Funny Pilot gripe Sheet [lolol]

yes its old, but it dont matter, its still a good laugh even the 100th time around..

Thought this was hilarious, sorry i'm not too eager to remove the '>' either
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
>sheet,"
> >which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
> >correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
> >pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
> >
> >Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
> >some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the
> >solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
> >
> >By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
> >accident.
> >
> >----------------------------------------
> >(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
> >(S= The solution and action taken by
> > mechanics.)
> >
> >P: Left inside main tire almost needs
> > replacement.
> >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very
> > rough.
> >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Something loose in cockpit.
> >S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> >S: Live bugs on back-order.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode
> > produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing
> > gear.
> >S: Evidence removed.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> >S: DME volume set to more believable
> > level.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to
> > stick.
> >S: That's what they're for.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: IFF inoperative.
> >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> >S: Suspect you're right.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Number 3 engine missing.
> >S: Engine found on right wing after brief
> > search.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Aircraft handles funny.
> >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly
> > right, and be serious.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Target radar hums.
> >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Mouse in cockpit.
> >S: Cat installed.
> >----------------------------------------
> >P: Noise coming from under instrument
> > panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
> > on something with a hammer.
> >S: Took hammer away from midget