Zappos Job listing lol - GoFuckYourself.com

Chris · 09-20-2011, 08:28 AM

Hello future Zappos Software Engineer! Look down at your resume. Now back to this job description. Now back to your resume. Now think about your current job. Sadly, your job doesn't sound like this job and it's not Zappos IP, Inc. But if you applied to this job, it could be.

Look down. Now back up. Where are you? Your team doesn't build, integrate and maintain all the systems to support a 1600-person company including the website, warehouse management, order management, and customer service systems? Well we do. We can do this because along with our ability to speak in a commanding and suave manner, each person on our team has the power to make things happen. Now look down again, you're not on a boat but you are sitting in a chair when you could be on a plane flying to your interview at Zappos for the job your job could be.

Experience and skills needed to do that thing you love at Zappos:

A desire to make work fun and enjoyable (this is first on the list for a reason)
You must eat, sleep, and drink Java (both the programming language and the beverage)
3-5 years experience programming in an open source environment
BS in Computer Science or Engineering (or equivalent combination of education and experience)
Able to turn 2 tickets in a sea shell into diamonds. Ok not really, but if you can that would be awesome!
Have either a most or least-favorite web framework (bonus points if you have written your own MVC framework).
Ability to perform a SQL minus operation without using a sub-select
Ability to understand the above bullet point
Experience with large-scale ERP or eCommerce systems
Experience developing apps with the Zappos API (Just kidding. No but seriously http://developer.zappos.com)
Experience with multiple programming languages (sorry, we don't count VB.net)
Have at least 3 unfinished personal projects scattered around the Internets
Experience with high-volume transactional systems
grep --i 'linux' yourresume.doc | wc --l > 0
Can picture yourself writing algorithms while horseback riding in white linen pants with a button-down tied around your neck
Anything is possible when you work with Zappos IP, Inc. If you love building complex enterprise systems and want the fun and feel of a start-up company, but the solid management and resources of an established business, we are the place for you.

Relocation is available to qualified candidates!

Need more reasons to consider us? In January 2011, Zappos.com, Inc. and its subsidiaries were named #6 on the 2011 Fortune: 100 Best Companies to Work For List. Why else? We offer an extensive benefits package for all full-time employees, including medical, dental, vision, and 401k! And. . . we're hiring like crazy right now, and looking for smart, forward-thinking problem solvers to join our world-class, and fairly wacky team.

Zappos IP, Inc. is an equal opportunity employer and drug free workplace.

I'm on a horse.

Click here to apply

http://austin.craigslist.org/eng/2607178394.html

Yo Adrian · 09-20-2011, 09:28 AM

LOL wtf

..just kidding, no seriously. haha

Wizzo · 09-20-2011, 09:32 AM

Zappos kicks ass!

FlexxAeon · 09-20-2011, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

Experience with multiple programming languages (sorry, we don't count VB.net)
Have at least 3 unfinished personal projects scattered around the Internets

brilliant

Serge Litehead · 09-20-2011, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizzo

Zappos kicks ass!

+1. ordered an item at 9pm, got it next morning at my doorsteps

Joxxy · 09-20-2011, 10:51 AM

Zappos and Tony Hsieh rocks. His book, "Delivering Happiness" is a great read.

Chris · 09-20-2011, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by holograph

+1. ordered an item at 9pm, got it next morning at my doorsteps

indeed i got one of their vip accts aswell and yesterday i placed an order and we didnt get the shipping info so we contacted them this morning and they said they had an issue with sending out tracking codes but our package would be here today ( and it did ) and then they gave us 30$ off our next order :D

fuzebox · 09-20-2011, 11:34 AM

I wanna crash one of their parties!

GrouchyAdmin · 09-20-2011, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

Can picture yourself writing algorithms while horseback riding in white linen pants with a button-down tied around your neck.
http://austin.craigslist.org/eng/2607178394.html

So they are advertising for content..

Klen · 09-20-2011, 01:33 PM

Remind me a bit to old spice commercial.

PornMD · 09-20-2011, 01:36 PM

"Hey, let's use that Old Spice commercial stuff but for ________" is getting tired. It's anti-innovative at this point.

Elli · 09-20-2011, 01:52 PM

heheh that's a good one

Should get some interesting responses.

AzteK · 09-20-2011, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

indeed i got one of their vip accts aswell and yesterday i placed an order and we didnt get the shipping info so we contacted them this morning and they said they had an issue with sending out tracking codes but our package would be here today ( and it did ) and then they gave us 30$ off our next order :D

I don't know how these guys make money with all the stuff they give away, returns and customer service.

_Richard_ · 09-20-2011, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KlenTelaris

Remind me a bit to old spice commercial.

09-20-2011, 08:28 AM	#1
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	Zappos Job listing lol Hello future Zappos Software Engineer! Look down at your resume. Now back to this job description. Now back to your resume. Now think about your current job. Sadly, your job doesn't sound like this job and it's not Zappos IP, Inc. But if you applied to this job, it could be. Look down. Now back up. Where are you? Your team doesn't build, integrate and maintain all the systems to support a 1600-person company including the website, warehouse management, order management, and customer service systems? Well we do. We can do this because along with our ability to speak in a commanding and suave manner, each person on our team has the power to make things happen. Now look down again, you're not on a boat but you are sitting in a chair when you could be on a plane flying to your interview at Zappos for the job your job could be. Experience and skills needed to do that thing you love at Zappos: A desire to make work fun and enjoyable (this is first on the list for a reason) You must eat, sleep, and drink Java (both the programming language and the beverage) 3-5 years experience programming in an open source environment BS in Computer Science or Engineering (or equivalent combination of education and experience) Able to turn 2 tickets in a sea shell into diamonds. Ok not really, but if you can that would be awesome! Have either a most or least-favorite web framework (bonus points if you have written your own MVC framework). Ability to perform a SQL minus operation without using a sub-select Ability to understand the above bullet point Experience with large-scale ERP or eCommerce systems Experience developing apps with the Zappos API (Just kidding. No but seriously http://developer.zappos.com) Experience with multiple programming languages (sorry, we don't count VB.net) Have at least 3 unfinished personal projects scattered around the Internets Experience with high-volume transactional systems grep --i 'linux' yourresume.doc \| wc --l > 0 Can picture yourself writing algorithms while horseback riding in white linen pants with a button-down tied around your neck Anything is possible when you work with Zappos IP, Inc. If you love building complex enterprise systems and want the fun and feel of a start-up company, but the solid management and resources of an established business, we are the place for you. Relocation is available to qualified candidates! Need more reasons to consider us? In January 2011, Zappos.com, Inc. and its subsidiaries were named #6 on the 2011 Fortune: 100 Best Companies to Work For List. Why else? We offer an extensive benefits package for all full-time employees, including medical, dental, vision, and 401k! And. . . we're hiring like crazy right now, and looking for smart, forward-thinking problem solvers to join our world-class, and fairly wacky team. Zappos IP, Inc. is an equal opportunity employer and drug free workplace. I'm on a horse. Click here to apply http://austin.craigslist.org/eng/2607178394.html __________________ [email protected]

09-20-2011, 09:28 AM	#2
Yo Adrian Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 6,326	LOL wtf ..just kidding, no seriously. haha __________________ Adult SEO Partners - Full service Adult SEO Agency serving some of the biggest names in the industry.

09-20-2011, 09:32 AM	#3
Wizzo 2011 GFY Hall of Fame! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Back in Texas! Posts: 15,224	Zappos kicks ass! __________________ Looking for Opportunity!

09-20-2011, 01:36 PM	#11
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	"Hey, let's use that Old Spice commercial stuff but for ________" is getting tired. It's anti-innovative at this point. __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

09-20-2011, 01:52 PM	#12
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	heheh that's a good one Should get some interesting responses. __________________ email: [email protected]

09-20-2011, 10:51 AM	#6
Joxxy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Little Tokyo Posts: 415	Zappos and Tony Hsieh rocks. His book, "Delivering Happiness" is a great read.

09-20-2011, 11:34 AM	#8
fuzebox making it rain Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: seattle Posts: 22,141	I wanna crash one of their parties!

09-20-2011, 01:33 PM	#10
Klen Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Little Vienna Posts: 32,235	Remind me a bit to old spice commercial.