Who has some good porn stories to tell

[Paul Markham]

http://www.strictly-porn.com/

Is up and working. It will have a large section for other peoples porn stores. Can be funny, scary, shocking sexy or interesting. Also you can use it to put your pics and domain in.

Those who link to me, get a link back.

Even stupid stores will be considered. So Damian, Geezer, Adam, theKing, fuck me the list is too long to include all of the fools.

[Paul Markham]

They can also be fictitious.

That means, made up for those with a lesser command of the English language. Like Americans. LOL

[Jim_Gunn]

A lesser command of the English language like say, a native English speaker who spells "should have" like "should of" and who stubbornly refuses to learn or correct his mistake after it has been pointed out multiple times.

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by Jim_Gunn

A lesser command of the English language like say, a native English speaker who spells "should have" like "should of" and who stubbornly refuses to learn or correct his mistake after it has been pointed out multiple times.

Thank you for the English lesson.

Do you have any amusing stories?

[L-Pink]

A good story always starts ... "So I'm balls deep in this models ass and ................. "


.

[devilspost]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

A good story always starts ... "So I'm balls deep in this models ass and ................. "


.

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

A good story always starts ... "So I'm balls deep in this models ass and ................. "


.

Bit short. Like your dick.

[jimmycooper]

Can I add my Saul Darkham story?

[bronco67]

When I was 16, my mom put my VHS tape marked Three Stooges in the VCR(for what reason, I'll never know). It was filled with Traci Lords scenes. I was obsessed with her at the time and probably shot 2000 loads to that tape. If I knew my mom liked the Three Stooges, I would have never written that on the label.

That's not an industry story, but porn related.

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by bronco67

When I was 16, my mom put my VHS tape marked Three Stooges in the VCR(for what reason, I'll never know). It was filled with Traci Lords scenes. I was obsessed with her at the time and probably shot 2000 loads to that tape. If I knew my mom liked the Three Stooges, I would have never written that on the label.

That's not an industry story, but porn related.

Bit short, mind if I rewrite it and make it longer?

[bronco67]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

Bit short, mind if I rewrite it and make it longer?

haha, I just mentioned that anecdote as a goof -- but I can lengthen it. I'll repost tomorrow.

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by bronco67

haha, I just mentioned that anecdote as a goof -- but I can lengthen it. I'll repost tomorrow.

Thanks, if you want a link, let me have it.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

http://www.strictly-porn.com/

Is up and working.

Which designer did you end up using for the header?

It's pretty retro, I like the way they made it look like an old man with no idea of graphic design AT ALL did it on his own. Proper authentic.

Paul, just because you CAN use a different font for each line, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Really.

Also, why are you pretending your name is Charly? (And that's spelt Charlie, btw).

PS you can take out all the links to WP themes etc.

PPS Did you get permission/pay to use all the photographs you nicked that are on the blog or did you just steal them?

It's sweet you're sharing your first attempt at a blog though.

[jimmycooper]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

Bit short, mind if I rewrite it and make it longer?

The year is 2013 and after expertly navigating himself and his followers through nearly a decade of adult industry turmoil, and backed by the deep pockets of the Romanian mafia, an ex-photographer out of Prague by the name of Saul Darkham has left all challengers in the dust to become the allmighty King of Porn. While doing a jigsaw puzzle at his mansion in Agoura Fucking Hills one evening, he receives a call from a colleague in Bucharest and is told to round up three tall blonde porn stars and to send them to North Korea ASAP because the Dear Leader is feeling frisky.



With the reflex of a mongoose, the still lithe and ever diligent 63 year old Saul is almost immediately able to locate 5?10″ Angelina Armani and 5?10″ newly blonde again Tanya James. While trying to figure out who will be the lucky #3, he remembers that 5?10″ blonde British porn star and current Vivid Girl? Nikki Jayne happens to be in town for a shoot. He initially has a bit of difficulty in getting in touch with the decision makers at Vivid who can let Nikki off the set, so he has his wife Sativa fire up the Lada and drive him down Cahuenga Boulevard as he stands up through the sunroof with a bullhorn until he can make shit happen. We are kings or we are pawns and Saul Darkham is the motherfucking King of Porn.

With only a small amount of time for light packing, a limo proceeds to pick up Nikki, Arianna, and Tanya to take them to LAX so they can board their 12 hour flight to Shanghai. Despite them all still being in a bit of shock because of how quickly everything transpired, the girls are surprisingly upbeat given the uncertainty that lies ahead. After they each have a couple Bloody Marys and a Xanax, the girls get some good sleep on the plane before landing in Shanghai.

The Shanghai airport is full of seemingly happy people, many of whom are wearing Kobe Bryant jerseys. They grab a few Shogun Burgers before making their way to the Air Koryo terminal where they can?t help but notice how the mood around them has quickly changed. While the rest of the airport is bustling with energy, the Air Koryo terminal is full of people who are either hysterically weeping or sitting silently while waiting to board the next flight to Pyongyang. As the plane slowly pulls up to the gate, those who were previously stonefaced begin to cry. Either because they know their fate is now sealed or because they are nervous at seeing the blue letters of ?Pan Am? peeking out from under the chipped paint on the mass of rusted steel that is about to fly them to the always sunny DPRK. With all the aid money the Dear Leader has stolen from his people, and considering his world reknown appetite for Swedish hookers, you?d think the little guy could at least sprung for NetJets®.



After boarding, the girls take their seats and are comforted by the friendly flight attendants. The take off is surprisingly smooth and they are very thankful for having had the Shogun Burgers because the in-flight meal doesn?t look very appetizing. About 15 minutes before the scheduled landing time, they look out the window and are able to see the world famous Ryugyong Hotel in all it?s glory. As was the case with takeoff, the landing was very smooth and the girls give props to the Air Koryo crew for making do with such shoddy equipment. Major props.

After being rushed through customs, the girls are greeted by a driver and a 1980s model light grey Cadillac limousine which many locals consider to be the smoothest ride in all of Pyongyang. Shortly after leaving the airport, they pull onto a long road which is kind of like the Champs-Élysées, only it leads to the Ryugyong Hotel instead of the Arc de Triomphe.



They arrive at the hotel and are greeted by some of the Dear Leader?s helpers. The inside of the building is painfully gaudy like a Trump building on steroids. They are then led to a waiting room. Hanging on the wall are fake autographed photos featuring a photoshopped in Kim Jong Il with 80s action stars Stephen Segal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Dolph Lundgren. It?s just a really bizarre place.



Finally, after nearly 24 hours of anxiety ridden travel, the General, clad in a maroon smoking jacket, ankle high black socks (w/sock garters), and open toed sandles, emerges through the French doors, pours himself some Johnny Walker Blue on the rocks with a splash of Perrier before, with a friendly voice in absolute perfect English, introducing himself to the girls by simply saying???Hi, I?m Kim.?

After a few minutes of typical small talk (Kim is a huge fan of Dancing with the Stars), the Supreme Commander snaps his fingers and says ?I think it?s about time for us to head up to the ?Rambo Room??. Well, OK. I guess the ?Rambo Room? it is the girls think as they get up to follow the funny little man. The hall is long and narrow and, as Kim explains, fitted with synthetic grass so as he can have a place to practice his world class short game whenever he decides that the skies of Pyongyang will see rain.

As they reach the end of the hall, a heavy iron door automatically swings open with a thud. Always the gentleman, the General lifts his hand as if to say ?Ladies First? while the girls pensively peak their heads through the door before entering a room filled with shrub decor so cheap it looked as if it was decorated by 5 year old going through a George Of The Jungle phase. After following the ladies into the baby jungle ?Rambo Room?, the commander and his henchmen walk to the corner of the room and proceed to have an apparently intense conversation in Korean while the girls wait nervously underneath the leaves of a cheap plastic palm tree. After what seems like 10 minutes, but is probably only 30 seconds or so, one of the henchmen walks towards the girls and discreetly explains to them that the Dear Leader occasionally has issues with his little ?Generalissimo? and would prefer to watch them in a cuckold type scene with the two white Rambos who are now just entering the room. The henchmen leave as Kim stands there in the corner wearing only a Rick Springfield shirt and striped boxers as he dims the lights, pours himself another Johnny Walker, watches the show, and lights a firecracker every now and then when he gets excited.

Photographer Richard Avery from Juliland did not receive an invite from the Dear Leader but was still able to magically create realistic looking stills at an abandoned warehouse in Chino after the girls returned home safely.

[L-Pink]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

Bit short. Like your dick.

So I'm balls deep in this models ass and in walks Paul wearing socks with his sandals.


Is this better?

[B.Barnato]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

So I'm balls deep in this models ass and in walks Paul wearing socks with his sandals.


Is this better?

[epitome]

My only story involves a senile old man that doesn't understand he is irrelevant.

Want to hear it?

Ah, fuck it, everybody knows the story.

[Vjo]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

So I'm balls deep in this models ass and in walks Paul wearing socks with his sandals.


Is this better?

Paul, instead of "from the world of shooting porn" maybe you should go with "from the world of porn".

It would allow more stories as every guy has a story but "shooting" narrows it way down.

Then you would get lots of masturbation stories, weird sex, ect. Maybe kind of a Penthouse Forum kind of deal.

But then Charly would have to become Charlie as in Charlie Laine.

[Jim_Gunn]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

Thank you for the English lesson.

Do you have any amusing stories?

I've been a porn director for twenty years, so I have a million amusing stories. How much can you afford? Club International paid me $450 a month for a decade to write monthly movie reviews and even more to do reportage/photography on my own and other productions. What's your budget for content?

[B.Barnato]

[marlboroack]

I was on set once and went to cum and it never came and we were back at square one. Don't know what the fuck happened but i was about to load in her face then.... awww.. wtf? Like i came, but nothing came out and no feeling. The End

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by Vjo

Paul, instead of "from the world of shooting porn" maybe you should go with "from the world of porn".

It would allow more stories as every guy has a story but "shooting" narrows it way down.

Then you would get lots of masturbation stories, weird sex, ect. Maybe kind of a Penthouse Forum kind of deal.

But then Charly would have to become Charlie as in Charlie Laine.

Thanks for the input. will change it.

[Paul Markham]

Jimmy, lovely story. will use it and change the names to a made up one . Like Jimmy Copper. Thanks.

[porno jew]

i have this one it's called "my first english teacher" about a black sock wearing retired pornographer who takes up teaching english to the local students in order to make a few extra zloty and also to test his iron will.

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by DamianJ

Which designer did you end up using for the header?

It's pretty retro, I like the way they made it look like an old man with no idea of graphic design AT ALL did it on his own. Proper authentic.

Paul, just because you CAN use a different font for each line, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Really.

Also, why are you pretending your name is Charly? (And that's spelt Charlie, btw).

PS you can take out all the links to WP themes etc.

PPS Did you get permission/pay to use all the photographs you nicked that are on the blog or did you just steal them?

It's sweet you're sharing your first attempt at a blog though.

Thnk you for your input on design. I shall never be as good as you. http://adultmarketing.co.uk/ http://pornbeer.com/ http://sussexmagician.com/

Might do a story on a Sussex Magician who thinks he's got a clue and very clever. Yet really clueless and dim. And broke.

Something along the lines of earning money as a gay escort or rent boy. Maybe with touches of him secretly wishing he was 15 again and had an older lover. His uncle.

[drmadcat]

no porn story's sorry

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by Jim_Gunn

I've been a porn director for twenty years, so I have a million amusing stories. How much can you afford? Club International paid me $450 a month for a decade to write monthly movie reviews and even more to do reportage/photography on my own and other productions. What's your budget for content?

20 years and you never shot and kept enough for yourself to make your own site.

Club International paid us a LOT more than $450 a month for pictures. You were doing it wrong.

How about a story where you were shooting 2-3 amateurs girls a month, from the girls you were shooting video of. About 20 amateur stills of each. And selling the 20 pic sets for $300 a time non exclusive? It can be fiction so fine.

Just think of what we did as a hint. Except reduce the numbers of sets.

Seriously Jim, you may impress some here. But not people who were selling image content to Club International. You had the contacts, knew the mag and all you had to do was shoot a set to earn $1,000 to $3,000 non exclusive for the set. On your own productions, you shoot a set and sell it to magazines. If you knew the people at Club International you had a gateway to the UK magazines. PRO owned 3 US mags and 7 UK ones.

Yet you tell us you were getting $450 to write stories.

No I will not pay you, it's a blog. You get a link to your paysite.

[Vjo]

Originally Posted by porno jew

i have this one it's called "my first english teacher" about a black sock wearing retired pornographer who takes up teaching english to the local students in order to make a few extra zloty and also to test his iron will.

Funny stuff. I must burn my black socks!

Paul you need the hot female giving advice. I am telling ya. If guys thought they could get advice from a babe it would be a major winner.

Maybe Sally Rand would partner with ya. j/k SR

Ill give ya TWO stories if that happens. I mean if ya get a "hot chick" to comment on the stories. I cant know who is behind the curtain tho.

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by Vjo

Funny stuff. I must burn my black socks!

Paul you need the hot female giving advice. I am telling ya. If guys thought they could get advice from a babe it would be a major winner.

Maybe Sally Rand would partner with ya. j/k SR

Ill give ya TWO stories if that happens. I mean if ya get a "hot chick" to comment on the stories. I cant know who is behind the curtain tho.

It's written from little events in my life and dramatized. The live show happened later after I had done some films.

So making it from a girls POV, isn't going to work. However you have a point when it comes to "Models" stories. I will go put on my stockings and suspenders and get writing.

[anexsia]

Originally Posted by bronco67

When I was 16, my mom put my VHS tape marked Three Stooges in the VCR(for what reason, I'll never know). It was filled with Traci Lords scenes. I was obsessed with her at the time and probably shot 2000 loads to that tape. If I knew my mom liked the Three Stooges, I would have never written that on the label.

That's not an industry story, but porn related.

When I was 8 my friend and I found his uncle's porn magazine stash and we had no idea what it was or could grasp that we were actually looking at porn, so naturally we invited all of our friends including females over to see the cool magazines we had found...we basically exposed all the children in the neighborhood to hardcore porn at an early age.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

Something along the lines of earning money as a gay escort or rent boy. Maybe with touches of him secretly wishing he was 15 again and had an older lover. His uncle.

You'd know all about Uncles wanting to fuck 15 year olds, so you don't need to imagine much. Good luck with it.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

it isn't going to work.

Ain't that the truth.

[anexsia]

Also when I was a little kid and the older kids would talk about vagina I thought it was a hole on a girl that could actually take you to China

[martinsc]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

A good story always starts ... "So I'm balls deep in this models ass and ................. "


.

[paffg]

that header is tough to read

[Vjo]

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

It's written from little events in my life and dramatized. The live show happened later after I had done some films.

So making it from a girls POV, isn't going to work. However you have a point when it comes to "Models" stories. I will go put on my stockings and suspenders and get writing.

Cool. Glad I could be of some help.

Maybe I should start the site (and wait for Penthouses lawyers )

I would need someone to be my babe and of course that has to be a really horny guy.

hmmm who could that be

Holly came from Miami, Fla
hitchhiked her way across the USA

You wont all rat out my new nic will ya?

[Paul Markham]

Hello girls.

My name is Damina, I'm 40ish, live in a rented one bedroom flat in Brighton and single. So now that you know a little about me, I would love to share my story with you all.

I hate it. But when my husband comes home he's so demanding and afterwards I can hardly sit down. My bum is so sore.

[ArsewithClass]

Originally Posted by Vjo

Cool. Glad I could be of some help.

Maybe I should start the site (and wait for Penthouses lawyers )

I would need someone to be my babe and of course that has to be a really horny guy.

hmmm who could that be

Holly came from Miami, Fla
hitchhiked her way across the USA

You wont all rat out my new nic will ya?

I don't know.. lots of guys want to hear stories from the guys point of view, they can get into it & imagine it's them, like POV

[Vjo]

Originally Posted by ArsewithClass

I don't know.. lots of guys want to hear stories from the guys point of view, they can get into it & imagine it's them, like POV

Hey there ya go Story sites have always done well.

I remember sending story traffic to Mojo's site.. was it storycash back in the day.

Damn I miss the days when all kinds of stuff sold well.

I think the prob isnt that stuff doesnt sell it is that there is nothing worth buying. And therein lies kind of a catch 22. Anyhow I regress. Any free site is a good site. And I always like to see people try new stuff. Kudo's Paul.

[lagcam]

Some nice porn stories there Paul, but in my opinion you should use those stories on a porn shooter's memoirs blog (promoting your vintage site) rather than what you are trying to do, which from the headings at the top is I guess telling everybody how to shoot porn again.....

[Vjo]

And I could tell ya some stories.. look up Currently Sober's thread about "have ya ever walked on the wild side". (paraphrased) We had some fun in that thread with some real stories.

I was a crazy, horny fucker in my younger day. Like many of you are now. But ya cant tell that shit till noone cares anymore. lol

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by lagcam

Some nice porn stories there Paul, but in my opinion you should use those stories on a porn shooter's memoirs blog (promoting your vintage site) rather than what you are trying to do, which from the headings at the top is I guess telling everybody how to shoot porn again.....

That's what I thought it was going to be. It could have been brilliant. A GENUINE blog, with GENUINE stories about how it was to shoot porn in the 80s. Peppered with his own pictures, rather than the ones he stole on there now, and obviously all there to drive traffic to his vintage site.

[cherrylula]

good work, hilarious thread

[kane]

Originally Posted by L-Pink

A good story always starts ... "So I'm balls deep in this models ass and ................. "


.

Reminds me a little of Dice Clay. "So I got my tongue up this chick's ass..."

[jimmycooper]

Paul

Here's what you need to do.

Buy Notes of a Dirty Old Man. It's a collection of short stories written by Charles Bukowski.

http://www.amazon.com/Notes-Dirty-Ol.../dp/0872860744

As you're reading it, try to find the likenesses or parallels each of the stories has with your experience shooting porn. Fill in the gaps when necessary and aim for about 2 parts non-fiction and 1 part fiction.

Sounds like fun.

[kane]

Originally Posted by bronco67

When I was 16, my mom put my VHS tape marked Three Stooges in the VCR(for what reason, I'll never know). It was filled with Traci Lords scenes. I was obsessed with her at the time and probably shot 2000 loads to that tape. If I knew my mom liked the Three Stooges, I would have never written that on the label.

That's not an industry story, but porn related.

When I was growing up my neighbor's mom had a couple of porn movies she had taken the labels off of and wrote stuff on them like "work training video #4." Eventually the kids found them and found out what they were.

The family had three kids in it. The oldest daughter was about 5 years older than me (I was 15 at the time) the son was 1 year older than me and the younger daughter was 1 year younger than me.

One afternoon I went over to go swimming in the pool. It was just me and the youngest daughter. She suggested we watch the movie instead. We watched about 10-15 minutes of it then she suggested we go skinny dipping. As we were swimming around in the pool she says to me. " I would stroke you like that girl does in the movie if you want." needless to say I wanted

That was the day I got my first handjob

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by lagcam

Some nice porn stories there Paul, but in my opinion you should use those stories on a porn shooter's memoirs blog (promoting your vintage site) rather than what you are trying to do, which from the headings at the top is I guess telling everybody how to shoot porn again.....

No the "How to shoot porn" will be shifted to another blog.

This is an exercise to cover 40 years of being in or around porn. Astral Blue was started in the 80s. Got lots to tell of before then.

Maybe worth a separate blog.

There's no intention of this to make money as a blog. At the moment it's a base for my Autobiography which is more likely to become a book in 2 versions, soft and hard and 2 editions.

The extra stories is just to give it some bulk and offer others the opportunity to write something, get a link and maybe some traffic. Lots of people are interested in the girls in front of the camera and the guys behind. I will be filling in some of their fantasies.

Originally Posted by jimmycooper

Paul

Here's what you need to do.

Buy Notes of a Dirty Old Man. It's a collection of short stories written by Charles Bukowski.

http://www.amazon.com/Notes-Dirty-Ol.../dp/0872860744

As you're reading it, try to find the likenesses or parallels each of the stories has with your experience shooting porn. Fill in the gaps when necessary and aim for about 2 parts non-fiction and 1 part fiction.

Sounds like fun.

Thank you. Yes had a fun life.

[spazlabz]

it is amazing to me that someone essentially asking others to fill their site with content for free also feels it is appropriate to be insulting to the group of people he is approaching for said content. I have a couple of interesting real life stories related to the business but I would not post them on a public site even if I did it anonymously.

[DamianJ]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

it is amazing to me that someone essentially asking others to fill their site with content for free

And when that fails, he just steals the content. I doubt he paid for those images.

Funny how someone who sells content is happy to steal other's work.

[Paul Markham]

Originally Posted by spazlabz

it is amazing to me that someone essentially asking others to fill their site with content for free also feels it is appropriate to be insulting to the group of people he is approaching for said content. I have a couple of interesting real life stories related to the business but I would not post them on a public site even if I did it anonymously.

I'm not insulting the group, just those insulting me.

It's a place for them to put an advert for free to their site. They can take it or leave it.