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Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Smithers to Mr Burns. - I told you so
Mr. Burns - I told you so has a brother and his name is Shut UP.
Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding ...
Bart: Geez Homer, you sure do suck tonight.
Homer: Yeah, suck like a fox!
Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Homer: Son, I just want you to know I have total faith in you.
Bart: Since when?
Homer: Since your mother yelled at me.
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