Dr. Seuss AK47 vs. AR15 Debate
I would not use it in a war,
I would not buy it in a store,
I do not like the black AR,
It is not from USSR.
I do not like them, Sam-I-Am
I much prefer the Abakan.
Would you like it from the states?
Or would you like a snowy place?
Would you like to shoot it fast?
Or would you like it from the past?
I'm sure you'll like a new AR,
And not something from the Czar.
I would not use it in the mud,
I would not use it to spill blood,
I do not like Gene Stoner's gun
I don't find maintenance to be fun.
The only rifles that I love
Come from Mikhail Kalashnikov.
Would you use it in a pinch?
Will you not budge a single inch?
Will you set aside this dross,
and accept Eugene as boss?
I'm sure if you weren't quite so crass,
you'd love to cook with DI gas.
I would not use it as a bat
I would not use it to shoot rats
I do not like your M16,
That will not shoot if not kept clean.
Plastic and alloy's not as good
As rifle made of steel and wood.
Would you use it as a pike?
Mount on it a steel spike?
Would you choose the lighter weight,
one less thing on march to hate?
If you choose the lighter kick,
you could kill most any prick.
I would not take it on parade
I would not take it on a raid
I do not like your armalite
I do not trust it in a fight.
Your western rifle has no charms
It can't match mother Russia's arms.
Don't you like it's svelte profile?
Don't you find the stock worthwhile?
Can't you see the safety's best?
Won't you even give a test?
Your Kalashnikov's a peasant's joke,
good for nothing but wood smoke.
I would not use it to scoop crap
I would not melt it down for scrap
I do not like your twenty-two
That fragments when it should go through.
The Russian peasants all enjoy
The joke that is your plastic toy.
Would you try it if free-floated?
Surely then there's nothing bloated.
Would you lay down in the grass,
feel the trigger break like glass?
With AK, before you quit,
Broad side of barn you will not hit.
I would not buy it in a store,
I do not like the black AR,
It is not from USSR.
I do not like them, Sam-I-Am
I much prefer the Abakan.
Would you like it from the states?
Or would you like a snowy place?
Would you like to shoot it fast?
Or would you like it from the past?
I'm sure you'll like a new AR,
And not something from the Czar.
I would not use it in the mud,
I would not use it to spill blood,
I do not like Gene Stoner's gun
I don't find maintenance to be fun.
The only rifles that I love
Come from Mikhail Kalashnikov.
Would you use it in a pinch?
Will you not budge a single inch?
Will you set aside this dross,
and accept Eugene as boss?
I'm sure if you weren't quite so crass,
you'd love to cook with DI gas.
I would not use it as a bat
I would not use it to shoot rats
I do not like your M16,
That will not shoot if not kept clean.
Plastic and alloy's not as good
As rifle made of steel and wood.
Would you use it as a pike?
Mount on it a steel spike?
Would you choose the lighter weight,
one less thing on march to hate?
If you choose the lighter kick,
you could kill most any prick.
I would not take it on parade
I would not take it on a raid
I do not like your armalite
I do not trust it in a fight.
Your western rifle has no charms
It can't match mother Russia's arms.
Don't you like it's svelte profile?
Don't you find the stock worthwhile?
Can't you see the safety's best?
Won't you even give a test?
Your Kalashnikov's a peasant's joke,
good for nothing but wood smoke.
I would not use it to scoop crap
I would not melt it down for scrap
I do not like your twenty-two
That fragments when it should go through.
The Russian peasants all enjoy
The joke that is your plastic toy.
Would you try it if free-floated?
Surely then there's nothing bloated.
Would you lay down in the grass,
feel the trigger break like glass?
With AK, before you quit,
Broad side of barn you will not hit.
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