Man Kills Imaginary Friend, Turns Self In, Takes World's Saddest Mug Shot

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  • Grapesoda
    So Fucking Banned
    • Jul 2003
    • 46234

    #1

    Man Kills Imaginary Friend, Turns Self In, Takes World's Saddest Mug Shot

    time to lighten shit up a bit around here....


    Here you have another reason why drugs are bad, kids: you end up killing your imaginary friend and then demand the death penalty, which is exactly what one Florida man did.



    Geoff Gaylord walked into a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and confessed to his crime: he had repeatedly stabbed his friend "Mr. Happy" with a kitchen knife, cut up Mr. Happy with a hatchet, and buried him in his backyard. Let me remind you again that this occurred in Florida, so perhaps it should come as a surprise to no one.

    Gaylord and Mr. Happy were friends for seven years but, according to Gaylord, he killed him for a few reasons:

    "He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF...We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal ? listened to it for hours with the lights turned off."

    When Mr. Happy crashed Gaylord's car, and Gaylord got arrested instead, Gaylord had had enough.

    "That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him."

    Gaylord was eventually taken into custody when he threatened police for not giving him the death penalty. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun in Gaylord's house, and was booked on multiple charges.

    So much for the BFF bracelets these two exchanged.

    Man Kills Imaginary Friend, Turns Self In, Takes World's Saddest Mug Shot - Mandatory
  • crockett
    in a van by the river
    • May 2003
    • 76818

    #2
    If it sounds too good to be true... Story seems just a bit way too fluffy to be real..
    In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator.

    Comment

    • SBJ
      So Fucking Fabulous
      • Apr 2003
      • 11377

      #3
      Mr Happy? Maybe he's been listening to too much ICP

      Comment

      • ~Ray
        visit hardlinks.org
        • Jun 2003
        • 18361

        #4
        fishy story smells fishy
        Adult Backlinks for Adult Websites - Testimonials Available

        Comment

        • MassMarketing
          TPMN
          • Jun 2014
          • 589

          #5
          Poor guy. But at least he turned himself in
          Weekly Payments - 1400+ BizOp, Financial, Sweeps, Nutra Offers and More!
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          • SilentKnight
            Megan Fox's fluffer
            • Oct 2005
            • 24812

            #6
            Imaginary friends are teeple, poo.

            Comment

            • onwebcam
              Fake Nick 1.0
              • Oct 2005
              • 27689

              #7
              Editor's Note: So apparently this story comes from a phony site. Oh well. Even the smartest people in the world (read: Mandatory editors) get fooled every now and then. Enjoy the story anyway.
              PLEASE WAIT WHILE BIDEN ADMIN UNINSTALLS ITSELF.....
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              Comment

              • L-Pink
                working on my tan
                • Mar 2005
                • 39151

                #8
                Originally posted by onwebcam
                Editor's Note: So apparently this story comes from a phony site. Oh well. Even the smartest people in the world (read: Mandatory editors) get fooled every now and then. Enjoy the story anyway.

                It did say it happened in Florida so what's not to believe.

                Comment

                • brassmonkey
                  Pay It Forward
                  • Sep 2005
                  • 77395

                  #9
                  keep your head up till the trial is over.
                  TRUMP 2026 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law!
                  DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

                  Comment

                  • EngineCash
                    Confirmed User
                    • Aug 2006
                    • 2816

                    #10
                    Drug can do various thing to your body and especially mind...



                    support(@)enginecash.com

                    Comment

                    • blackmonsters
                      Making PHP work
                      • Nov 2002
                      • 21125

                      #11
                      Originally posted by brassmonkey
                      keep your head up till the trial is over.
                      It's Florida, nobody gets convicted there.
                      Good luck.



                      Comment

                      • CurrentlySober
                        Too lazy to wipe my ass
                        • Aug 2002
                        • 39051

                        #12
                        Tee Hee

                        Its funny coz his name is 'Gaylord'...
                        ️ ️

                        Comment

                        • Grapesoda
                          So Fucking Banned
                          • Jul 2003
                          • 46234

                          #13
                          Originally posted by onwebcam
                          Editor's Note: So apparently this story comes from a phony site. Oh well. Even the smartest people in the world (read: Mandatory editors) get fooled every now and then. Enjoy the story anyway.
                          exactly

                          Comment

                          • epitome
                            So Fucking Lame
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 12156

                            #14
                            Originally posted by onwebcam
                            Editor's Note: So apparently this story comes from a phony site. Oh well. Even the smartest people in the world (read: Mandatory editors) get fooled every now and then. Enjoy the story anyway.
                            GrapeSoda believing fake news? That is unprecedented. Let me mark this on the calendar.

                            Comment

                            • Tom_PM
                              Porn Meister
                              • Feb 2005
                              • 16443

                              #15
                              The one time someone could legitimately come in and say "dindu nuffin" and... crickets.
                              43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

                              Comment

                              • rhon23
                                Rebel Girl
                                • Jun 2003
                                • 3277

                                #16
                                A Florida man..

                                Comment

                                • SilentKnight
                                  Megan Fox's fluffer
                                  • Oct 2005
                                  • 24812

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Tom_PM
                                  The one time someone could legitimately come in and say "dindu nuffin" and... crickets.

                                  Comment

                                  • MiamiBoyz
                                    fgfdftre6
                                    • Oct 2012
                                    • 6688

                                    #18
                                    As usual the liberal media totally got it wrong...

                                    That ugly ass motherfucker killed MY imaginary friend!

                                    Ugly faggot did it while we were doing the nasty too...no respect at all.

                                    Hope they fry his ass...me so lonely now.

                                    Comment

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