MALE v FEMALE AT THE ATM

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  • sponsorpimp
    Confirmed User
    • Apr 2008
    • 1567

    #1

    MALE v FEMALE AT THE ATM

    You may have seen this one, not sure...



    A new sign in the Bank reads:

    'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

    MALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to the ATM.

    2. LOWER your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Raise window.

    7. Drive off.

    ************************* ******
    FEMALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to ATM machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN .

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it..

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.?

    20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

    25. Redial person on mobile phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

    27. Release Hand Brake.


    * I would like to add - NOT all females are like the above description
    Last edited by sponsorpimp; 07-04-2011, 03:59 AM.
  • u-Bob
    there's no $$$ in porn
    • Jul 2005
    • 33063

    #2
    hehe

    Comment

    • seeandsee
      Check SIG!
      • Mar 2006
      • 50945

      #3
      lol some of those might be really true
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      • martinsc
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Jun 2005
        • 27047

        #4
        hahaha
        that's so mean and so true at the same time
        Make Money

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        • Jon Oso
          Confirmed User
          • Feb 2005
          • 2241

          #5
          that was fucking hilarious... and describes 9/10 of the girls I work with.
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          • DiF0r
            Confirmed User
            • Apr 2007
            • 1516

            #6
            lol so true :D
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            • J. Falcon
              www.AdultCopywriters.com
              • May 2006
              • 31645

              #7
              Pretty funny.
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              • ottopottomouse
                She is ugly, bad luck.
                • Jan 2010
                • 13177

                #8
                Originally posted by sponsorpimp
                26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

                27. Release Hand Brake.
                It's all in the details
                ↑ see post ↑
                13101

                Comment

                • Sid70
                  Downshifter
                  • Dec 2002
                  • 16413

                  #9
                  I sure saw some of that kind.
                  Русня, идите нахуй!

                  Comment

                  • Juicy D. Links
                    So Fucking Banned
                    • Apr 2001
                    • 122992

                    #10

                    Comment

                    • campimp
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jan 2007
                      • 1340

                      #11
                      sadly, with the exception of the purse part, describes me perfectly after a couple bong hits lol

                      Comment

                      • amateurbfs
                        Confirmed User
                        • Jun 2010
                        • 1316

                        #12
                        Even worse than women on the ATM are third worlders.. It's like they are scared to press the buttons.

                        Comment

                        • Shey
                          Confirmed User
                          • Aug 2005
                          • 1654

                          #13
                          Originally posted by amateurbfs
                          Even worse than women on the ATM are third worlders.. It's like they are scared to press the buttons.
                          This is true, actually met a 40 year old guy that had never used an ATM machine in his life. Also for some reason Korean males are unable to use ATMs even when they are in their language, go figure.
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                          • Antonio
                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                            • Oct 2001
                            • 14136

                            #14
                            I knew I had a feminine side - I keep forgetting the handbreak

                            Comment

                            • bronco67
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • Dec 2006
                              • 29032

                              #15
                              Originally posted by sponsorpimp
                              You may have seen this one, not sure...



                              A new sign in the Bank reads:

                              'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

                              Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

                              After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

                              MALE PROCEDURE:

                              1. Drive up to the ATM.

                              2. LOWER your car window.

                              3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

                              4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

                              5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

                              6. Raise window.

                              7. Drive off.

                              ************************* ******
                              FEMALE PROCEDURE:

                              1. Drive up to ATM machine.

                              2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

                              3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

                              4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

                              5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

                              6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

                              7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

                              8. Insert card.

                              9. Re-insert card the right way.

                              10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

                              11. Enter PIN .

                              12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

                              13. Enter amount of cash required.

                              14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

                              15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

                              16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

                              17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it..

                              18. Re-check makeup.

                              19. Drive forward 2 feet.?

                              20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

                              21. Retrieve card.

                              22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

                              23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

                              24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

                              25. Redial person on mobile phone.

                              26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

                              27. Release Hand Brake.


                              * I would like to add - NOT all females are like the above description
                              I think you could trim down the male version a little.

                              Comment

                              • Chosen
                                • Aug 2001
                                • 63151

                                #16

                                Comment

                                • Sly
                                  Let's do some business!
                                  • Sep 2004
                                  • 31376

                                  #17
                                  We need one of these about old people and self checkout registers.
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                                  • RebelR
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Feb 2005
                                    • 1998

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Shey
                                    This is true, actually met a 40 year old guy that had never used an ATM machine in his life. Also for some reason Korean males are unable to use ATMs even when they are in their language, go figure.
                                    They only develop and build the technology not actually use it.
                                    Rich"at"rebel-ads.com
                                    ICQ 644377336 or MSN ruralx"at"hotmail.com

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                                    • NaughtyRob
                                      Two fresh affiliate progs
                                      • Nov 2004
                                      • 29602

                                      #19
                                      Sounds exactly right.
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                                      • Double trouble
                                        So Fucking What?
                                        • Feb 2008
                                        • 22251

                                        #20
                                        so true

                                        Comment

                                        • cooldude7
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Nov 2009
                                          • 4306

                                          #21
                                          this is funny, i have seen the other version of it.

                                          Comment

                                          • Spunky
                                            I need a beer
                                            • Jun 2002
                                            • 133986

                                            #22
                                            They need a separate one because they take so damn long

                                            Comment

                                            • martinsc
                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                              • Jun 2005
                                              • 27047

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by Spunky
                                              They need a separate one because they take so damn long
                                              Make Money

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                                              • RyuLion
                                                • Mar 2003
                                                • 32369

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by NaughtyRob
                                                Sounds exactly right.

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                                                • hollywoodskincompany
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Feb 2011
                                                  • 133

                                                  #25
                                                  Be Aware of the BOOB Flashing ATM Thieves http://www.hollywoodskincompany.com/...g-atm-thieves/
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                                                  • SekobA
                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                    • Oct 2008
                                                    • 12173

                                                    #26
                                                    Ohh i fund myself in Female Procedure

                                                    Comment

                                                    • blackmonsters
                                                      Making PHP work
                                                      • Nov 2002
                                                      • 20961

                                                      #27













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                                                      • $ex
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Mar 2009
                                                        • 116

                                                        #28
                                                        Too funny - And spot on
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                                                        • nikki99
                                                          Supermodel
                                                          • Nov 2004
                                                          • 23087

                                                          #29
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                                                          • gmr324
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Aug 2006
                                                            • 1199

                                                            #30
                                                            funny shit

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                                                            • DamianJ
                                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                              • Jul 2006
                                                              • 15808

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by sponsorpimp
                                                              [B] ATM machine
                                                              Is that like a PIN number?

                                                              Comment

                                                              • Sophie Delancey
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • Jun 2011
                                                                • 1249

                                                                #32
                                                                I've never seen a drive-through ATM in my life. Must not be a city thing. Or a Canadian thing.
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                                                                • AnimeFevers
                                                                  ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ▄ █ ▄ █
                                                                  • Apr 2009
                                                                  • 3566

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Funny but I've seen this before
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