Anyone know any cool Chuck Norris Jokes or Pics!

There aren't any and never was.

qft........

I got nothing

Wanna see these nuts?

chuck norris likes poo... i am he. he is me. poo is cool...

& the joke ?

me...

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

-Chuck Norris once showed up at Google and demanded that they rename their search engine "Chuck Norris." When they refused, Chuck roundhouse kicked Google in the face, transforming it's bruised remains into Google Dark.

-Chuck Norris affects the price of stock quotes and land values. Wherever he is, prices drop due to the danger of a sudden catastrophe. He bought his own home for 30 cents and one roundhouse kick

Chuck Norris edited this post...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris WHO?
Exactly.

Heh heh, sorry, couldn't resist. Here's some "real" Chuck Norris jokes for ya:


Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.

How many Chock Norrises does it take to change a lightbulb? None - Chuck Norris doesn't change lightbulbs sucker, and has therefore been in the dark for years.


(That's just off the top of my head......like how Chuck Norris chooses his film roles. Ba-da Bing!)

I don't...