US politician redefines sex - GoFuckYourself.com

MasterBlow · 04-26-2011, 05:38 AM

There are some things wrong with America, my friends. Bad things. Sexy things. Sexy, but very very bad. In Utah, all of things emanate from the genitals of unmarried people, and if only unmarried people would stop having sex, all of the problems would get better.

But how to stop the infinite march of out of control un legally recognized hormones? Change the definition of sex so that it only applies to married folks, that's how!

A Utah politician wants to formally redefine "sex" as something that occurs between a man and a woman who are married to each other in the Salt Lake County Republican Party platform. According to Examiner,

They also have a delegate who wants it made clear that sex is only acceptable when it takes place between a married man and woman. David Baxter wants the party platform to include that the "God-given sexual power is to be used only between a husband and wife." He believes this will rule out any possibility of adultery, sodomy or fornication.

No adultery! No sodomy! No fornication?! But those are the funnest, David Baxter! Why do you hate fun?

Protest aside, history has shown us that simply redefining what words mean is a great tactic for solving all sorts of problems. You're not "broke" if "broke" only applies to people who used to be millionaires. You're not "boring" if the phrase "boring" only applies to people ten or more years older than you. You're a "patriot" if you think war is awesome, always and 4 ever. And you're not a "zealot" if you're a Utah Republican attempting to inject some fact-free eyeroll fodder into your party platform.

I, for one, am glad they're changing the definition of "sex" to exclude gay and unmarried couples, as "sex" is a terribly boring and clinical word. While they're at it, I'd like to see them push to define "making love" as "sexual contact that occurs during the playing of Kenny G albums."

Source: http://jezebel.com/

Nurgle · 04-26-2011, 05:41 AM

as long as it makes more people turn to porn sounds like a great idea! LOL

19teenporn · 04-26-2011, 06:36 AM

It makes me sick we pay the salaries of congress people like this asshole and so many more..

BlackCrayon · 04-26-2011, 07:04 AM

moron mormons...

Sid70 · 04-26-2011, 07:05 AM

long read. can i fuck it or not? cliff notes, plz.

Barry-xlovecam · 04-26-2011, 08:36 AM

Evolutionary throwback ... Does he walk on his knuckles too?

Sly · 04-26-2011, 08:41 AM

I always wonder if these people have ever experienced good sex.

I mean when you think like this, how good could your sex ever possibly be?

Vendzilla · 04-26-2011, 09:06 AM

it seems Utah has some really good bud growing there

_Richard_ · 04-26-2011, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MasterBlow

I, for one, am glad they're changing the definition of "sex" to exclude gay and unmarried couples, as "sex" is a terribly boring and clinical word. While they're at it, I'd like to see them push to define "making love" as "sexual contact that occurs during the playing of Kenny G albums."

Source: http://jezebel.com/

hahaha awesome

spazlabz · 04-26-2011, 09:35 AM

only married people can do... you know....it?

shit then no one will be having sex!

BettingHandle · 04-26-2011, 12:28 PM

Socks · 04-26-2011, 12:42 PM

Alert! PENIS POLICE! ALERT!

Emma · 04-27-2011, 12:22 AM

Every area has stupid politicians

04-26-2011, 05:38 AM	#1
MasterBlow Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 2,059	US politician redefines sex There are some things wrong with America, my friends. Bad things. Sexy things. Sexy, but very very bad. In Utah, all of things emanate from the genitals of unmarried people, and if only unmarried people would stop having sex, all of the problems would get better. But how to stop the infinite march of out of control un legally recognized hormones? Change the definition of sex so that it only applies to married folks, that's how! A Utah politician wants to formally redefine "sex" as something that occurs between a man and a woman who are married to each other in the Salt Lake County Republican Party platform. According to Examiner, They also have a delegate who wants it made clear that sex is only acceptable when it takes place between a married man and woman. David Baxter wants the party platform to include that the "God-given sexual power is to be used only between a husband and wife." He believes this will rule out any possibility of adultery, sodomy or fornication. No adultery! No sodomy! No fornication?! But those are the funnest, David Baxter! Why do you hate fun? Protest aside, history has shown us that simply redefining what words mean is a great tactic for solving all sorts of problems. You're not "broke" if "broke" only applies to people who used to be millionaires. You're not "boring" if the phrase "boring" only applies to people ten or more years older than you. You're a "patriot" if you think war is awesome, always and 4 ever. And you're not a "zealot" if you're a Utah Republican attempting to inject some fact-free eyeroll fodder into your party platform. I, for one, am glad they're changing the definition of "sex" to exclude gay and unmarried couples, as "sex" is a terribly boring and clinical word. While they're at it, I'd like to see them push to define "making love" as "sexual contact that occurs during the playing of Kenny G albums." Source: http://jezebel.com/ __________________

04-26-2011, 05:41 AM	#2
Nurgle Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Land of OZ Posts: 2,337	as long as it makes more people turn to porn sounds like a great idea! LOL __________________ I am not a megalomaniac.. I just rule the world Need Quality Hardlinks? We have several packages and custom deals available. High Quality Hard Links For Sale ICQ: 394016570

04-26-2011, 07:04 AM	#4
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,631	moron mormons... __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

04-26-2011, 07:05 AM	#5
Sid70 Downshifter Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Road trip Posts: 16,413	long read. can i fuck it or not? cliff notes, plz. __________________ Русня, идите нахуй!

04-26-2011, 08:41 AM	#7
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,323	I always wonder if these people have ever experienced good sex. I mean when you think like this, how good could your sex ever possibly be? __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc. Click here for more details.

04-26-2011, 06:36 AM	#3
19teenporn Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: En la reverendisima concha de tu madre! Posts: 3,034	It makes me sick we pay the salaries of congress people like this asshole and so many more..

04-26-2011, 08:36 AM	#6
Barry-xlovecam It's 42 Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Global Posts: 18,083	Evolutionary throwback ... Does he walk on his knuckles too?

04-26-2011, 09:06 AM	#8
Vendzilla Biker Gnome Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: cell#324 Posts: 23,200	it seems Utah has some really good bud growing there __________________ Webair died? Carbon is not the problem, it makes up 0.041% of our atmosphere , 95% of that is from Volcanos and decomposing plants and stuff. So people in the US are responsible for 13% of the carbon in the atmosphere which 95% is not from Humans, like cars and trucks and stuff and they want to spend trillions to fix it while Solar Panel plants are powered by coal plants think about that

04-26-2011, 09:35 AM	#10
spazlabz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Kentucky Posts: 6,548	only married people can do... you know....it? shit then no one will be having sex!

04-26-2011, 12:28 PM	#11
BettingHandle Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 1,832	__________________

04-26-2011, 12:42 PM	#12
Socks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,475	Alert! PENIS POLICE! ALERT!

04-27-2011, 12:22 AM	#13
Emma Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: England Posts: 2,288	Every area has stupid politicians