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#1

Do people take advantage of you? allow you to pay for them etc

12-13-2010, 08:58 AM

does this happen to you?

ive got some friends that always seemed to leave their wallet somewhere, or damn had no cash on them etc etc.

i used to treat it as an experiment just to see how long they would keep it up, but in the end, i just ended up paying more and more for them

what about other more obvious things?
My wife has a music degree, and loves piano, so she teaches the neighbours kids piano wednesdays for an hour. There was all kinds of big talk about paying. Its small money for sure, but its the principle of the thing. She isnt charging top dollar, they agreed on a low price...and basically they get their kids out of the house for an hour or two. Going on month three and not one mention of being paid, or anything.

the same family, i redid their websites, with help of an overseas worker we have. That actually costs me money to keep him on, no payment...and its adding up big now.

What about beer? neighbours come over, i like to entertain, but if its a regular occurrence should i really be spending money to get them drunk 2-3 times a week? what about the food etc as well...lets not even bring up the cleanup....they come..they eat..they drink...and then get up and leave like they were at a bar..lol

am i a sucker?
or is it normal for these things to happen in friendships?

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#2

12-13-2010, 09:00 AM

Its the way of the world these days. Everyone is out for themselves.

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#3

12-13-2010, 09:02 AM

wanna come over? get some food and few 6packs on the way, i'm all out, heheh

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#4

12-13-2010, 09:02 AM

you are a sucker. seems like people are walking over you in every aspect of your life.
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#5

12-13-2010, 09:03 AM

I'll be over later tonite for my drunkfest and piano lessons Brad! Can you spring for cab fare home as well? LOL!
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#6

12-13-2010, 09:05 AM

i bought beer and food last time. now its your turn.

if they are looking to take an advantage they will get off your back quickly with fair treatment

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#7

12-13-2010, 09:06 AM

lol, my dad had that happening to him so eventually he converted a pop fridge to sell beer cans for $2 for guests that always showed up for a free 6er.

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#8

12-13-2010, 09:06 AM

its always harder with friends or neighbors to get them to pay, but usually around this time of year, it seems people are more happy to give a few bucks... at least that I've seen.

However, I have the same types of friends who will "forget their wallet" or "accidentally loose their ATM card." The worst is the ones that come over to your house and drink all your booze and eat food but never contribute a dime.

I have a friend that I just got into a (drunken) argument about this about 2 weeks ago. He comes over every few weeks and rarely brings anything but himself and a few bucks. We went to the store to get stuff to make for dinner, there was 5 of us total, but he picked out half the snacks and needed a few items for himself.

When it came time to pay he just stood there. I looked at him and said "you going to get this? ill give you cash since some of this is yours plus I paid for your dinner last night." He froze and said "oh uhhh, I dont have enough cash and I can't use my credit card." It was a bit awkward for a minute, but I made him go to the ATM at the store.

Later that night while we were all out, he would also jump in when it was someone else buying drinks, but he would disappear when it was his turn until I finally had to argue with him to pay.

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Phoenix

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#9

12-13-2010, 09:07 AM

Originally posted by Agent 488

you are a sucker. seems like people are walking over you in every aspect of your life.

this is what im thinking about.

for the most part i dont care...its part of living well, being able to share your good fortune

but the part other then most, is really starting to bug the fuck out of me..lol

the other night, we had people over...and we were in the basement drinking, after the movie was over, the one couple got up...stepped over the beer bottles they put on my floor, and went up the stairs.

i believe the husband said something like...oh we can get that tomorrow...lol

what a fuckin asshat

i think the times of happy go lucky me are over

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#10

12-13-2010, 09:09 AM

Originally posted by GTS Mark

I'll be over later tonite for my drunkfest and piano lessons Brad! Can you spring for cab fare home as well? LOL!

yes i can....but i need that TB drive

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Phoenix

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#11

12-13-2010, 09:11 AM

Originally posted by magicmike

lol, my dad had that happening to him so eventually he converted a pop fridge to sell beer cans for $2 for guests that always showed up for a free 6er.

lol..i have seen a few of those actually

not a bad idea

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Sly

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#12

12-13-2010, 09:39 AM

If you are always paying and cleaning up after your friends, you aren't really friends. Some will argue, but really, it's that simple. Stop paying and make them start cleaning up... see how often they come over. You'll probably never see them again.

There are friends. There are leeches. You are describing leeches. They will only suck you dry.

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#13

12-13-2010, 09:40 AM

sounds like you need some boundaries
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#14

12-13-2010, 09:49 AM

dude, fuck that shit. it has to be a two way street, or fuck them, they are not friends.

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#15

12-13-2010, 09:51 AM

Originally posted by magicmike

lol, my dad had that happening to him so eventually he converted a pop fridge to sell beer cans for $2 for guests that always showed up for a free 6er.

shit i almost forgot about that one... hehe the converted pay pool table was just as funny

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#16

12-13-2010, 10:03 AM

I think it's bad when debts become bad uncollectible debts. Some debt collectors have a problem with these people. A lot of the time, interest must be paid, also.

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#17

12-13-2010, 10:06 AM

Originally posted by fatfoo

I think it's bad when debts become bad uncollectible debts. Some debt collectors have a problem with these people. A lot of the time, interest must be paid, also.

Great idea. Phoenix, start charging interest and send your guests to collections.

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#18

12-13-2010, 10:07 AM

Originally posted by quiet

dude, fuck that shit. it has to be a two way street, or fuck them, they are not friends.

exactly.
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#19

12-13-2010, 10:13 AM

Wife is the coordinator for local athletic league for the grade school kids. One her duties is collecting money from the parents (sports is fucking expensive!). One of our friends never does anything on time, which includes paying. By the end of the season they still owed the league $200. They never completely paid the prior year either. Next year their kids won't be able to play until they pay in full. Fuck 'em.

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#20

12-13-2010, 10:22 AM

that'll show em
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#21

12-13-2010, 10:35 AM

I experience this everyday and for a while I was ok with it, then I got fed up and simply cut of all these freebie moochers, since then they don't call or come and some even went to the lenghts of turning their head on the street just so they don't have to say hi. Its all about money, jelousy is a bitch and some people.. errr most are quite ignorant and don't care about anyone just themselves.

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#22

12-13-2010, 10:53 AM

I had this happen to me the other night.. My friend was ALWAYS broke and never really ditched out on paying but never offered or made it available option. Like he would suggest to order pizza and not order it untill you did and while saying its a great idea if you did....but he would never choose topping because well HES NOT BUYING but will eat anything you order....or if you were buying beer we would always ask you to pick you up something. This lasted 6 years and it was only once a month so it wasnt that big of a deal.. to me the cost of having friends I guess.

He offered to take me out for drinks and of course the bill got out of control since I wanted to make up for 6 years of him not paying once.. He called me the next day saying the bill was 240$ and wasnt sure if he was going to make it till payday..I felt guilty and offered me 100$ in jest as a joke... he didnt take it as a joke.. ;;;;; he hunted me down like a escaped criminal i gave him 20$ and reminded him of xbox i got him for xmas, two concerts, endless cabs, baseball tickets, random household items from extra computer equipment to pots and pans. I did a mock list of shit I wanted to be paid back for and it was well over 2k.... he was still mad didnt talk to me for a month...

I allowed it to happen I just hate why people have to be like that. Im naive and allowed it to happen. Lesson learnt.. well not quite

I went over to his house and of course he doesn;t have wireless so I have a few extra wireless routers at home so I said he could have one so I can work when im over and now he can enjoy wireless.

He's like thanks and then Im like hey can you set up my network he;s like sure Derek 40$.. Im like I just gave you a wireless router and ethernet cable. I hate friends that charge friends for services within reason of course..

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#23

12-13-2010, 10:54 AM

If you don't say anything to them about how you feel they are taking the piss it will continue forever.

Some people that genuinely can't afford stuff I don't mind paying for but I know several people with really bad gambling habits that I won't waste a penny on.

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#24

12-13-2010, 10:55 AM

Originally posted by Dwreck

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#25

12-13-2010, 10:56 AM

Originally posted by Dwreck

I had this happen to me the other night.. My friend was ALWAYS broke and never really ditched out on paying but never offered or made it available option. Like he would suggest to order pizza and not order it untill you did and while saying its a great idea if you did....but he would never choose topping because well HES NOT BUYING but will eat anything you order....or if you were buying beer we would always ask you to pick you up something. This lasted 6 years and it was only once a month so it wasnt that big of a deal.. to me the cost of having friends I guess.

He offered to take me out for drinks and of course the bill got out of control since I wanted to make up for 6 years of him not paying once.. He called me the next day saying the bill was 240$ and wasnt sure if he was going to make it till payday..I felt guilty and offered me 100$ in jest as a joke... he didnt take it as a joke.. ;;;;; he hunted me down like a escaped criminal i gave him 20$ and reminded him of xbox i got him for xmas, two concerts, endless cabs, baseball tickets, random household items from extra computer equipment to pots and pans. I did a mock list of shit I wanted to be paid back for and it was well over 2k.... he was still mad didnt talk to me for a month...

I allowed it to happen I just hate why people have to be like that. Im naive and allowed it to happen. Lesson learnt.. well not quite

I went over to his house and of course he doesn;t have wireless so I have a few extra wireless routers at home so I said he could have one so I can work when im over and now he can enjoy wireless.

He's like thanks and then Im like hey can you set up my network he;s like sure Derek 40$.. Im like I just gave you a wireless router and ethernet cable. I hate friends that charge friends for services within reason of course..

that is huge balls...you just gave him a wireless router..and he wanted money from you to setup the network?

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#26

12-13-2010, 11:20 AM

I don't have any poor friends... The relationship never works out in the end.
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#27

12-13-2010, 11:51 AM

People only take advantage of you if you let them
For the beer moochers I go to the local distributor and buy A keg of expired natural light for their asses

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#28

12-13-2010, 12:06 PM

Originally posted by Sly

If you are always paying and cleaning up after your friends, you aren't really friends. Some will argue, but really, it's that simple. Stop paying and make them start cleaning up... see how often they come over. You'll probably never see them again.

There are friends. There are leeches. You are describing leeches. They will only suck you dry.

BINGO!! Give that man a cookie.

It's really easy to tell friends from people that you are simply neighbors with, and you've known that for some time, you just haven't admitted it to yourself. I have friends that truly don't have any money, and I know that, so I don't expect anything from them, but at the same time they always offer to do something in replacement, from helping with cleaning up, or whatever. They find ways to contribute. These people are not doing that over a long period, therefore they don't care, therefore they are not friends. Stop inviting them over.

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#29

12-13-2010, 12:11 PM

people can only take advantage if you allow them to

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#30

12-13-2010, 12:15 PM

easiest cure, stay inside and interact with no one

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#31

12-13-2010, 12:31 PM

Time to poison the koolaid.

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#32

12-13-2010, 01:17 PM

Don't worry, you're moving soon!
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#33

12-13-2010, 01:26 PM

Yeap, it has to be a two way street man.

Are they young? if they're young peeps, then they have no idea how to be curious and return the favor, or their parents never thought them to be fair in life.

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#34

12-13-2010, 01:33 PM

Originally posted by fuzebox

I don't have any poor friends... The relationship never works out in the end.

True, and I agree. The only poor friends I have that I entertain now and then, are either girls that I can violate or guys that are pretty handy and will help me with random jobs when I need it (free of course).
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#35

12-13-2010, 01:41 PM

Originally posted by Phoenix

My wife has a music degree, and loves piano, so she teaches the neighbours kids piano wednesdays for an hour. There was all kinds of big talk about paying. Its small money for sure, but its the principle of the thing. She isnt charging top dollar, they agreed on a low price...and basically they get their kids out of the house for an hour or two. Going on month three and not one mention of being paid, or anything.

The next time they come over for lessons...SLAM goes the piano cover!
Broken hands send an immediate message, they'll pay one way or another.

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#36

12-13-2010, 03:05 PM

Happened to me, too and it's not the actual price for a drink or food, but it's the fucking gesture... Shows disrespect.

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Phoenix

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#37

12-13-2010, 03:41 PM

Originally posted by fuzebox

I don't have any poor friends... The relationship never works out in the end.

you know it could be something like that

outside of industry friends most of the others dont have much in the way of disposable income

oh well...ive always got tanker and ellisa...they usually drive during snowboarding trips

ill try to mooch off em to balance things out with the others..lol

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#38

12-13-2010, 03:49 PM

you sound like a sucker tbh to keep letting it happen.
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#39

12-13-2010, 04:04 PM

Originally posted by wdsguy

you sound like a sucker tbh to keep letting it happen.

maybe you are right

the last straw was them stepping over beer bottles they had put on my floor

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#40

12-13-2010, 04:05 PM

yes and i recently realized who was doing it and noticed only time i get a call from them is when they want something

ive stopped taking their calls

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#41

12-13-2010, 04:32 PM

wasn't there a thread where you stiffed someone for small amount?

glass houses.

Originally posted by Dwreck

I had this happen to me the other night.. My friend was ALWAYS broke and never really ditched out on paying but never offered or made it available option. Like he would suggest to order pizza and not order it untill you did and while saying its a great idea if you did....but he would never choose topping because well HES NOT BUYING but will eat anything you order....or if you were buying beer we would always ask you to pick you up something. This lasted 6 years and it was only once a month so it wasnt that big of a deal.. to me the cost of having friends I guess.

He offered to take me out for drinks and of course the bill got out of control since I wanted to make up for 6 years of him not paying once.. He called me the next day saying the bill was 240$ and wasnt sure if he was going to make it till payday..I felt guilty and offered me 100$ in jest as a joke... he didnt take it as a joke.. ;;;;; he hunted me down like a escaped criminal i gave him 20$ and reminded him of xbox i got him for xmas, two concerts, endless cabs, baseball tickets, random household items from extra computer equipment to pots and pans. I did a mock list of shit I wanted to be paid back for and it was well over 2k.... he was still mad didnt talk to me for a month...

I allowed it to happen I just hate why people have to be like that. Im naive and allowed it to happen. Lesson learnt.. well not quite

I went over to his house and of course he doesn;t have wireless so I have a few extra wireless routers at home so I said he could have one so I can work when im over and now he can enjoy wireless.

He's like thanks and then Im like hey can you set up my network he;s like sure Derek 40$.. Im like I just gave you a wireless router and ethernet cable. I hate friends that charge friends for services within reason of course..
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