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This list is to be used as an information source for combating hippies wherever they may lurk. Adopt tactics that fit the situation at hand. The following DEFCON table will aid you in specifying tactics for certain hippie-encounters

SOAP ON A ROPE: This may be used as a low-level means of warding off longhairs as they will keep a good distance from your charm.
DEFCON 5

TICKS: Ticks are a hippie's worst enemy. Obtain a box of ticks and sprinkle themt at will upon passing hippies. The bugs will love the bountiful playgrounds upon the hippies' heads.
DEFCON 5, 4

BLACK SPRAY PAINT: Attacks with black or any metallic colored spray paint will surely humiliate the longhair among his/her peers. WARNING: Use of any other color will conversely enhance the hippie's social standing.
DEFCON 5, 4

SCISSORS: Sneaking up and cutting off dreadlocks on an unsuspecting hippie will likely result in cardiac arrest when the target becomes aware of what has transpired.
DEFCON 5

D.E.A. JACKETS: Hippies, as abusers of chemical substances are always in constant fear of being caught by police agencies ("the fuzz"). Wearing a Drug Enforcement Agency jacket about will not only ward off hippies, but scare them away as they are forced to eat their illicit drugs.
DEFCON 5, 4, 3

HOBOS: Hippies, despite their distasteful appearance, are typically nothing more than rich white kids. As such, they greatly fear contact with the poor and down-trodden. This tactic works in close quarters as the similarity in smells between the hippie and the hobo will lead the longhair to believe a brother hippie is near until it is too late.
DEFCON 5, 4, 3

TEAR GAS: Often used in the past against threatening masses of hippies, tear gas will scatter those who are not too doped up to notice.
DEFCON 3, 2

HEAD SHOP SHIT ATTACK: Fill a large padded envelope with watered-down fecal matter and insert under door of a locked head shop or hippie cafe. Jump on top of envelope to spray its contents inside.
DEFCON 3

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