**Tuesday Night Dungeons & Dragons At Mobbucks Office(D&D)**

50 poker games

51 D&D geeks and still counting.

WTF? I need a nat 20 to HIT?!

Holy crap. Lots of post graduation virgins checkign in!

I'll have you know I lost it junior year even though I played D&D. And it wasn't even to my first cousin!

Lightning BOLT!!!

Cleric, huh? Those girls were the sluttiest.

Pimp... I'd love to head down there and play

<former neighborhood DM slips on his Drow cloak of invisibility and lurks in this thread>

will there be hookers?

<current neighborhood DM farts in your general direction, causing a violent gust of wind, which in turn brings the trolls from their homes, sniffing in appreciation of the sudden stench>

Yeah, but they're called wenches.

Fighter-Mage was the best character

Someone said that there was Dwarf tossing going on in here?

I don't know. I have one helluva Elven Rogue-Thief. Shit just kinda finds its way into my pockets...I have no idea how it got there...

Gimli just left.

if not then stripers?

<scoreman casts Bigbys Crushing Hand and proceeds to cop a feel of Tala. Trolls, recognizing potential for voyeurism, depart the home of boobs and camp at Tala's window>

Fred you coming? the office is right on 110

<Tala rolls Dodge with a Dex mod of +2 and ends up with a final tally of 19, effectively maneuvering away from scoreman. Trolls, being fooled by the possibility of voyeurism now denied, turn into an angry mob>

Scoreman i love your sites man , I am a HUGE big boobie lover

Roll me a spot check to see if you see the big tit ambush heading your way! To think that I have my "I planned, I came, I DMed... then I killed the whole party" shirt on today. LOL

What's the modifier?

thanks Juicy!

<Scoreman, seeing that current DM appears to be a sizable match despite her deceptively small size offers a gift of a bag of infinite wealth (whoops its actually a stupid bag of tricks) to Tala and calls truce. While her attention is diverted he then casts plane shift and transports him and 6 other DDD all natural wenches back to Scoreland>

<DM, wondering how blind scoreman is, (considering that the DM is built like a dwarf, but stands 5'9"), deigns to touch the bag, having been burned by magical bags before. Instead, She takes the truce as it is and watches as he casts his spell, noting with amusement that the 6 DDD all natural wenches that follow are trolls attracted to scoreman's rapier wit and cloak.>

Only the DM knows the modifier... you just roll!

Note to Collin: Not all D&D players are computer geeks

<Scoreman, back at in the safety of the Scoreland dungeon, curses the 6 beastly big titted trolls but then stops when he ponders the value of www.bigtittrolls.com. Smiles all around when it is learned all the trolls will do gonzo style DP for cheap. Current big tit gals at Scoreland immediately begin grousing about this uncomfortable outsourcing from Tala's Dungeon>

Why? What other kind of geeks are there?

Strangely enough, I usually check to see what the INT modifier is for the person rolling the spot check, and whether or not they have that skill.

Roll without your mods: 9.


Can't see shit, Captain.

<Hey bucksnort, they didn't come from MY dungeon-I do have a little class. But I have some elves and a couple of orcs if you're interested...>

Wouldn't Bigby's Feeling Fingers been a more appropriate spell?

mmmmm elven big tit lasses.

now there's a niche that would sell.

ill take on a pass on the orcish sweater meat. These trolls have their IDs in order and work too cheap to change up now....

Such a shame. www.bigtitorcs.com would be a great seller.

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt

Sleep

This thread proves my statement that this business is mostly made up of us nerd types, not a bunch of hairy chested porn guys.

Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
Bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
Bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful
woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of
the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the
Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is
ridiculous.
Bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the
lands.
Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body
explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield
inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's
evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
Bloodninja: Baby?


-----------------------


sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
bloodninja: This **** is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a ******* break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are ******* sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: **** you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go **** yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: **** YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my
picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you
wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your
thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up
against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with
every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my
mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to
my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the
cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

Yes sir,,,Although my wife thinks I'm go to an "important meeting"

You and Izzz coming??

here are the directions:
http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp...e=11747%2d2506

I knew it was a poker playing call.

I just read this thread for the first time since about 30min after i posted it and HOLY FUCK ... I Never played D&D but the terms and some of the responses in this thread made me laugh my ass off ....

By the way the game was great and we'll be setting up a game at least once a month .....but maybe on Fridays ... i slept on the couch in the office watching Mtv all day Thursday ..