My grandfather used to have 5-6 rusty tins on a piece of cord that he used to pull from inside the house every now and then to scare the birds that were eating the figs from his trees. It was fun to watch.
I have one next to my bed. When the birds are loud, I open the window and hit a few branches where they're squawking. When they all fly away, I go back to sleep. It's painful to wake up to that noise, and go through the trouble, but I don't kill anything and they stop coming back after a few times.
I'd like to take you now on wings of song as it were, and try and help you forget, perhaps, for a while, your drab wretched lives. Here is a song all about springtime in general, and in particular about one of the many delightful pastimes that the coming of spring affords us all.
Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.
I do, don't you? 'Course you do.
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes every Sunday a treat for me.
All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.
When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
The sun's shining bright,
Everything seems all right,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.
So if Sunday you're free,
Why don't you come with me,
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel* or two,
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment,
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strych'nine
We feed to a pigeon.
(It just takes a smidgin!)
To poison a pigeon in the park.
My grandfather used to have 5-6 rusty tins on a piece of cord that he used to pull from inside the house every now and then to scare the birds that were eating the figs from his trees. It was fun to watch.
Are you Italian? My dad would do that with any critter near his garden. For the birds, he used to feed them on balcony until they were nice and plump, then shoot them down with the BB gun. In those days there were practically no neighbours and no houses behind ours.
I (well, me and my class) had to take that fucker apart and put it together again during nuclear weapons specialist training school - it's one big som'bitch for sure!
Large Yellow helium ballons with EYEBALL Stickers all over ...
Birds hate to be watched...
or hang rubber snakes from branches of trees... they use that at restaurants at the river and it works
In farm areas they use these propane powered noisemaking devices. makes a big boom... birds go by by... but me thinks the boom might keep you awake too
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