After our grueling leg day (night), I headed down to the local Outback with my training partner, Lex. A few steaks, mounds of potatoes, cold beer, and laughs were on the agenda for the evening. Getting pussy was not, but when you are THE alpha male, it's always a possibility.
So after the meal, and taking a huge dump in the men's room, we are paying the bill when Lex motions over to the bar. Couldn't believe what I saw. Four hotties laughing it up with a couple of college frat boys. I took off my aviators to get a better look at the guys.
Me: <squinting> Yep, just as I suspected, looks to be 13, maybe 14 inch biceps?
Lex: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: <grinning> Lets do it.
Me and Lex do the lat flare walk over to the bar area, sleeves rolled up on our 18 and 17.5 inch pythons, taking a seat nearby the aforementioned crew. I took out of my pocket my "trick money"; $100 dollar bills on each end, with about 25 singles in the middle. One of the girls saw this and flocked (If muscles are #1 on women's wish list, money is number 2 on their sleazy gold digging agenda).
Girl1: Hey baby! You gonna buy me a drink?
Me: <pulling down my aviators a bit> F**k would I do that? Do I look like your boyfriend or something?
Girl1: What's your problem? Figured your cheap ass could spare a drink with all that cash you're carrying.
Me: <condescendingly> Well apparently that's not the case, Shirley Temple. (She was wearing a Temple University sweatshirt) Run along to your skinny frat friends. You aint getting none of this (I flash the wad of cash) and you aint getting none of this (flashes 18 inch python)
<She runs back to her friends. Lex knows what's going on and gives me a wink. Not two minutes later, the whole group returns.>
Frat Boy: I'll be buying all you ladies a drink tonight, cuz I'm a nice guy.
Me: <takes a shot of tequila> More like an AFC if you ask me, chump.
Girls: What's an AFC?
Me: You wanna know what an AFC is? Follow me girls. <Me and Lex walk out the door, not looking back but knowing they will follow>
We take them across the street to an internet cafe. I try to log onto bodybuilding.com but its not working (apparently you have to PAY to use the internet at these cafes? I usually wouldnt be caught dead at one of those places. The depressed emo loser thing doesnt get you hot pussy)
Me: Give me $5 so I can use this piece of s**t
Girl3: You have $2500 in your pocket, why cant you pay for it?
Me: I'm out of here. I cant deal with--
<All of a sudden girl 4 takes a 5 dollar bill out and i put it in the computer. I log onto the Sauce Head sticky>
Me: <grinning> Read up, ladies.
The next few minutes, I hear the girls excitedly screaming "Oh my GOD, those frat guys WERE AFC's! And you guys are Alpha Male PUA's!". I grin at lex, knowing that we would be getting laid tonight. The girls read for about ten more minutes (even putting in 5 dollars to read more) before we all head back to the Outback.
Frat Guy 2: So about that beer?
<Sorority Girl 2 takes the beer he was drinking and pours it over his head.>
SG2: Get lost, you f**king AFC's!
FG2: What the f**K?
SG3: <rubbing my chest> yeah, we found some alpha males. Go back to the frat house and jerk off!
<With that, they leave, my grinning face the last thing they see. Me and lex piled the girls into my BMW and head over to their sorority house.>
That night, I was pleasured for hours by two sorority girls: a cute lil asian and her blonde friend, while Lex had the other two. Lex wakes me up at 7AM, telling me I need to drop him off at home so he can to to work. I walk out the door, sunlight streaming in from the morning sky.
"Wait!" one of the girls screams as I walk out. "are you ever coming back?"
<I sling my jacket over my shoulders and strap my aviators on>
"My mama said to never break promises I cant keep". Me and Lex lat flared back to my beamer and sped away from the house, never to return.
So after the meal, and taking a huge dump in the men's room, we are paying the bill when Lex motions over to the bar. Couldn't believe what I saw. Four hotties laughing it up with a couple of college frat boys. I took off my aviators to get a better look at the guys.
Me: <squinting> Yep, just as I suspected, looks to be 13, maybe 14 inch biceps?
Lex: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: <grinning> Lets do it.
Me and Lex do the lat flare walk over to the bar area, sleeves rolled up on our 18 and 17.5 inch pythons, taking a seat nearby the aforementioned crew. I took out of my pocket my "trick money"; $100 dollar bills on each end, with about 25 singles in the middle. One of the girls saw this and flocked (If muscles are #1 on women's wish list, money is number 2 on their sleazy gold digging agenda).
Girl1: Hey baby! You gonna buy me a drink?
Me: <pulling down my aviators a bit> F**k would I do that? Do I look like your boyfriend or something?
Girl1: What's your problem? Figured your cheap ass could spare a drink with all that cash you're carrying.
Me: <condescendingly> Well apparently that's not the case, Shirley Temple. (She was wearing a Temple University sweatshirt) Run along to your skinny frat friends. You aint getting none of this (I flash the wad of cash) and you aint getting none of this (flashes 18 inch python)
<She runs back to her friends. Lex knows what's going on and gives me a wink. Not two minutes later, the whole group returns.>
Frat Boy: I'll be buying all you ladies a drink tonight, cuz I'm a nice guy.
Me: <takes a shot of tequila> More like an AFC if you ask me, chump.
Girls: What's an AFC?
Me: You wanna know what an AFC is? Follow me girls. <Me and Lex walk out the door, not looking back but knowing they will follow>
We take them across the street to an internet cafe. I try to log onto bodybuilding.com but its not working (apparently you have to PAY to use the internet at these cafes? I usually wouldnt be caught dead at one of those places. The depressed emo loser thing doesnt get you hot pussy)
Me: Give me $5 so I can use this piece of s**t
Girl3: You have $2500 in your pocket, why cant you pay for it?
Me: I'm out of here. I cant deal with--
<All of a sudden girl 4 takes a 5 dollar bill out and i put it in the computer. I log onto the Sauce Head sticky>
Me: <grinning> Read up, ladies.
The next few minutes, I hear the girls excitedly screaming "Oh my GOD, those frat guys WERE AFC's! And you guys are Alpha Male PUA's!". I grin at lex, knowing that we would be getting laid tonight. The girls read for about ten more minutes (even putting in 5 dollars to read more) before we all head back to the Outback.
Frat Guy 2: So about that beer?
<Sorority Girl 2 takes the beer he was drinking and pours it over his head.>
SG2: Get lost, you f**king AFC's!
FG2: What the f**K?
SG3: <rubbing my chest> yeah, we found some alpha males. Go back to the frat house and jerk off!
<With that, they leave, my grinning face the last thing they see. Me and lex piled the girls into my BMW and head over to their sorority house.>
That night, I was pleasured for hours by two sorority girls: a cute lil asian and her blonde friend, while Lex had the other two. Lex wakes me up at 7AM, telling me I need to drop him off at home so he can to to work. I walk out the door, sunlight streaming in from the morning sky.
"Wait!" one of the girls screams as I walk out. "are you ever coming back?"
<I sling my jacket over my shoulders and strap my aviators on>
"My mama said to never break promises I cant keep". Me and Lex lat flared back to my beamer and sped away from the house, never to return.
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