Movie casting for Porn Documentary - GoFuckYourself.com

VirtuMike · 01-26-2003, 05:43 AM

I really should cast a movie based on my career in the porn biz.

I would cast the following:

Me: Brendan Fraser
Dman: Woody Harrelson
Amber and Rett: Too bad Audrey Hepburn's not around anymore... So we'll go with Jennifer Aniston and Marky Mark (just like rock star)
Meir from Date.com: Seinfeld. Duh!
Miss Bunny: Nicole Kidman of course!
Al from Webpower: the dude that plays Charlie from Charlie's Angels (heard but never seen!)
KMan: Jason Leigh or that dude from Van Wilder
Seth: Joe Pesce
The Porn Star I used to work with: Roseanne Barr or Howard Stern in drag...
Dominic from Webpower: John Goodman
Rick YNOT: Michael J. Fox
Webfather: Richard Belzer
RB: Tom Cruise
The girls that keep appearing in my dreams: Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, Winona Ryder, and Elle Macpherson
My ex girlfriend: that little hottie from Sports Night that was going out with the geek. MAN I loved that show.
Ron Jeremy: John Lovitz

What a movie that would be! Any more ideas?

pornJester · 01-26-2003, 05:46 AM

Tom Cruise could play me

pornJester · 01-26-2003, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pornJester
Tom Cruise could play me

shit, RB already got tom, hmmm, maybe vin diesel can play me then

also...

Lensman: Mel Gibson
Serge: Sean Connery

VirtuMike · 01-26-2003, 05:56 AM

Think DiCaprio.

Yeah I could see Gibson as Lens and Connery as Serge. But it would have to be a combination of Connery in Red October and Connery as Indiana Jones' dad. Maybe with the dialog written by a pro wrestler.

Scootermuze · 01-26-2003, 06:01 AM

As fun of a post as this may be.. you could possibly be onto somethin.. probably not with the cast as desired, but someone with a little creativity and follow-through could do somethin with that idea.

Perhaps not a box office hit, but, "The Life Of...." , done up right, could make good at some of the film fests..

Ok... more coffee fer me!!

VirtuMike · 01-26-2003, 12:03 PM

Oh yeah, and I left out Shanaia Twain. I want her in there somewhere. Maybe as my third grade teacher. That would explain a great many things about the way I turned out.

Hmmmm... or a lesbian gym teacher.

Tanker · 01-26-2003, 12:07 PM

I would be played by ricky schroader

LOL

Sarah_Jayne · 01-26-2003, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by VirtuMike
I really should cast a movie based on my career in the porn biz.

I would cast the following:

KMan: Jason Leigh or that dude from Van Wilder

What a movie that would be! Any more ideas?

Jason would get me there on his own *hubba hubba*

Jakke PNG · 01-26-2003, 12:14 PM

..too bad john candy won't be around to play me.

VirtuMike · 01-26-2003, 12:38 PM

HAHAHA Ricky Schroeder. That's good casting. Either that or Spank the Monkey from Son of the Beach.

And starring Anthony Michael Hall as Lightspeed!

HAHAHA just had a thought, we're like porn's Brat Pack.

Zebra · 01-26-2003, 01:05 PM

Anthony Edwards from ER could play me.
Bruce Willis could play JoeE.
Goldberg could play BT

I always thought Yakov Smirnov would make a good Serge.

SteveLightspeed · 01-26-2003, 02:41 PM

Charlie Sheen could play me, I hear he has a cheerleader fetish too.

Steve Lightspeed

Jizar II · 01-26-2003, 02:49 PM

Tom Green should be casted as the famous "AbuckOr2"...

SleazyDream · 01-26-2003, 02:52 PM

The Rock could play me if he buffed up a bit before the film.

FreeNetPass Dave · 01-26-2003, 03:15 PM

Lensman played by Cory Feldman.

Manny The Freak · 01-26-2003, 04:48 PM

You would play the fat old pervert.

RRRED · 01-26-2003, 06:05 PM

Ricky Schroeder ROFLMAO

Nice one, Tanker...

VirtuMike · 01-29-2003, 06:35 AM

Yeah, I think Bruce Willis as Joe E and Goldberg as BT would be perfect.

Yakov Smirnov as Serge is also perfect.

I want to fit Gary Coleman in there somehow. Maybe as Silverstein. HAHAHAHA

Emilio Estevez as Epoch Clay

The dude that played Pig Vomit from Howard Stern Private Parts as Epoch Rand. Please don't beat me in Jamaica for that I'm kidding...

John Larroquette as CCBill Ron

Pretty much any Bond girl can play Tanya from Good Thinxxx

LAJ · 01-29-2003, 09:22 AM

VirtuMike... are you serious with this shit?? Dude... you suck at casting.

VirtuMike · 01-29-2003, 09:31 AM

Are you kidding me?

These are GREAT castings...

And playing LAJ we have either Carrot Top or Seth Green.

pornJester · 01-29-2003, 09:34 AM

I think Kevin Bacon would make a good Lightspeed

LAJ · 01-29-2003, 09:39 AM

Good choice porn Jester.

Virtumike... your head is buried deep within the colon. Alright I'll bite back... Jarod before he discovered Subway could play a damn good Virtumike.

VirtuMike · 01-29-2003, 09:52 AM

LAJ, I take back taking back that thing I said about your mother.

Brujah · 01-29-2003, 10:01 AM

That would rock.. someone write the book first though.

ElvisManson · 01-29-2003, 10:05 AM

Hey Virtu Mike,

i think getting an Elvis Impersonator to play you would be better...lol

Now where is that damn pic I have of you in a elvis costume...

dacash · 01-29-2003, 10:08 AM

You forgot to cast El Nino

jreaka · 01-29-2003, 10:10 AM

Toodamnfli looks a little like Gary Coleman!

Zebra · 01-29-2003, 10:41 AM

Gary Coleman as SixNine!

VirtuMike · 01-29-2003, 02:42 PM

HAHAHA fucking Gary Coleman on 8 foot stilts as SixNine!

Try Minut Bol maybe. That dude is like the tallest webmaster in the game.

Whatchoo talkin bout VirtuMike?

Cheshire · 01-29-2003, 02:53 PM

I'd want to be played by Charo

VirtuMike · 01-30-2003, 01:26 PM

Charo?

Eric · 01-30-2003, 01:33 PM

I am going to go with Joaquin Phoenix for myself. What do you guys think?

Him

Me

KC · 01-30-2003, 01:34 PM

Seth would be played by Macaulay Culkin
Fantasyman would be played by Joe Pesci
Chris aka Pornoman would be played by Brad Pitt

Cheshire · 01-30-2003, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by VirtuMike
Charo?

Yes?

KC · 01-30-2003, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
Yes?

What about Zsa Zsa Gabor?

haggard · 01-30-2003, 01:36 PM

Ron Jeremy: John Lovitz

LOL! that would match so good.

KC · 01-30-2003, 01:36 PM

Brad Shaw would be played by Stephen Baldwin

Cheshire · 01-30-2003, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KC
What about Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Pre or Post cop slapping?

Kimmykim · 01-30-2003, 01:38 PM

Mike Myers would be the perfect 'lensman in miami in his blue suit' body double...

I'd like to see dick van patten playing someone...

kristin · 01-30-2003, 01:40 PM

VirtuMike would be Chief Wiggum <-- that's for not including me on your list!!!

KC · 01-30-2003, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
Pre or Post cop slapping?

Hmm...

Maybe you can be Pre Slapping..

and KimmyKim can be Post Slapping Zsa Zsa! ;)

Brad Mitchell · 01-30-2003, 01:51 PM

I can't believe you cast yourself as Brendan Frasier...

Zebra · 01-30-2003, 02:41 PM

Mike cast the gay Brendon Frasier from "Gods & Monsters" as himself

SykkBoy · 01-30-2003, 03:41 PM

hmmm, SykkBoy cast with long hair, dredlocks or short hair?
bah, Gary Oldman could do all of them, he's a bit old for the part but is one of the greatest actors of all time...

Fairuza Balk would play my wife...although if they did that, I would be up for playing myself....an there would be a lot more sex scenes and nudity in the movie....

VirtuMike · 02-01-2003, 02:52 PM

The dude from Smashing Pumpkins would make an excellent KC

I'm still on Yakov Smirnoff as Serge.

WHAT A COUNTRY!

TheGoldenChild · 02-01-2003, 04:28 PM

Me? Nick Cage......all the way!

VirtuMike · 02-03-2003, 03:49 PM

Dick Van Patton could be Hank AKA Mr. Skin... Or we could use Sherman Helmsley... They have very similar personalities...

WEEZIE!

Rand · 02-04-2003, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by VirtuMike
Yeah, I think Bruce Willis as Joe E and Goldberg as BT would be perfect.

Emilio Estevez as Epoch Clay

The dude that played Pig Vomit from Howard Stern Private Parts as Epoch Rand. Please don't beat me in Jamaica for that I'm kidding...

John Larroquette as CCBill Ron

LOL! This thread is funny as hell. And Mike.... I won't kick your as this time. I guess I kind-of see the resemblance actually. Depsite the sick name. ;-)

Rand · 02-04-2003, 12:25 PM

Not seein' the resemblance here though 'bro.

kaylacam · 02-04-2003, 12:47 PM

I can TOTALLY see Miss Bunny being played by Nicole Kidman! GREAT choice!

01-26-2003, 05:43 AM	#1
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Movie casting for Porn Documentary I really should cast a movie based on my career in the porn biz. I would cast the following: Me: Brendan Fraser Dman: Woody Harrelson Amber and Rett: Too bad Audrey Hepburn's not around anymore... So we'll go with Jennifer Aniston and Marky Mark (just like rock star) Meir from Date.com: Seinfeld. Duh! Miss Bunny: Nicole Kidman of course! Al from Webpower: the dude that plays Charlie from Charlie's Angels (heard but never seen!) KMan: Jason Leigh or that dude from Van Wilder Seth: Joe Pesce The Porn Star I used to work with: Roseanne Barr or Howard Stern in drag... Dominic from Webpower: John Goodman Rick YNOT: Michael J. Fox Webfather: Richard Belzer RB: Tom Cruise The girls that keep appearing in my dreams: Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, Winona Ryder, and Elle Macpherson My ex girlfriend: that little hottie from Sports Night that was going out with the geek. MAN I loved that show. Ron Jeremy: John Lovitz What a movie that would be! Any more ideas? __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-26-2003, 05:46 AM	#2
pornJester Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 6,138	Tom Cruise could play me __________________ FreshBucks \| Webmaster Vault \| GayAW Trusted Names in Adult. ICQ 9157.3698

01-26-2003, 05:56 AM	#4
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Think DiCaprio. Yeah I could see Gibson as Lens and Connery as Serge. But it would have to be a combination of Connery in Red October and Connery as Indiana Jones' dad. Maybe with the dialog written by a pro wrestler. __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-26-2003, 12:03 PM	#6
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Oh yeah, and I left out Shanaia Twain. I want her in there somewhere. Maybe as my third grade teacher. That would explain a great many things about the way I turned out. Hmmmm... or a lesbian gym teacher. __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-26-2003, 12:07 PM	#7
Tanker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,287	I would be played by ricky schroader LOL __________________ Tanker ICQ 3427575 CCBTools Now featured in the CCBill.com APP STORE

01-26-2003, 06:01 AM	#5
Scootermuze Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 4,513	As fun of a post as this may be.. you could possibly be onto somethin.. probably not with the cast as desired, but someone with a little creativity and follow-through could do somethin with that idea. Perhaps not a box office hit, but, "The Life Of...." , done up right, could make good at some of the film fests.. Ok... more coffee fer me!!

01-26-2003, 12:14 PM	#9
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	..too bad john candy won't be around to play me. __________________ ..and I'm off.

01-26-2003, 12:38 PM	#10
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	HAHAHA Ricky Schroeder. That's good casting. Either that or Spank the Monkey from Son of the Beach. And starring Anthony Michael Hall as Lightspeed! HAHAHA just had a thought, we're like porn's Brat Pack. __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-26-2003, 01:05 PM	#11
Zebra Banned from Kimmy's couch Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Down at Fraggle Rock Posts: 5,091	Anthony Edwards from ER could play me. Bruce Willis could play JoeE. Goldberg could play BT I always thought Yakov Smirnov would make a good Serge. __________________ Old School

01-26-2003, 02:41 PM	#12
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Charlie Sheen could play me, I hear he has a cheerleader fetish too. Steve Lightspeed __________________ Abra-cadabra!

01-26-2003, 02:49 PM	#13
Jizar II Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: LLL© Posts: 1,425	Tom Green should be casted as the famous "AbuckOr2"...

01-26-2003, 02:52 PM	#14
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	The Rock could play me if he buffed up a bit before the film. __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

01-26-2003, 03:15 PM	#15
FreeNetPass Dave Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 270	Lensman played by Cory Feldman. __________________ ICQ: 102858186 FreeNetPass AVS : $15/FREE membership even if the surfer cancels! $17 recurring Premiums! Adult Insider : Webmaster resources, daily news, FREE stuff for posting. PornStarBucks : Jenna Jameson, Briana Banks, Jill Kelly, and now Tera Patrick! Last edited by FreeNetPass Dave; 01-26-2003 at 03:28 PM..

01-26-2003, 04:48 PM	#16
Manny The Freak Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Everywhere. Posts: 1,506	You would play the fat old pervert. __________________

01-26-2003, 06:05 PM	#17
RRRED Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: WA Posts: 6,754	Ricky Schroeder ROFLMAO Nice one, Tanker...

01-29-2003, 06:35 AM	#18
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Yeah, I think Bruce Willis as Joe E and Goldberg as BT would be perfect. Yakov Smirnov as Serge is also perfect. I want to fit Gary Coleman in there somehow. Maybe as Silverstein. HAHAHAHA Emilio Estevez as Epoch Clay The dude that played Pig Vomit from Howard Stern Private Parts as Epoch Rand. Please don't beat me in Jamaica for that I'm kidding... John Larroquette as CCBill Ron Pretty much any Bond girl can play Tanya from Good Thinxxx __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-29-2003, 09:22 AM	#19
LAJ Gingerific Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Austin Posts: 5,567	VirtuMike... are you serious with this shit?? Dude... you suck at casting. __________________ YNOT.com - The original industry resource email jay at ynot dot com or skype LAJConsulting

01-29-2003, 09:31 AM	#20
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Are you kidding me? These are GREAT castings... And playing LAJ we have either Carrot Top or Seth Green. __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L Last edited by VirtuMike; 01-29-2003 at 09:33 AM..

01-29-2003, 09:34 AM	#21
pornJester Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 6,138	I think Kevin Bacon would make a good Lightspeed __________________ FreshBucks \| Webmaster Vault \| GayAW Trusted Names in Adult. ICQ 9157.3698

01-29-2003, 09:39 AM	#22
LAJ Gingerific Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Austin Posts: 5,567	Good choice porn Jester. Virtumike... your head is buried deep within the colon. Alright I'll bite back... Jarod before he discovered Subway could play a damn good Virtumike. __________________ YNOT.com - The original industry resource email jay at ynot dot com or skype LAJConsulting

01-29-2003, 09:52 AM	#23
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	LAJ, I take back taking back that thing I said about your mother. __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-29-2003, 10:01 AM	#24
Brujah Beer Money Baron Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: brujah / gmail Posts: 22,157	That would rock.. someone write the book first though. __________________ Free Premium Domain Lists and Tools at Clickmojo.com For Sale: Obscenity.com

01-29-2003, 10:05 AM	#25
ElvisManson Looking California Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 5,476	Hey Virtu Mike, i think getting an Elvis Impersonator to play you would be better...lol Now where is that damn pic I have of you in a elvis costume...

01-29-2003, 10:08 AM	#26
dacash Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: some where in a basement Posts: 609	You forgot to cast El Nino __________________ ____________ Marc

01-29-2003, 10:10 AM	#27
jreaka Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: California Posts: 1,096	Toodamnfli looks a little like Gary Coleman! Last edited by jreaka; 01-29-2003 at 10:12 AM..

01-29-2003, 10:41 AM	#28
Zebra Banned from Kimmy's couch Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Down at Fraggle Rock Posts: 5,091	Gary Coleman as SixNine! __________________ Old School

01-29-2003, 02:42 PM	#29
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	HAHAHA fucking Gary Coleman on 8 foot stilts as SixNine! Try Minut Bol maybe. That dude is like the tallest webmaster in the game. Whatchoo talkin bout VirtuMike? __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-29-2003, 02:53 PM	#30
Cheshire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Rosen-Villin Posts: 5,738	I'd want to be played by Charo __________________ just a little bit naughty

01-30-2003, 01:26 PM	#31
VirtuMike Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Seat 1A Posts: 2,483	Charo? __________________ Host it in AMSTERDAM at EUROTIVITY! - We also offer BACKUP SERVICES! XYZZY4L

01-30-2003, 01:33 PM	#32
Eric Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: The Helm! Posts: 8,818	I am going to go with Joaquin Phoenix for myself. What do you guys think? Him Me __________________ No One Last edited by Eric; 01-30-2003 at 01:35 PM..

01-30-2003, 01:34 PM	#33
KC Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 1995 Posts: 2,417	Seth would be played by Macaulay Culkin Fantasyman would be played by Joe Pesci Chris aka Pornoman would be played by Brad Pitt __________________ Jupiter Hosting, Inc. Vice President, Business Development kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

01-30-2003, 01:36 PM	#36
haggard Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Hawaii Posts: 469	Ron Jeremy: John Lovitz LOL! that would match so good. __________________ <img src="http://home.hawaii.rr.com/hobble/robman2.jpg"> the bossman cometh...

01-30-2003, 01:38 PM	#39
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	Mike Myers would be the perfect 'lensman in miami in his blue suit' body double... I'd like to see dick van patten playing someone...

01-30-2003, 01:40 PM	#40
kristin GOO! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back Home : ) Posts: 9,768	VirtuMike would be Chief Wiggum <-- that's for not including me on your list!!! __________________ Vacares rules. "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

01-30-2003, 01:51 PM	#42
Brad Mitchell Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Southfield, MI Posts: 9,813	I can't believe you cast yourself as Brendan Frasier... __________________ President at MojoHost \| brad at mojohost dot com \| Skype MojoHostBrad 71 industry awards for hosting and professional excellence since 1999