When family members pass

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  • Rochard
    Jägermeister Test Pilot
    • Dec 2001
    • 75733
    #1

    When family members pass

    My father died when I was nine months old, and the only people who have died in my family have been my grandparents whom I was never close to. A friend of mine just had her father pass away, and she's on Facebook moaning and groaning and posting up pictures of him.

    Is this normal when a close family member dies?
    Herschel Savage
    Brooklyn, NY
    Tags: None
    • AaronM
      GFY Royality ;)
      • Oct 2001
      • 46923
      #2
      Unfortunately, what was once considered normal has been forever changed by social media.

      It's not normal to me but then again, neither is texting a full conversation back and forth. Yet, people do it all the time.

        Comment

        • cthulhu_waves
          Confirmed User
          • Mar 2007
          • 1966
          #3
          Yes, it appears some people do, even when their pets die. I, on the other hand, have a great need to keep my mouth shut.
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            • garce
              Confirmed User
              • Oct 2001
              • 7103
              #4
              I've had a lot of people I love die on me. None of us are social media animals. A member of a close friend's family dies, its all Get together, be there if they need you, have some laughs, eat some food, tell - or laugh at - some old jokes, carry the coffin.

              When I die, I don't want Facebook or Twitter - or GFY - to know. Or care. Death is a very personal thing. One good friend means more than 1000 pathetic, patronizing IPad shitheels.

              Be there in person, or shut the fuck up.

                Comment

                • Mrwww
                  Confirmed User
                  • Mar 2012
                  • 374
                  #5
                  I dont think i would take my grief to social media.

                  I'd be in my bedroom with a bucket of chicken and a bottle of vodka.


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                    • MaDalton
                      I am Amazing Content!
                      • Feb 2004
                      • 39861
                      #6
                      everyone is an individual human being
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                        • epitome
                          So Fucking Lame
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 12156
                          #7
                          I've been lucky in that I've had very few of the people most important to me die. As they age I know that will change and I am not looking forward to it.

                          I was in the hospital when my grandfather died and still in during his funeral. One of my only regrets in life, despite it being out of my control.

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                            • Deej
                              I make pixels work
                              • Jun 2005
                              • 24386
                              #8
                              Originally posted by MaDalton
                              everyone is an individual human being
                              exactly. While I dont agree with how other people handle things... its hypocritical to sit and say that its not understandable or right when you simply feel the other way about it.

                              I dont mind people "moaning and groaning" when it first happens. What I dont like is when I see people making fanpages and facebook profiles for dead people.

                              I have a friend on here that passed and its just her page and I get reminders once inawhile because no one has deleted it. But I also see "people I may know" that are dead and its just their family or friend making the page and keeping it up and going just to keep their thought alive? I dont know... that part I dont like.

                              Deej's Designs n' What Not
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                                • Tofu
                                  The Video Specialist
                                  • Jul 2003
                                  • 5615
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by Mrwww

                                  I'd be in my bedroom with a bucket of chicken and a bottle of vodka.
                                  I'd do the same (especially the chicken part), but I'd probably put like one or two pics on facebook and say something on twitter. I happen to be immersed in social media and would feel the need to share a few seconds of my grief.
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                                    • Barefootsies
                                      Choice is an Illusion
                                      • Feb 2005
                                      • 42635
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by Rochard
                                      My father died when I was nine months old...

                                      A friend of mine just had her father pass away, and she's on Facebook moaning and groaning and posting up pictures of him.

                                      Is this normal when a close family member dies?
                                      Originally posted by AaronM
                                      Unfortunately, what was once considered normal has been forever changed by social media.
                                      Indeed. Seems to be what others are doing now a days in today's society when something like that happens. Months of ranting, pictures, and prayers for their loved ones.

                                      I can't relate, as my parents were gone in my early teens, the rest of my family gone by 20 other than a sibling.

                                      While the computer age was more a less going into full swing, you did not have the social networks, and all of the "outlets" you have today. Seems now.... everyone gets an ongoing public tribute as if they were a celebrity.

                                      Last edited by Barefootsies; 04-23-2012, 01:53 PM.
                                      Should You Email Your Members?

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                                      Enough Said.

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                                        • epitome
                                          So Fucking Lame
                                          • Jun 2009
                                          • 12156
                                          #11
                                          I don't mind the public grieving if they were really close to the person.

                                          What I can't stand are the people that never had a nice thing to say about somebody but as soon as that person dies they become a wreck. Shut the fuck up you worthless attention whore.

                                            Comment

                                            • Brujah
                                              Beer Money Baron
                                              • Jan 2001
                                              • 22157
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Rochard
                                              My father died when I was nine months old, and the only people who have died in my family have been my grandparents whom I was never close to. A friend of mine just had her father pass away, and she's on Facebook moaning and groaning and posting up pictures of him.

                                              Is this normal when a close family member dies?
                                              Yes. It helps her mourn with others who knew him, other family members, and friends that knew him. Especially when families and friends are spread apart so much around the nation. It's as important or more to her as whether someone wants to share a song, a recipe, or whatever. Social media provides the tools to customize who sees specific posts but she may not be thinking about sharing it only with certain people and then everyone else is seeing it too, or maybe she thought you were a close enough friend that you wouldn't be bothered with it. I think the respectful thing to do is just Unsubscribe from her posts for awhile if it bugs you, or wait it out. No different than people posting here about their loss of famil or pets here really. I've had a great deal of loss in my family lately, and some of my relatives are mourning this way too.

                                                Comment

                                                • Barefootsies
                                                  Choice is an Illusion
                                                  • Feb 2005
                                                  • 42635
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by Mrwww
                                                  I dont think i would take my grief to social media.

                                                  I'd be in my bedroom with a bucket of chicken and a bottle of vodka.
                                                  I honestly do not know what I would do at this point. It's been 20 years thankfully.

                                                  It's not to say that I have not had members of my high school graduating class, or others I have know die (friends of friends, acquaintances, etc.). Some of my friend's parents are starting to get to that age, and they are getting their first taste of death/loss.

                                                  They will ask me how I dealt with it, and I can honestly say no clue. It's been almost 30 years with my parents, and 20 for grandparents. None of which honestly could be applicable to someone who had gotten to enjoy the company, guidance, and security of having their parents around half their lives. Simply no comparison.

                                                  For the most part I am awkward in those situations, if not emotionally dead.

                                                  Last edited by Barefootsies; 04-23-2012, 02:03 PM.
                                                  Should You Email Your Members?

                                                  Link1 | Link2 | Link3

                                                  Enough Said.

                                                  "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Deej
                                                      I make pixels work
                                                      • Jun 2005
                                                      • 24386
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by Barefootsies
                                                      For the most part I am awkward in those situations, if not emotionally dead.

                                                      Same here. If they are close. I break down once and then from then on I am near stone when it comes to the situation. People always ask me at funerals or "after parties" how I handle like I do. I have my thoughts but I suppress them visually. I dont bring it up and I dont glorify. Makes it easier for me and helps others stay strong.

                                                      Deej's Designs n' What Not
                                                      Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching


                                                      Icq#30096880

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Rochard
                                                          Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                                          • Dec 2001
                                                          • 75733
                                                          #15
                                                          I've never been through this or anything close.

                                                          My wife's brother died shortly after I met her - twenty years ago - and they still "celebrate" his death every year. It just seems so odd to me.

                                                          My father died when I was nine months old, and nothing was ever said to me when I was a kid. I know when his birthday is (next month really) and the day he died. It's in my google calendar, and I'll think about it briefly that day but I don't even mention it to anyone.
                                                          Herschel Savage
                                                          Brooklyn, NY

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