a wheelbarrow and toss it into the forest - now I can't get closer then 3 meters without vomiting. Something has been eating it overnight every night too...

    What do i do so this fucking thing doesn't smell so bad? It's supposed to be like 24-25c all week and this mega fermented corpse is gonna smell even worse.
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    • Harmon
      ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)
      • Mar 2004
      • 20012
      #2
      Call 911 from a pay phone anonymously and report a dead body in the ditch. All the cops and shit will show up and see it's only a deer and remove it.
      [email protected]

        Comment

        • papill0n
          Unregistered Abuser
          • Oct 2007
          • 15547
          #3
          order a couple cubic meters of soil and cover it up

            Comment

            • k0nr4d
              Confirmed User
              • Aug 2006
              • 9231
              #4
              Originally posted by papill0n
              order a couple cubic meters of soil and cover it up
              I can't fill in the ditch, my yard would flood.
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                Comment

                • bean-aid
                  So Fucking Banned
                  • Jun 2011
                  • 16493
                  #5
                  dump a bunch of lime on it... or just get a shovel and bury it.

                    Comment

                    • k0nr4d
                      Confirmed User
                      • Aug 2006
                      • 9231
                      #6
                      Originally posted by beaner
                      dump a bunch of lime on it... or just get a shovel and bury it.
                      Lime as in the fruit? or is there something else?
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                        Comment

                        • Harmon
                          ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)
                          • Mar 2004
                          • 20012
                          #7
                          For the retarded: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lime_%28material%29
                          [email protected]

                            Comment

                            • BIGTYMER
                              Junior Achiever
                              • Nov 2004
                              • 17066
                              #8
                              Just pull it out and bury it. They won't fine you.

                                Comment

                                • raymor
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Oct 2002
                                  • 3745
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by k0nr4d
                                  now I can't get closer then 3 meters without vomiting. Something has been eating it overnight every night too...

                                  What do i do so this fucking thing doesn't smell so bad? It's supposed to be like 24-25c all week and this mega fermented corpse is gonna smell even worse.
                                  I hope things keep eating at it, getting rid of it. 25C should be a good temperature for it to rot away pretty quick. Until then, I hope your house is a lot more than 3 meters away.

                                  According to one source, it should be skeletonized two to four weeks after death in warm, moist conditions:
                                  http://users.skynet.be/lilith/english/deathtodust.html

                                  Since it's already been over a week, hopefully the worst is over. Several inches of wood chips over the carcass can accelerate composting by keeping the heat in while allowing some airflow.
                                  Last edited by raymor; 04-23-2012, 08:56 PM.
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                                    • NALEM
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Nov 2010
                                      • 3165
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by k0nr4d
                                      There's been a dead deer in the ditch between the road and my house for over a week now. I've been reporting it to the county every day and they still haven't picked it up. It's illegal for me to move it myself, not that I would now anyways. There is water in the ditch so it's laying half submerged.. A week ago before it was all decomposed and gross i'd put it on a wheelbarrow and toss it into the forest - now I can't get closer then 3 meters without vomiting. Something has been eating it overnight every night too...

                                      What do i do so this fucking thing doesn't smell so bad? It's supposed to be like 24-25c all week and this mega fermented corpse is gonna smell even worse.
                                      Go to the cemetary where they bury the humans, offer the grave diggers a few Zloty's to get rid of it.
                                      "The time men spend in trying to impress others they could spend in doing the things by which others would be impressed."

                                        Comment

                                        • bean-aid
                                          So Fucking Banned
                                          • Jun 2011
                                          • 16493
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by raymor
                                          I hope things keep eating at it, getting rid of it. 25C should be a good temperature for it to rot away pretty quick. Until then, I hope your house is a lot more than 3 meters away.

                                          According to one source, it should be skeletonized two to four weeks after death in warm, moist conditions:
                                          http://users.skynet.be/lilith/english/deathtodust.html

                                          Since it's already been over a week, hopefully the worst is over.
                                          that's what happened to casey anthony's daughter... warm, florida tempatures decomposed to quickly to get any real evidence

                                            Comment

                                            • Mr Pheer
                                              So Fucking Banned
                                              • Dec 2002
                                              • 22082
                                              #12
                                              Call the county health department, and be sure to remind them that it is a cholera risk.

                                                Comment

                                                • NaughtyVisions
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • May 2008
                                                  • 4204
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by Harmon
                                                  For the retarded: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lime_%28material%29
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                                                    Comment

                                                    • epitome
                                                      So Fucking Lame
                                                      • Jun 2009
                                                      • 12156
                                                      #14
                                                      In addition to lime, write a 3,000 word letter to the editor of the local newspaper about how the government failed you and now you're sick.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • XSAXS
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Nov 2004
                                                          • 652
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by Harmon
                                                          Call 911 from a pay phone anonymously and report a dead body in the ditch. All the cops and shit will show up and see it's only a deer and remove it.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Rochard
                                                              Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                                              • Dec 2001
                                                              • 75733
                                                              #16
                                                              Be a fucking man and remove the fucking dead deer. We used to do this all the time when I lived out in the sticks.
                                                              Herschel Savage
                                                              Brooklyn, NY

                                                                Comment

                                                                • Just Alex
                                                                  Liv Benson to You, Bitch
                                                                  • Aug 2007
                                                                  • 6060
                                                                  #17
                                                                  You should ask Paul Markham first.

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • k0nr4d
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Aug 2006
                                                                      • 9231
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Originally posted by Just Alex
                                                                      You should ask Paul Markham first.
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                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • SomeCreep
                                                                          :glugglug
                                                                          • Mar 2003
                                                                          • 26118
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Originally posted by k0nr4d
                                                                          There's been a dead deer in the ditch between the road and my house for over a week now. I've been reporting it to the county every day and they still haven't picked it up. It's illegal for me to move it myself, not that I would now anyways. There is water in the ditch so it's laying half submerged.. A week ago before it was all decomposed and gross i'd put it on a wheelbarrow and toss it into the forest - now I can't get closer then 3 meters without vomiting. Something has been eating it overnight every night too...

                                                                          What do i do so this fucking thing doesn't smell so bad? It's supposed to be like 24-25c all week and this mega fermented corpse is gonna smell even worse.
                                                                          3 numbers. Dial them.

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                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Fat Panda
                                                                              Porn is Dead. Move along.
                                                                              • Aug 2006
                                                                              • 13296
                                                                              #20
                                                                              gasoline...

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • 2MuchMark
                                                                                  Mark of 2Much.net
                                                                                  • Aug 2004
                                                                                  • 50921
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Originally posted by k0nr4d
                                                                                  Lime as in the fruit? or is there something else?

                                                                                  Sorry, I had to LOL when I read this.

                                                                                  Hope your problem has been solved.

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • brassmonkey
                                                                                      Pay It Forward
                                                                                      • Sep 2005
                                                                                      • 77385
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by NaughtyVisions
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                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • BladeZ
                                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                                          • Mar 2004
                                                                                          • 272
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          set it on fire

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • BlackCrayon
                                                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                              • Jun 2003
                                                                                              • 19634
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              you live in euro land, they won't help you. can you push it completely into the water? that might help the smell and make it decompose faster.
                                                                                              you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • pornmasta
                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                  • Jun 2006
                                                                                                  • 19815
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Lime !

                                                                                                  It worls also with dead cats

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • Eyeball
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Jul 2011
                                                                                                      • 552
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by k0nr4d
                                                                                                      - now I can't get closer then 3 meters without vomiting. Something has been eating it overnight every night too...
                                                                                                      Sounds like my wifes cunt.

                                                                                                      VideosZ

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • Eroberlin
                                                                                                          Registered User
                                                                                                          • Jan 2010
                                                                                                          • 89
                                                                                                          #27
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                                                                                                            • Eyeball
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Jul 2011
                                                                                                              • 552
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Originally posted by Eroberlin
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                                                                                                                • asdasd
                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                  • Feb 2005
                                                                                                                  • 1225
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Rochard
                                                                                                                  Be a fucking man and remove the fucking dead deer. We used to do this all the time when I lived out in the sticks.
                                                                                                                  Your brain may never have returned with you Mr. Tull.

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • PR_Glen
                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                      • Oct 2006
                                                                                                                      • 9058
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Harmon
                                                                                                                      Call 911 from a pay phone anonymously and report a dead body in the ditch. All the cops and shit will show up and see it's only a deer and remove it.
                                                                                                                      yeah, they'll never figure out that one...
                                                                                                                      webmaster at pimproll dot com

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • Barefootsies
                                                                                                                          Choice is an Illusion
                                                                                                                          • Feb 2005
                                                                                                                          • 42635
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          1. Pour gasoline on it.
                                                                                                                          2. Lite it on fire.
                                                                                                                          3. Wait awhile for it to burn up.
                                                                                                                          4. Call fire department.

                                                                                                                          Problem solved.

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                                                                                                                            • freecartoonporn
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Jan 2012
                                                                                                                              • 7683
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              few gallons of gas and matchstick and voila.
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                                                                                                                                • eroticsexxx
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                  • 3133
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Barefootsies
                                                                                                                                  1. Pour gasoline on it.
                                                                                                                                  2. Lite it on fire.
                                                                                                                                  3. Wait awhile for it to burn up.
                                                                                                                                  4. Call fire department.

                                                                                                                                  Problem solved.

                                                                                                                                  This.

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